


Where You Belong

by caelestisxyz



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Age Difference, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, Coming Out, Drama, Everything is consensual, Falling In Love, First Time, If it's not your thing don't read, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Iwaizumi is 33, M/M, Masturbation, Oikawa is 17, Pining, Romance, it happened in the past, minor background characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 15:03:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 51,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13273968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caelestisxyz/pseuds/caelestisxyz
Summary: After a nasty divorce, Iwaizumi thinks his life is over. What more is there for a thirty-something, washed up athlete? He finds the answer to that question, and more in his next door neighbor.





	1. Starry Eyes

Emotions were high.

This was the part when they should have walked away from each other, allowing the tension to subside before either of them said or did something that they would regret. Their marriage was already over; the only thing they needed to do was actually admit it to one another. Yet, they've danced around the subject for months. Months of forced conversations over bland meals and sex that ended in fake orgasms; sometimes on both ends.

Tearing his eyes away from his fuming wife, Hajime looked at the wet splatter on the wall. Out of everything in their two-story home, the sand-colored walls in their bedroom were his favorite thing. It had been the only thing that he had any say so in when it had come to decorating despite having paid for the house on his own.

But, Hajime had never been the petty type. Anything that belonged to him, had once belonged to his wife. Not just material items, either. Now the only thing that they shared was the refrigerator. He'd been sleeping in the guest room for months. Even after sex, he wouldn't lie next to her. Sometimes she stayed at her sister's house or at least that was what she told Hajime.

Broken pieces of glass were scattered on the carpet from the glass of Cognac he'd thrown against the wall only moments ago. How had things come to this? Hajime had always had trouble with controlling his anger, but it had never been this bad. He had never directed that anger towards his wife. In fact, he'd never raised his voice at her until recently.

"Look at me!" she demanded, voice sharp and venomous, "Look at me when I'm talking to you!" She took a step closer and hit him in the chest with both her fist causing him to stumble back.

This wasn't the first time she'd escalated to physical violence during one of their arguments. It had never been too serious. Just the occasional shove and that one time she'd slapped him. Not once had Hajime retaliated; at least not physically.

Scowling, Hajime faced her again. "Don't touch me!" he yelled, not giving a shit if the neighbors heard him or not. If he stayed there, things would only get worse. "I'm leaving!" He turned on his heels to do just that.

His wife laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, that's right! Run away like you always do, Hajime!" She followed him out the door of their bedroom, out into the hallway. "Do you want to know the truth about last Wednesday?"

Hajime made his way down the stairs. "I don't care," he threw the words over his shoulder with a defeated shrug.

That didn't deter his wife. She was determined to make him hurt, she wanted to get a reaction out of him for once. "I was fucking someone else!" she screamed, standing at the top of the stairs, peering down at her husband's back.

The information succeeded in halting Hajime in his steps. Slowly, he turned around, yet, he remained silent. He simply stared at her, trying to find a remnant of the woman he'd fallen head over heels for during his junior year of university.

Hajime couldn't find a trace of her.

Feeling triumphant, his wife descended down two more stairs, drawing near, but keeping her distance. "I stood you up on our anniversary because I was fucking another man! It felt great experiencing an orgasm after years without one!" That was a lie; she'd experienced plenty with Hajime, but the goal was to crush his self-esteem in order to build herself up.

The confession flew from her mouth. It was something that she never thought she'd admit to. She knew instantly from the look in his eyes that she'd hit the mark. In that instant, their relationship shattered into shards. Nothing would ever be the same again.

"I want a divorce," Hajime said.

Carefully spoken, without emotion, his words had an air of finality to them and no matter how hard she railed against them, nothing would change his mind.

Hajime was done.

* * *

A sharp knock on the front door woke Hajime up from his slumber. Actually, he hadn't been sleeping; he'd been tethering between consciousness and unconsciousness for quite some time. Opening his eyes, he was met with the silhouette of the television and coffee table. The heavy drapes were closed making it difficult for him to decipher the time of day.

There had been a time when Hajime would have trusted his body with the task but lately, everything had been out of whack. Sometimes he wondered if any of it was real. It was the third time that week that he'd awaken on the couch in the living room despite having fallen asleep in his bed. His back was sore from the odd angle he had been sleeping in and his head throbbed from a mixture of things; mainly hard liquor and crying himself to sleep.

Another knock sounded, this one louder than the previous. Cursing under his breath, Hajime untangled himself from the blanket. His foot caught in the fabric and he almost tripped on his way to the door which gave him another reason to be pissed that morning.

The sigh that came was a signal, not of his resolve leaving but of the level his tension had reached. He was more like an old-fashioned kettle - still full even when some steam forced its way out.

When a third knock came, Hajime forcefully yanked the door open, greeting the unwanted visitor with a very unkind word. He raised his hand to serve as a visor to block his eyes from the sun's rays.

"That's not a very nice word, Iwaizumi-san," a nasally voice chided.

Hajime had to stop himself from repeating the word again. Instead, he clenched his eyes shut tightly to convey his agitation. "Why can't you use the community pool like everyone else, Tooru-kun?"

"I like your pool better," Tooru grinned. Then quickly, he straightened as if he'd remembered something. "Hey, Iwaizumi-san, guess what day it is!" He announced excitedly, placing his hands on his hips.

Hajime threw out the first day that came to mind. "Thursday?" he said.

"Wrong!"

Taking a deep breath, Hajime turned around and walked away knowing that Tooru would follow him. He was right. The boy closed the door behind him, removed his shoes, and walked around the house like he owned the place. Hajime stepped into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. Seeing that the pot he'd made yesterday morning was still in there, he grimaced.

He didn't even remember making coffee yesterday morning. Hell, he didn't know what day yesterday was.

Or today for that matter.

"Sunday," said Hajime, keeping up with the game that he'd never wanted to play but couldn't find a reason not to.

Sitting on the barstool, Tooru rested his elbows on the kitchen's island. "You're not even trying." He blew out a dramatic huff of air. Getting up from the barstool, he walked over to the calendar that hung on the refrigerator door. "I wrote it down so you'd remember."

Frowning, Hajime walked closer. Tooru had to flip the calendar to the correct month because it was two months behind. "When did you write it down?"

"Last month." Finally, on the month of July, he pointed at the circled day. "See!"

Reading over the boy's shoulder, Hajime eyes widened fractionally. "Oh," the word came out drier than he'd intended. Expecting to hear a loud whine or a string of complaints, he quickly added, "Happy Birthday, Tooru-kun.."

Tooru turned around, staring at Hajime expectedly. "I turned 17 today."

He'd known Tooru since the boy was twelve. So, that meant he'd spent five years in a home with  _that_  woman. Had it really been that long?

Just thinking about his soon to be ex-wife made Hajime's mood plummet. The divorce papers had been faxed days ago and there was still no word from Miho's attorney. Hajime was beginning to wonder if the woman intended to sway his thoughts. She'd be better off trying to catch Big Foot on film.

There was no way that Hajime was going back on his word. Their marriage was over.

Hajime blinked, remembering that there was a very upset teenager standing in front of him waiting for a response. "Happy Birthday." Hadn't he said that already? "How are you going to spend the day?"

Tooru placed his hands on his hips. The action brought Hajime's eyes to the short swimming trunks the boy was wearing. Was it him or did they get shorter with every visit? This wasn't the first time that he'd noticed slight changes in, not only Tooru's appearance but his attitude, as well. In the end, Hajime brushed it off as a typical teenage thing.

"Well, I wanted to start the day with a swim." Tooru gestured to his attire. "Later, I'm going to see a show with some friends."

"I'll need to clean the pool first." He really didn't want to clean the pool. "It may take a while..."

"I guess I can wait," Tooru sighed.

Hajime inwardly groaned. After two cups of coffee and stalling, he went out back to clean the pool. By clean the pool, all he had to do was turn the machine on and let it get to work. Tooru said something about wanting to get a tan so took his shirt off and he stretched his long, lean body on one of the lounge chairs.. Absently, Hajime wondered if Tooru was popular with the girls at his school. He looked like the obnoxious type to get a confession from a different girl every other day.

Although, Hajime was one to talk. His high school days may have been uneventful but he was considered popular at his university. Being the captain of the volleyball team played a major role in that. He had a different girl in his dorm every other week before he started to date Miho his junior year. Love at first sight; that was what he'd thought it was when he'd met Miho. They married immediately after graduation. All of his friends had told him that he'd moved too fast but Hajime had been so sure of his decisions.

Life wasn't over for him, though. He was only thirty-three. That was still considered young by most people, wasn't it?

"Iwaizumi-san," Tooru called, "Can you give me a hand?"

Hajime looked at the bottle of sunscreen lotion. "No," he said, shaking his head.

"I can't reach my back!" he whined.

"Then put your shirt back on!"

The boy pouted. Sitting up, he tried to apply the sunscreen to his back on his own. Despite his long limbs, he was having a hard time. Hajime decided to pity Tooru. Taking the bottle from him, he instructed the boy to lie on his stomach. Hajime mechanically applied the lotion, his thoughts elsewhere. Then, that changed when Tooru let out a tiny gasp.

Hajime noticed how red Tooru's neck was. It was one of the hottest days of the month so he chalked it up to that. Trailing his eyes down the boy's smooth, pale back, he checked to make sure he'd left no spot uncovered.

"Okay, you're good."

Tooru took a moment to sit up. When he did, his face was flustered and his hands were awkwardly placed in his lap. "Thanks," he muttered, "Can I use your bathroom?"

"Sure. You know where it is."

Tooru was hurriedly walking toward the patio door before Hajime could finish his sentence.

* * *

In the bathroom, Tooru panicked. He hoped that Hajime didn't see the boner he'd tried and failed to suppress. That was the first time that he'd ever felt Hajime's hands on his bare flesh. Understandably, his young, inexperienced body couldn't take it. Well, Tooru wasn't that inexperienced. He'd made out with a couple of girls and even groped one or two. But that was about it. He had the opportunity to go all the way with his ex-girlfriend but he turned her down.

Tooru had told her that he respected her too much. In actuality, he was saving himself for someone else. His friends thought that his volleyball obsession was the reason for all his failed relationships. While Oikawa would admit that his love for volleyball surpassed the norm, that wasn't the reason why he couldn't keep a girlfriend.

He could have his pick of any of the girls at his high school; maybe even some of the boys. Yet, he had his heart set on a man who was nearly double his age. The infatuation began at the age of thirteen when he discovered that he was bisexual with a preference for older men who had sun-kissed skin, hazel eyes, and husky voices. The first time he ever masturbated, he had a fantasy of Hajime groping him.

As he aged, the fantasies became more debauched to the point where Tooru loved to finger himself to the thought of Hajime fucking him within an inch of his life. The older man seemed like the rough type in the bedroom, too.

Initially, Tooru was ashamed of his thoughts. But now, he fully accepted his feelings for Hajime. All he had to do was get Hajime to recognize and accept them as well.

The neon-green swimming trunks he was wearing were purposefully a size too small. He wondered if Hajime had noticed his back dimples or how great his ass looked.

Probably not.

Hajime wasn't a creep like the other men Tooru encountered throughout his adolescence. They openly showed their interest and it always weirded Tooru out. But now he was dying for Hajime to notice him. Honestly, Tooru liked that Hajime wasn't a creep. He loved how caring and kind the man was. Although lately, Hajime had been grumpier than usual...

Tooru narrowed his eyes. Perhaps the man's wife had something to do with it. That woman didn't deserve Hajime in Tooru's opinion.

Leaving the bathroom, he made sure that Hajime was still outside near the pool, and then he dashed into the man's bedroom. The last time he was in here, he'd almost been caught sniffing Hajime's cologne. He couldn't even remember the lie he'd told to the man's wife to get out of that awkward situation.

Walking over to the nightstand, Tooru picked up a stack of papers and read through them. One word had his hands trembling.

_Divorce._

Tooru almost shouted for joy but he contained himself. If Hajime was getting a divorce that would lessen the obstacles in their way. He'd already worried about the whole age-difference thing. It didn't bother him one bit but Hajime seemed like the morally upright type. Then, there was Hajime's sexuality. Tooru suspected that Hajime was bisexual, as well. He just wasn't sure if Hajime had realized it, yet.

The more he thought about it, there were several things standing in their way. Tooru was determined, though. He knew that this wasn't just a childish crush. They were meant to be together. He knew it when he found one of Hajime's old volleyball matches online. The man had been the captain of the volleyball team over at Meiji; Tooru's dream university.

Watching Hajime play had only solidified what Tooru had been telling himself for years: They were soulmates. All he had to do was get Hajime to realize that.

* * *

Idly, Hajime watched the tiny ripples expand around his submerged ankles. As long as the pool had been in his backyard, he'd only swam in it three times. The first time was a week after he'd first moved in. He and his wife had enjoyed a night swim together. Hajime couldn't recall the other two times. Sometimes his mind got like that; each day he found it harder and harder to determine if his memories were real or just made up. He also couldn't tell if this phenomenon had occurred before or after he filed for a divorce.

"So, what are you going to get me for my birthday?" Tooru asked as he floated aimlessly on the neon, foam raft.

Blinking rapidly, Hajime stared at the teenager who was now floating toward him. He'd almost forgotten that Tooru was there which was saying a lot because the boy seemed to never shut up. Though today, Tooru seemed uncharacteristically quiet. Hajime had no idea what that was about. He'd even go so far as to say that it worried him; if only a little.

"Am I supposed to get you anything for your birthday?" asked Hajime in all seriousness.

For a split second, Tooru's brown eyes lost their natural brilliance. Then, the boy blinked, his eyes returning to normal. "You know, it's not every day that a young man turns 17!"

"Yeah, I hear it happens once in a person's life."

Tooru laughed so hard that he almost fell off the raft. The teen's antics brought a smile to Hajime's face. Without contemplating his actions, he dipped his hands in the water, and then splashed Tooru in the face.

Sputtering, Tooru fell off the neon raft into the pool with a loud splash. Soon after a fight ensued. In retaliation, Tooru splashed Hajime with the water. As the playfulness escalated, Hajime was eventually pulled into the pool despite his stern protests.

"Dammit," Hajime cursed as he climbed out of the pool, his clothes soaked and sticking to his firm body, "Good thing I didn't have my phone on me," he muttered.

Taking his shirt off, Hajime had his bare back to Tooru, who was still in the pool, while he wrung his shirt out. When he faced the teen, he noticed how half of his face was submerged in the water, and the half that was still exposed was scarlet red. Again, Hajime contributed it to the heat.

"I'm going to go change," Hajime said.

Tooru quickly rose out of the water. "You're already wet," he exclaimed, voice coming out hoarse, "You might as well just get back in..."

While Hajime thought it over, he was unknowingly giving Tooru quite a show. Glistening water rolled down his pectorals and abs, his dark hair curled slightly from the dampness, and the sun bathed his tan skinned in a golden hue. Poor Tooru feared he'd have to nurse a nosebleed soon. How could one man be this beautiful? Tooru wondered.

"I guess you're right," Hajime agreed.

Without warning, the older man cannon-balled into the pool, and then the water fight continued. Hajime couldn't recall ever laughing so much or having nearly as much fun as he did with Tooru that morning. Of course, the feeling was fleeting.

"Do you workout a lot, Iwaizumi-san?" asked Tooru, they were walking to the gate that leads to the sidewalk closer to the boy's home.

"I haven't been to a gym in months," Hajime admitted sheepishly, "Hard to tell that I used to be an athlete, huh?"

Tooru gave Hajime an unreadable look. "Not at all," he said.

Why did that sound like a compliment? Even if it wasn't Hajime's brain identified it as such. Compliments used to come frequently at the start of his marriage but like everything else good about the marriage, the compliments began to fade. Honestly, he didn't think he would know how to react if anyone actually tried to approach him romantically. But that was a topic for another day. He felt weird thinking about romance while Tooru was still around.

Though, without really trying to Hajime glanced over at Tooru, watching how his wet swimming trunks pulled against his bottom every time he walked. Then, a big red 'STOP' sign appeared in his mind, putting a swift end to his thoughts.

Feeling mildly disgusted with himself, Hajime looked anywhere but at the teen. That was when he noticed an expensive car parked at the Oikawa residence.

"Your brother in town?"

Tooru's face lit up. "Yeah! He's here for my birthday!"

From Hajime's understanding, Tooru adored his older brother. Around the same time that Hajime moved in next door, Tooru's father had walked out on his wife and two sons. Rumors have it that he was now with a younger woman in Tokyo. Hajime had never been the one to care for rumors but Miho had kept him updated on the neighborhood gossip, anyway. When their father had left them, Tooru's older brother, Takumi, had to fill in the role as head of the household. Although Takumi now lived in Osaka for work, he still provided for his family and visited as often as he could.

"Well, Happy Birthday again, Tooru."

Tooru stared at his feet. "Are you seriously not going to give me a gift?" he asked.

What was with Tooru today? Hajime had never given Tooru anything for his birthday in the past. Well, there was that one time he allowed Tooru's mom to borrow his pool for a birthday party. Maybe that counted as a gift. The party was a success from what he could tell. Then, there was that other time that he gave Tooru a volleyball like three years back. But he'd never made an effort to remember the boy's birthday or get him a gift.

What was so special about Tooru's seventeenth birthday?

But because Hajime could never be rude to the kid, even if he wanted to, he did something that he probably shouldn't have done.

"Tell you what," Hajime said, "I'll give you whatever you want. You just have to let me know before midnight."

Tooru's eyes widened. "Whatever I want?" he gasped.

"Yeah." Hajime opened the gate for him. "Now, go enjoy the rest of your day, kid."

Tooru scowled at the word "kid" but he didn't complain about it like he normally would have. Something else occupied his thoughts. "I'll be back before midnight!" he promised as he ran toward his house.

Hajime watched him go. With Tooru's absence, his world grew dim again and his thoughts became consumed by  _her._

* * *

"Got somewhere you need to be?"

Tooru quickly put his phone away and flashed his older brother a smile. "I'm just checking to see how many hours are left of the best day ever!"

Of course, Takumi could see right through him. The older Oikawa was just as handsome as his younger brother except his features were sharper and more defined due to his age. Takumi's hair was also styled in a shorter cut with tapered sides. Despite the seven-year age gap, the brothers had always gotten along. That was why Takumi was able to tell when Tooru was lying.

"What's her name?" Takumi asked with a knowing grin.

Tooru hated that question because everyone always assumed that he was infatuated with a girl. Then again, he'd yet to come out to anyone so he could understand why they'd thought that way. He was bisexual but he had a stronger preference for men. Well, he had a very strong preference for one man in particular. Tooru had even thought about losing his virginity to another man so that he'd be ready for Hajime, but he couldn't bring himself to go through with it.

The only person he wanted to have that part of him was Hajime. So, Tooru decided to ask Hajime tonight. The man said that he would give him anything he wanted. Tooru wanted Hajime; nothing more, nothing less.

Because he wasn't ready to come out to his brother AND reveal his crush on their neighbor - something he was sure his older brother wouldn't approve of - Tooru came up with a generic female name.

"Sakura," he said, "She wants to see me before midnight."

"Where is she? I can take you there."

"Takumi, she wants to  _see me_  before midnight," he said again, this time with added emphasis.

Raising his brows in understanding, Takumi smiled. "Is my little brother trying to lose his virginity tonight?" he joked.

"I'm not a virgin!"

"Does that mean you're having unprotected sex, Tooru? You don't have any condoms in your bedroom."

Tooru gritted his teeth. "I thought I told you to stop snooping in my room," he said in a hushed voice to keep from causing a scene in the karaoke bar.

Takumi sighed. "Mom is worried about you." He touched Tooru's shoulder in a placating gesture. "She thinks you're cutting again…"

"That was one time!" Lowering his voice, Tooru nervously chewed on his bottom lip. "That was during junior high when I thought that underclassmen would replace me. I promised you that I wouldn't do it again and I haven't."

"I believe you." Takumi allowed his hand to linger. "I'm sorry for snooping. I was just worried. You know if you ever need me I'll drop everything and come back."

That was the thing, Tooru didn't want his brother to drop everything and come back, especially not because of him. His brother had put his plans on hold in the past so that he could look after Tooru and their mother. He didn't want to burden his brother anymore; though he should have known that Takumi had never viewed him as a burden.

"Did anything else catch your attention?" Tooru knew that he had a large tube of lube and an anal plug in his bedroom. If his brother saw that, then the cat was out of the bag.

Takumi took a sip of his beverage. He looked as if he was debating on how to approach the situation, and that was telling enough.

"I think that's enough prying for one night," Takumi said.

Tooru sighed in relief.

"Though, you do know that you're not entitled to disclose your...sexuality to me or mom, right?" Takumi scratched the side of his face. "Just for future references. No matter what, you're still my little brother."

"Thank you."

The awkward air dissipated. They were there to celebrate Tooru's birthday, after all. After Tooru's friends from school, Matsukawa, and Hanamaki, finished their duet, Tooru took the stage. He performed a high energy rendition of one of his favorite pop songs. When he was done he checked his phone again for what felt like the fiftieth time.

"You have two hours left. Why don't you get going," said Takumi, "I'll cover for you."

Tooru didn't need to be told twice. "You're the best! See you later." He quickly ran to the door of the bar.

Since the karaoke bar was downtown, Tooru had to take an Uber home to get to the Iwaizumi residence in time. His driver was a bit chatty. Normally, he wouldn't have minded but he was extremely anxious tonight.

Was tonight finally the night?

Tooru was out of the car as soon as it parked at the curb. He lost a bit of his eagerness once he was standing at Hajime's front door. He needed to be realistic about all of this. Just because Hajime promised him that he would give him anything that he asked for, that didn't mean that the man would keep his word.

It wasn't like Tooru was asking for something that could be easily purchased from the store. He wanted Hajime's heart.

A loud crash coming from the backyard snapped Tooru out of his thoughts. The sound of a familiar voice reassured him that there wasn't anyone trying to break into the house. He followed the string of swears to the clutter of lawn chairs near the pool.

Hajime was throwing the chairs around, some flying into the pool, and one landing at Tooru's feet. He'd never seen Hajime this upset about anything so it was startling.

"Iwaizumi-san," he said.

Hajime slowly turned around. He was clearly intoxicated. "Tooru-kun?" He took a step closer.  
"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"You told me to come back before midnight, remember?"

"Did I?" he slurred, taking slow, off-balance steps toward the teen. "You shouldn't be here right now...you shouldn't see me like this."

Now that Hajime was closer, Oikawa could see that the man was crying. They were angry tears, though. He wished that he could help in any kind of way but he had no idea what to do. He gasped quietly when Hajime rested his head on his shoulder.

"You should lie down," Tooru suggested, "Come on, I'll help you inside."

Surprisingly, Hajime didn't put up a fight. With great difficulty, Tooru managed to get the older man inside the house and onto the couch in the living room. He kneeled at the side of the couch, staring at Hajime's long, damp lashes.

"I remember now," Hajime muttered, "You came back for your gift."

"Yeah, I did."

"What do you want?"

The answer was on the tip of Tooru's tongue but the timing was all wrong. However, he figured that it was now or never. If he didn't say anything now…

Hajime circled his arm around Tooru's shoulder and pulled him up to lie on top of him. Burying his nose in Tooru's hair, he hummed to himself.

Tooru felt as though he were in heaven. He was surrounded by Hajime's scent, not the expensive cologne the man wore occasionally, but his natural scent. If they stayed like this there was no way he'd be able to not pop a boner. He tried wiggling out of the man's hold but that only made it worse.

"Will you stay with me?" Hajime whispered, freezing Tooru in place. "I don't wanna' be alone."

 _Always._ Was what Tooru wanted to say. Instead, he settled for nothing at all. He would express his feelings through his actions instead. That night, Tooru fell asleep listening to the sound of Hajime's heartbeat. It was the perfect way to end his seventeenth birthday.

TBC


	2. Dreaming of You

If Tooru thought that falling asleep in Hajime's arms was the best thing ever, then waking up, still entangled in Hajime's arms, was heaven on earth. The warmth and safety the older man possessed made Tooru feel incredibly small, vulnerable, even. That's saying something considering he was 184cm and growing. For all of his long legs and lean muscles, Tooru loved the idea of being cared for like this, especially if it was Hajime who was looking after him. But, that wasn't to say that he wouldn't mind reciprocating that affection.

For as long as he'd known Hajime, the man had never seemed as unhinged as he did last night. He'd seen a side of Hajime that he'd never seen before. Tooru, naturally, blamed everything on the man's wife. Well, soon to be ex-wife. Possessively, Tooru snuggled closer to Hajime, burying his nose in the crook of the man's neck. Unconsciously, Hajime returned the embrace. 

The action caused the heat that was once in Tooru's face to travel south, settling in his belly. Up until then, Tooru had remained as still as a statue knowing that any slight friction would give him a boner. He had no idea how he'd survived that long what with the way Hajime's shirt was scrunched up at the hem, revealing the ridge of muscle on his abdomen, and how his sweatpants were riding dangerously low on his hip.

Tooru had to refrain from tracing his finger along the well-defined V that led into Hajime's pants. How was one man this perfect? Unsurprisingly, Tooru wasn't Hajime's only admirer. A good bit of the women in the neighborhood, regardless of their marital status, had made attempts at flirting with Hajime at least once or twice. It wasn't fair that the dull housewives in the community were free to throw themselves at Hajime while Tooru had to be cautious. 

There was even a handful of guys on the volleyball team that had mentioned their fondness for Hajime. The man was an alumnus of Aobajōsai where he served as captain of the volleyball club, and he was the former volleyball captain at Meiji University. After university, Hajime went on to play for the national team until an injury ended his career. Now, Hajime worked as a respected sports journalist.

How could anyone not be enamored with someone as attractive and successful as Iwaizumi Hajime? Tooru wasn't naive enough to think that Hajime was without faults but he'd yet to see a flaw.

The sound of his phone vibrating on the coffee table reminded Tooru of the present. He didn't have to glance at his caller I.D to know that Takumi was calling him. His older brother was more than likely a mix of concerned and pissed off that Tooru hadn't contacted him since he'd left the karaoke bar last night. Normally, Tooru was good about checking in, but he'd been busy comforting Hajime last night.

Afraid to ruin the peaceful moment, Tooru tried to ignore his phone yet Takumi was calling back to back. Knowing his brother, he wouldn't stop calling until he either answered his phone or texted him. Sighing, Tooru outstretched his arm to reach for his phone. Hajime moved in his sleep but his eyes remained closed. Tooru thought he was in the clear until Hajime's large hands fell to his bottom.

Freezing in place, Tooru's breath caught in his throat, his eyes were the size of saucers, and the heat that was once in his belly filled his dick. As much as this seemed like a dream come true, Tooru prayed that Hajime wouldn't move anymore. He wasn't trying to go home with semen in his pants. Not while his brother and mother were at home waiting for him.

Hajime grunted something incoherent in his sleep, his hot breath tickling Tooru's ear. That was enough to pull a low whine from the teenager. Hajime must have liked the sound of that because the weight of his hands on Tooru's bottom became heavier as he pressed down to bring their groins together. Instinctively, Tooru's hands clutched the collar of Hajime's shirt. He didn't have enough time to register what was happening before Hajime repeated the action, this time with more roughness, his hips rising to add more pressure. 

Gasping loudly, Tooru eyes snapped shut, pleasure overtaking him. His nipples hardened in arousal, the sensitive nubs aching with every brush of their chests. Tooru momentarily lost control of his movements. His hips rolled at their own volition, barely keeping up with Hajime's more practiced thrusts.  

This wasn't how Tooru had always envisioned their first, intimate encounter going. Whenever he jacked off, he always pictured himself seducing Hajime until the older man fucked him blind. In his more, innocent fantasies, the ones he had when he daydreamed in class, Hajime always initiated the encounter. He was always gentle and patient, making sure to constantly tell Tooru how beautiful he was and how he didn't want anyone else but him.

While reality was nothing like either of those fantasies, Tooru would settle for it. He'd settle for Hajime unconsciously rutting against him as he lazily licked his neck and grunted in his ear. It wasn't as though Tooru could put an end to it, anyway. And, why would he want to do that? Everything felt  _amazing._  His entire body felt on fire, his head felt light, and he was already on the brink of orgasm.

"Iwaizumi-san...yes," Tooru whimpered. Daringly, he added a quiet, " _Hajime_."

Hajime kissed Tooru's neck, a hand slipping under the teen's shirt. "Miho," he whispered.

Tooru jerked away from Hajime as though he'd been doused in icy, cold water. Feelings of hurt and confusion replaced his lust. Untangling himself from Hajime's grasp, Tooru stumbled off the couch, trying to get as far away from Hajime as he could. Frowning in his sleep, Hajime rolled over to his side, seeking the lost warmth.

Angrily, Tooru grabbed his phone off the table, and then stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him, uncaring if it woke Hajime up or not. Instead of taking the sidewalk home, he walked around back to jump the fence that led to his backyard. There was a tall, white trellis on the side of his house with green vines intertwined. Climbing the trellis, Tooru pulled himself up on the low roof and carefully walked to his bedroom window.

"Where in the hell have you been?" Takumi greeted the moment Tooru slipped through the window.

Tooru wasn't in the mood. "Fuck off, Takumi," he snapped, slamming the window shut.

Takumi crossed the short distance, his brown eyes narrowed. One look at his younger brother's tear-stained face and his annoyance dissipated. "What happened?" He took in Tooru's red face and the teen's ruffled clothes. "Did someone hurt you?" His anger returned just as quickly as it'd vanished.

"No." Tooru quickly wiped his eyes. "Nothing happened. I'm fine."

"You're clearly not fine."

"Can we just pretend that I am? I'd really like to be left alone right now."

"And I'd really like to know why my little brother came home crying." Takumi kept his voice low, more than likely not to alert their mother. "Did something happen with...Sakura?"

Taking a seat on the bed, Tooru toed his shoes off. "Yes," he said, knowing that it'd be easier if he gave Takumi something to make him leave, "Sakura is still hung up on her ex."

Takumi nodded in understanding. "That can be tough." He took a seat on the bed next to his brother. "You seem like you really like...her."

"Him."

"Huh?"

"Sakura is a guy, Takumi. Well, his name isn't Sakura, obviously." Tooru was tired of dancing around it. The truth was already out so there was no need for them to pretend anymore. "I'm in love with a guy who isn't over his ex."

His older brother took a moment to process that. To Tooru's surprise, it didn't take as long as he thought it would considering Takumi was one of the straightest men that he knew. Although he'd never heard his brother say anything homophobic, Tooru had heard enough from the guys at his school to assume that all straight men were, in some kind of way, prejudiced toward gay men.

"Well, if he isn't over his ex there isn't much you can do, Tooru. I'm not saying there's no hope for you. I just want you to know that something like this is out of your control. Things like this have to happen naturally."

Tooru knew that but he wasn't ready to accept it. He'd foolishly thought that he could make Hajime return his feelings. The man didn't even notice him like that. Why would he? Why would someone like Hajime be remotely interested in someone like Tooru?

Takumi could tell that Tooru needed more than just reassuring words. "I told mom that you stayed with Issei last night," he said, standing to his feet, "I'm going to take her out for brunch and maybe a little shopping. That should give you enough time to sulk, don't you think?"

"Yeah, that should be enough."

When Takumi left the room, Tooru crawled under his comforter with the intention of crying himself to sleep. Instead, his traitorous mind reminded him of the bulge he'd seen straining against Hajime's sweatpants before he stormed out of the man's house. But he refused to let himself get off from the memory. He was still upset about Hajime uttering the name of his wretched wife during  _their_  intimate moment.

Granted, Hajime was asleep and probably had no idea who he was groping. Still, it hurt Tooru to know that Hajime still thought about her. The divorce wasn't finalized, yet. There was still a chance that Hajime and his wife could reconcile. The very possibility of it saddened Tooru.

* * *

Hajime awoke with a boner like no other and the fading scent of fresh pears enveloping him. On instinct, he shoved his hands down his pants, wrapping his hands around his erection, his thumb smearing precum from the slit and around the head. His mind supplied him with familiar images of a naked woman with dark eyes, long dark hair, and pale skin. He imagined his hands cupping her perky breast as he sucked a rosy nipple into his mouth. He imagined his hands trailing down her flat stomach and disappearing between her parted thighs, pressing into her core.

Realizing who the woman was, Hajime could feel his arousal drop significantly. The very sight of Miho, after everything that happened between them, made him physically sick. His hold on himself slackened. But then his mind supplied him with a new image. Instead of long, dark hair and dark eyes, he thought of short, lighter hair and warm brown eyes filled with vigor. Instead of breasts, Hajime pictured himself caressing a firm chest and slowly trailing his large hands down the sides of a slender, pale waist.

The man in his fantasy assisted him in sliding their neon-green swimming trunks off and wrapping their long legs around Hajime's waist invitingly. Hajime cupped the man's balls, rolling them in the palm of his hand, as he entered him slowly, savoring the stretch of that tight heat around his cock. He took his time to draw out the pleasure for them both and make sure his lover was well taken care of.

_"Iwaizumi-san."_

Hajime groaned.

 _"Iwaizumi-san,"_  his lover moaned again, louder, more desperate than before.

Hajime picked up his pace. His lover screamed his name over and over again. Nearing his completion, Hajime glanced up at his lover and was met with Tooru staring back at him, beautiful face flushed and large eyes filled with bliss. The next thing Hajime knew he was coming all over his hand and shirt. He came so hard that his head felt heavy several moments after his orgasm.

Covering his face with his free arm, Hajime caught his breath. He remained like that until the semen on his hand became cold. His cock was sensitive - a sign of a satisfying release - and he didn't want to move from that spot but he knew he was going to be annoyed once the semen dried. Forcing himself up, he used the hem of his shirt to wipe himself clean.

In the shower, he shut out any and all thoughts concerning what he'd just done, thinking he could make it less real by doing so. Obviously, that didn't work. Hajime thought about it against his will. That was the second time his mind had betrayed him that morning. The fact that he'd got off from the thought of fucking his underage neighbor made Hajime feel like a disgusting human being.

Tooru was the same kid that Hajime used to play volleyball with whenever the boy's dad didn't make good on his promise to pick him up for the weekend. Hajime had watched Tooru grow up. It felt weird and several levels of wrong to sexualize him.

Resting his head on the shower wall, Hajime blankly stared at the water and soap that flowed down the drain. Bits and pieces of last night came back to him. He remembered drinking too much and making the mistake of reading over an old message thread between himself and Miho. At the time, they'd been arguing about Hajime's inability to give Miho what she'd always wanted; kids.

It wasn't that Hajime didn't want kids. He was just incapable of producing them. Miho had known that. He'd told her before they'd married yet the woman had still used it to belittle him. If anything, Hajime was pissed that he'd given so much to a fucked up person like Miho.

Closing his eyes, Hajime thought of how concerned Tooru had been for him. He remembered how the boy helped him into the house. Everything after that was fuzzy, though. He wasn't even sure when Tooru had left. Hajime was known to sleep like a log. Regardless, he would have to find a way to thank Tooru for his kindness. As for what had happened that morning...

Hajime had no idea what to think of it. Back in college, he'd slept with a few guys. Women were great; they were soft to the touch, smelled nice, and Hajime  _loved_  breasts. But he couldn't deny that there were a handful of men who caught his attention. Normally, Hajime found himself drawn to anyone who he'd felt connected with on more than just an intimate level. Their gender had always been an afterthought.

Tooru had never crossed his mind in that regard so Hajime was surprised by this new revelation. The best thing to do was to treat it as nothing. He wouldn't think about it or allow it to happen again.

After a shower, Hajime made himself a pot of coffee. Once the coffee was finished brewing, he took the entire pot upstairs to his office. Even though he wasn't required to go to work for another week, he decided to do some research on up and coming athletes. As always, all of his personal problems took a back seat while he worked. Hajime had thought that there would be nothing for him aside from volleyball but he was wrong.

He enjoyed writing stories about the underdogs who went up against powerhouses and won. He loved interviewing young athletes who were passionate and dedicated to their chosen sport. All of it reminded Hajime of his glory days. No one truly understood his passion for sports, not even Miho.

That wasn't true, though.

There was someone that Hajime could always talk to about sports, especially volleyball, without fearing that he was boring them to death. That same person was on his computer screen now, telling one of Hajime's colleagues, in so many words, that his team would beat Shiratorizawa this upcoming season. The fiery passion in Tooru's eyes and the sheer confidence he possessed, was addicting. Hajime had always enjoyed watching Tooru's interviews but not nearly as much as he enjoyed watching Tooru play. It was unfortunate that he'd never had a chance to see Tooru play in person. 

During the time of Tooru's interview, Hajime had been at Shiratorizawa Academy interviewing Ushijima Wakatoshi, one of the country's top three aces. Despite Ushijima's dry responses, Hajime knew that the boy was just as passionate about volleyball. Ushijima had even mentioned his eagerness to play against Tooru again. In his profession, they weren't allowed to openly have favorites but Hajime had always rooted for Tooru in secret. 

When the video of Tooru's interview ended, Hajime rewatched it from the beginning. He didn't get much work done that morning.

* * *

"What's this?" Tooru asked, flushing at the words  _lubricated_  and  _bare-skinned_  printed on the colorful box of condoms.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Takumi glanced to the side, his own face red with embarrassment. "No matter who you're with, I want you to be smart. I got this kind so it would at least...um feel...better for you...or him...whoever."

Tooru was torn; he didn't know if he should be embarrassed by the gift or grateful that he had such a considerate brother. Yesterday, Takumi didn't pester him about what he'd confessed to him that morning. They enjoyed a peaceful day around the house, and then that night, Matsukawa and Hanamaki invited them out to see a movie. Tooru had been grateful for the distractions. He didn't want to think about what had happened with Hajime.

Now that it was time for Takumi to leave town, Tooru wasn't so sure if he'd be able to not acknowledge what'd happened. Especially since his brother seemed intent on giving him  _the talk_.

"You have a bright future, Tooru," Takumi said, "So, I want you to be careful."

Tooru snorted at the absurdity of it. "It's not like I'm going to get anyone pregnant," he said with an exasperated roll of his eyes, "I'm smarter than that."

"There are other things you need to be cautious of, smarty pants."

"It's mandatory that all athletes are tested."

Takumi should know that better than anyone. His brother had run track throughout junior high and high school. There were still trophies for Takumi in the hallways of Aobajousai and Kitagawa Daiichi. When Tooru first started junior high, the track and field coaches had hopes that he would follow in Takumi's footsteps but Tooru had wanted to create his own path. 

"So, is your boyfriend an athlete, too?" asked Takumi.

Tooru sighed. "No, he isn't an athlete and he isn't my boyfriend."

"Then you need to always use a condom to be on the safe side," Takumi spoke slowly like he was speaking to a child, "You'll get tested regularly but there's no guarantee that they will."

Now, Tooru understood what Takumi was on about. For all his intelligence, that had flown right over his head. In his defense, Tooru had never thought about sex like that. If he wasn't fantasizing about Hajime then he was thinking about volleyball. The confessions he'd accepted in the past had been his way of trying to get over Hajime. He'd convinced himself that his feelings would never be reciprocated so he tried to move on. Obviously, that had never worked.

Tooru opened the drawer of his desk and tossed the condoms inside. With the way things were going, he doubted he'd be using them anytime soon. "Volleyball is my top priority so you don't have to worry about me."

Takumi smiled. "That's what I like to hear!" He finally revealed the other bag he'd been hiding behind his back.  "This is your final year at Seijō. You should start it off the right way."

One look at the bag and Tooru was nearly bouncing off the bed with excitement. He snatched the bag out of Takumi's hand, his older brother chuckling at his antics. Quickly, he discarded the bag, revealing a black shoe box. "No way!" He looked up at his brother, a large smile splitting his face.

"Open the box," Takumi urged eagerly, barely containing his own excitement.

Tooru popped the lid off the shoe box and squealed loudly at the sight of the black Asics sneakers. He'd wanted the shoes for his birthday but his mother had warned him that he may have to wait because Takumi had already paid his tuition for the year and wouldn't be able to splurge on expensive sneakers. Tooru had tried to find a part-time job to help him pay for the shoes but he hadn't found any jobs that met his standards or fitted into his busy schedule. But none of that mattered because Takumi purchased the shoes anyway.

"These are the ones you wanted, right?"

Smiling to himself, Tooru stared at the turquoise design on the side of one of the shoes, noting that it was the same shade of turquoise as Seijō's team uniform. "They're exactly what I wanted!" He moved the box to the side and jumped off the bed to give his brother a hug. "You're the best, Takumi!"

Takumi nearly stumbled back from the force of the hug but he maintained his footing. Returning the hug, he rested his chin on Tooru's head. "I know you're going to kill it this year. Remember, win or lose, you're still the best damn setter Seijō has ever had."

"I'm still not good enough to make the top five," Tooru muttered.

"A bunch of old farts made that list. The hell do they know about anything?" Takumi pulled away but kept his arms on his brother's shoulders, their gazes locked. "You're still in the top ten. That's saying something. You have raw talent, Tooru, and it's going to take you places. Places that some people will never see. Don't get too caught up in high school. Your journey doesn't end here, got it?"

Tooru hugged Takumi again. His brother always knew what to say to make him feel better.

* * *

It wasn't that Tooru was avoiding Hajime.

He was just busy training for the upcoming volleyball season. So what if he changed his daily running route to make sure he didn't pass by Hajime's house and even took a different route home from the recreational center to ensure he made it home without bumping into his neighbor. Tooru had meant what he'd told Takumi; there were more important things for him to worry about. His team was counting on him to make good on his promise to take them to nationals. He couldn't allow himself to be distracted by trivial things like romance.

Although, Tooru did grant himself a small reprieve. He was human, after all. With Takumi back in Osaka, it was easier for him to masturbate with a clear conscious or without fear that his brother would somehow overhear him calling out Hajime's name. Their rooms were right next to one another and they shared a bathroom. In junior high, Tooru had heard the girls Takumi used to sneak in all the time. How their mother remained unaware was beyond him.

Every night before bed, when Tooru was positive that his mother was asleep, he touched himself to the memory of Hajime dry humping him. Despite the incident taking place nearly a week ago, it was fresh on Tooru's mind, his body still held the echoes of Hajime's touch, and if he tried hard enough, he could still remember the exact pitch of Hajime's groans.

Tooru purposely blocked out the memory of Hajime saying his wife's name whenever he touched himself. But after every release, it was the only thing he could think about. It hurt. Plain and simple. The fact that Hajime was still bound to that woman, not only in the eyes of the law but emotionally as well, angered Tooru. What did she have that Tooru didn't? Personality wise?

"Everything okay there, Tooru-kun?"

All this time, Tooru hadn't realized that he'd been glaring at the sidewalk like an idiot. Lifting his gaze, he saw Hajime standing there with an arm full of grocery bags and a concerned expression on his face. Taking in his surroundings, Tooru inwardly cringed. He'd unintentionally taken his normal route home from the center. His mother had always got on to him about not paying attention to his surroundings. He was lucky that he at least made it to his neighborhood unharmed.

Adjusting the strap of his gym bag on his shoulder, Tooru stood straighter, making his height more prominent. It was a tactic he often used to quell his nerves. "Iwaizumi-san," he greeted dryly, "I'm surprised to see you out this late considering it's past your bedtime."

Hajime snorted. "That's my line." He nudged his head to the bags he was holding. "Care to give an old man a hand?"

Tooru only agreed to help Hajime with his groceries because he was an upstanding citizen and community service would look great on his university application. Taking two of the bags, he fell into step behind Hajime. While the man unlocked his front door, Tooru tried to take a peek inside the bags; he had a nasty habit of snooping. Seeing nothing interesting, he pouted.

"What were you expecting?" Hajime asked, stepping inside the house. He stood to the side and waited for Tooru to step inside before closing the door.

Sheepishly, Tooru tried to hide his face behind the brown paper bags. "You actually saw that? It's like you have eyes in the back of your head, Iwaizumi-san."

"It comes with age," Hajime chuckled.

"You're not that old."

They sat the bags on the kitchen counter. Hajime muttered his thanks, and then he walked over to the refrigerator to fill it with his new purchases. "Aren't you the one who's always poking fun at my age?"

Tooru just did that because he didn't know how else to handle his crush. It was embarrassing now that he thought about it. To make himself useful, he assisted Hajime in stocking the fridge. "Yeah, but you're really not that old. You don't look a day over twenty-five."

Aside from laugh lines, Hajime's face was wrinkle free, and his hair was thick and full, without any hint of balding. Tooru wasn't going to think about Hajime's other, attractive physical qualities because it was hard enough being around the man without thinking about being dry humped by him. He hated himself for how badly he wanted it again, this time without any clothing between them, and Hajime calling out his name and no one else.

Turning around, Hajime gave Tooru a strange look. "Thank you, Tooru-kun," he said. He reached for the jar of kosher pickles in Tooru's hand, their fingers brushing.

Tooru nearly dropped the jar but Hajime took it from him in time. "Sorry," he apologized without knowing what he was apologizing for. The way Hajime was looking at him made Tooru feel self-conscious. Averting his gaze, he looked at the counter for more groceries but there were none. "Looks like that's it. I should get going."

"I have something for you."

Curiosity got the best of Tooru. "Something for me?" he asked, barely masking the excitement in his voice.

Hajime smiled. Closing the refrigerator, he gestured for Tooru to follow him. Inwardly, Tooru scolded himself for being disappointed that Hajime didn't lead him upstairs. He would have to get his hormones under control and fast. They walked into the den that was neater than it was during Tooru's last visit. He was also surprised to not see a bottle of alcohol in sight.

"You're still into astrology, right?" asked Hajime.

Tooru was shocked that Hajime even remembered that. "It's been a long time since I stargazed," he admitted quietly, "Since my dad left, I haven't really cared for it."

Passing through the large den, they walked to the patio door. Hajime slid the door open, the singing cicadas greeting them. "That's a shame. I thought you'd like this." He showed Tooru a telescope. "I've only ever used it once so it's practically new. It's yours if you want it."

The telescope was white with black accents and it sat on a large tripod. Practically new was an understatement; the telescope looked brand new. Tooru used to want one when he was a child. His father had promised to buy him one but of course, he never had. When his father had walked out on them, Tooru lost his interest in astrology because it had been introduced to him by his father. He had tried to rid himself of everything that reminded him of that man.

"I understand if you don't want it," Hajime said, sounding unsure with himself now.

"No," Tooru spoke up quickly, "I...I love it. It's perfect. Are you really letting me have it?"

Hajime seemed relieved. He smiled again. "Yeah. You wouldn't be able to see the stars that well here but if you ever went camping—"

"Could you take me?"

"Take you?"

"Camping so I can see the stars better..."

Hajime's brows furrowed the way they do whenever he was in deep thought. By now, Tooru had learned a handful of the man's facial expressions. He worried that he'd somehow gave himself away by making such a request. They'd never traveled together or been anywhere outside of the neighborhood. Wouldn't it raise an alarm if he suddenly wanted to hang out with the older man?

Thankfully, Hajime didn't seem to think that deeply into it. "Sure, if your mother is fine with that," Hajime said.

They'd cross that bridge when they got there. "Thank you, Iwaizumi-san," Tooru said, conveying all of his thoughts and emotions into those two, simple words. 

Hajime gave him an odd look again, as though he was seeing Tooru for the first time. "You're welcome, Tooru-kun." He swallowed thickly, his eyes never leaving Tooru's face. "You can leave it here for now. It's getting late. I don't want your mom to worry."

Slowly, Tooru nodded his head. He felt like he was missing something but unfortunately, he was already late for dinner. "Thank you again." He awkwardly bowed, and then quickly retreated around the house, mentally screaming at himself for the overly formal departure. 

Hours after the encounter, Tooru couldn't stop wondering if he'd only imagined the spark of electricity he'd felt buzzing between them. 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be only 5 chapters but my muse decided otherwise. There's a lot I want to explore in this AU and there is a lot of room for development between IwaOi and supporting characters. I will update the tags as the story progresses. Thanks for reading!


	3. Young & Dumb

_The sound of glass shattering jolted Tooru out of his slumber. Clutching his comforter, he brought it up to his chin, hoping the action would ward off any approaching threats. Another crash came from downstairs, this time it sounded like a wooden chair had been thrown against the wall. Realizing what the commotion was, Tooru's shoulders relaxed. He could hear his father yelling at his mother about her constant pestering and his mother yelling her insults back just as loudly. Although the yelling was alarming it was a natural occurrence by this point._

_With a sigh, Tooru threw his comforter back and slid out of bed. His older brother, Takumi, was staying at his teammate's house tonight. Usually, whenever their parents argued like this, his brother would get in the bed with him and hold him until the arguing ceased. Sometimes they would even fall asleep like that despite their father's disapproval._ _Dressing quickly, he spared a glance to the bathroom door that joined their rooms, wishing that his brother was here now._ _But Tooru couldn't rely on Takumi forever._

_The arguing continued, growing more intense by second. Tooru escaped through his bedroom window, careful not to lose his footing on the wet roof. It'd rained earlier that night, and he'd fallen asleep to the calming sound of rain hitting his window. He climbed down the trellis and landed on the damp grass, his sneakers squeaking quietly._

_Even outside, Tooru could hear the sound of his parents arguing. The walls muffled their voices so he could no longer make out what they were saying though he had an idea of what words were being exchanged. Lately, his father had been staying out all hours of the night. Takumi had made a comment about it to their mother but she had brushed it off as though it were nothing. Cleary that wasn't the case._

_Tooru walked to the backyard with the intention of retreating to the tree house for the remainder of the night but the sound of water splashing drew his attention to his neighbor's yard. Slowly, Tooru made his way over to the white, picket fence that separated their yard from their neighbors'. Peeking through the small crack, he watched as the young couple next door enjoyed a night swim._

_His mother had always told him that it wasn't nice to spy on people but she wasn't around right now and this wasn't really spying. Tooru had left his binoculars in his room so he couldn't see much of anything despite the lights around the pool. It wasn't like he was intruding on the couple or anything. They remained oblivious of any onlookers, their attention solely on one another._

_The man said something and the woman threw her head back and laughed. Tooru had always found the woman pretty. She reminded him of one of the actresses that starred in the dramas his mother enjoyed watching. Her husband was nice enough, Tooru supposed. When the couple had moved in, his mother had invited them over for dinner. Their names escaped him. At the time of the dinner, Tooru had been upset because Takumi had beat him, once again, at Mario Kart, and he hated to lose._

_His father constantly told him that that kind of behavior was unbecoming of him. That was rich coming from a man who stayed out all night doing God knows what. Those had been Takumi's words that he'd spoken to Tooru and only Tooru. He'd been warned not to repeat anything that Takumi had said during his many rants. Tooru may have been a brat but he'd never betray Takumi, no matter how upset he got at his brother for always winning at everything they played._

_"Hajime," the woman shouted, playfully hitting her husband's chest, "Not out here!"_

_The man, Hajime, whispered something in the woman's ear, his large hand coming out of the water to squeeze one of her breasts. She threw her head back again but this time to let out a strange sound. Hajime was doing something to her under the water that Tooru couldn't make out. Whatever it was, it had the woman crying out her husband's name._

_Hajime kissed her on the mouth muffling her cries. Then he kissed her neck. Tooru knew that he should have walked away, that this was something that he wasn't supposed to see but he couldn't tear his eyes away._ _His heart raced in his chest, an unfamiliar feeling overtaking him, causing him to shift uncomfortably. Feeling overheated, Tooru pulled at the collar of his hoodie thinking it'd relieve the sudden heat that'd overcome him but the feeling of his fingertips touching his bare collarbone only made him hotter._

_At that exact moment, Hajime's eyes opened and he looked directly at Tooru, green eyes glistening. The boy stumbled back, nearly tripping over his own feet. He didn't wait to see if Hajime had indeed noticed him watching them or not. Instead, he ran away without looking back._

_Days passed. Tooru hadn't dared to mention the incident to anyone, not his best friend Matsukawa Issei, and definitely not to Takumi. He kept it bottled up inside along with the weird sensation he felt anytime he thought back to that night. He'd tried to forget about it altogether but something like that was hard for a boy of thirteen to forget._

_Tooru was on his way home from school one day when he saw his neighbor again. The woman wasn't around but the man was checking his mail when Tooru walked by. Ducking his head, Tooru tried to make himself unnoticed, fearing that if the man saw him he'd confront him about his snooping the other night. He was almost in the clear when the man turned to face him._

_"Hey!"_

_Tooru squeaked quietly, his heart hammering against his chest. When he turned around, Hajime was standing in front of him a blank expression on his face. He expected the man to start yelling at him but then Hajime's face softened._

_"That's the uniform for_ _Kitagawa Daiichi, isn't it?" asked Hajime._

_That wasn't what Tooru had been expecting. Shifting slightly, he tightened his grip on the straps of his backpack. "Yes," he said, nodding his head slowly._

_"The uniforms haven't changed at all. You know, I used to go there."_

_Older people loved doing this. Tooru had never understood why that was, and it'd always annoyed him. When Hajime and his wife had been over for dinner, Tooru hadn't paid much attention to the couple, especially not the husband. So, this was his first time actually looking at Hajime. He'd expected something different._

_Hajime chuckled sheepishly revealing pearly white teeth. "Ah, I'm sure you don't care about that." He scratched the back of his neck, the movement bringing attention to his large bicep._

_The size of the man's arm was startling. He looked like he could squash Tooru's head if he wanted to. What exactly did Hajime do for a living? Tooru found himself genuinely curious now._

_"Today was my first day," Tooru told the man for no reason at all._

_Nostalgia overtook Hajime's expression. "Planning on trying out for any sports?"_

_Just that morning Tooru had been approached by the track and head coach. The man was ecstatic to have another Oikawa at the institution, and Tooru was excited to follow in his brother's footsteps, if only because it was what everyone expected out of him. Tooru enjoyed running; he was fast for someone with such bony legs. But it wasn't something he felt like doing all the time._

_"I'm trying out for the track team."_

_"Following in your older brother's footsteps," Hajime said knowingly. Crossing his arms over his chest, he gave Tooru a look. "I hear your brother is one of the fastest runners in the district."_

_Pride filled the young boy's chest. "He is!" he exclaimed, nodding his head vehemently, "Nii-chan, was featured in a sports magazine! He had two full pages!" He raised his hand to add emphasis._

_Chuckling, Hajime dropped his hands to his side, fighting the urge to ruffle the boy's hair. "Yeah, I saw it. I'm sure you'll be in there one day, too."_

_It wasn't that Tooru wasn't accustomed to hearing things like that. People had high hopes for him just because of who his brother was. However, hearing it from Hajime was different. The man genuinely thought that Tooru- a kid he barely knew- would land a spot in a sports magazine. What made Hajime so sure about that?_

_"Tooru!"_

_Turning around, Tooru saw Takumi jogging toward them. His older brother was wearing his white and teal team jacket over his school uniform. Unlike the other club jackets, the track and field jackets fit more snuggly which did nothing to hide Takumi's firm physique. Tooru had overheard enough conversations to know that people thought his brother was not only talented but very attractive, as well. Even the girls at his school giggled overly the possibility of Takumi noticing them._

_Tooru wondered if it'd be like that for him one day. He hoped that he'd hurry up and grow out of his awkward limbs already._

_"Iwaizumi-san," Takumi greeted with a bow. Then, he looked at his brother. "I thought I told you to wait for me after school."_

_"I'm old enough to walk home by myself," he argued._

_Takumi snorted. "Old enough? You still have to sleep with a nightlight-"_

_"Nii-chan!" Tooru shouted, ears burning with embarrassment._

_Hajime laughed and Tooru felt like he was going to explode. Thankfully, the attention was momentarily taken off of him. Takumi and Hajime fell into an easy conversation about sports. It surprised Tooru that Takumi was being this social with their neighbor. It was as if the two had chatted before. How was his brother so familiar with this man? Tooru felt irrationally jealous all of a sudden. But he couldn't tell who he was jealous of._

_"Karasuno's track team is pretty decent," Hajime said, "They may give you a run for your money."_

_Takumi sucked his teeth, his shoulders squaring confidently. "They could go for broke and still not come close to beating us."_

_Hajime noted how Takumi said "us" and not "me". There was nothing more admirable than a team player. The older man smiled at Takumi, and briefly, Tooru felt a pang of envy because he wanted that smile to be aimed at him. He wanted someone to look proud of him the way Hajime seemed so proud of Takumi. His own father had never looked at him like that._

_"Good luck out there," Hajime said, patting Takumi on the shoulder. Then he looked to Tooru. "Good luck to the both of you."_

_Takumi and Tooru bowed. "Thank you," said Takumi, "Good luck to you, as well!"_

_When they were walking home, Tooru asked his brother what Iwaizumi-san did for a living._

_"Iwaizumi Hajime is the Ace of Japan."_

_"The Ace of Japan?"_

_Shaking his head, Takumi folded his hands behind his head while he walked. "You're always so wrapped up in those weird space shows that you don't even know who our neighbor is. Iwaizumi-san is the captain of the national volleyball team. He's also the Ace."_

_Ignoring the jab about his favorite television series, Tooru tilted his head to the side, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "The Ace?" he asked._

_"Wing Spiker."  
_

_Tooru pretended to know what that meant. But that night after dinner, Tooru spent a majority of his designated time on the computer researching Iwaizumi Hajime, Wing Spikers, and volleyball in general. When his mother told him that it was time to get ready for bed, he was in the middle of watching an old volleyball match of Japan going against Seoul. He found himself enthralled by the various plays. Unlike running, where there was one goal in mind, volleyball offered several outlets - several opportunities for every player to have a spot in the limelight._

_This was what Tooru wanted. Takumi could have track and field. Tooru wanted to play volleyball._

* * *

"As expected, she orders the most expensive thing on the menu," Matsukawa said, regaling his friends with the story of his first date, "Mind you, my dad had only given me 3300 yen for the date. Her meal alone was a little over 2000 yen."

Hanamaki Takahiro, another close friend of Tooru's, pulled a face. "Damn! Did you get a chance to eat anything?" he snickered.

"I had to get a water and an appetizer. She didn't even kiss me when I dropped her off at her front door!"

Tooru and Hanamaki laughed in unison. The former reaching up to pat Matsukawa on the back, feigning sympathy. "Poor, Mattsun. Though, you're the one who's always complaining about not having a girlfriend." He ducked out of the way when Matsukawa swung his gym bag at him.

"All girls aren't golddiggers." Matsukawa touched his chin thoughtfully. "Wait, I think they might be." He looked to Tooru. "You're the one who gets a new confession every day. You tell us. Are all girls golddiggers?" He held his hand out like he was extending a microphone.

Dramatically, Tooru tapped the invisible mic and cleared his throat. "In my experience, girls expect you to pay for everything but only because it's expected out of the man. As far as them being golddiggers... I think you just have crappy luck."

Groaning dryly, Matsukawa covered his face with his hands. "I give up. Girls are way too much trouble."

"You're just cheap," Hanamaki snorted.

Matsukawa neither agreed nor did he disagree with the statement. It was pointless seeing that his friends knew him well enough to know that the statement was very true. The three teens had just left the recreational center where they'd played a game of volleyball with other kids in their neighborhood. Things had gotten really exciting when a kid from another district had joined the game.

"That Kuroo kid lives all the way in Tokyo," said Hanamaki, they were almost on Tooru's street, "What was he doing there?"

Tooru shrugged. "Maybe he's visiting a relative for the break." He thought back to the tall, lanky teen who'd nearly blocked all of his spikes. "Why didn't I think to get his contact info? Think about all the practice we can get in with him!"

"I'm not playing with him again." Matsukawa crossed his long arms over his chest, his droopy eyes lowering to slits. "He's sneaky like...like a cat."

"Well, he is Nekoma's captain," Hanamaki said.

"You're just upset because he read most of our attacks." Tooru was also peeved about that but he only saw it as an opportunity to get better. "It means we're getting predictable. We gotta' work on that."

"Sure thing, Captain," Hanamaki and Matsukawa muttered.

Reaching Tooru's street, the boys walked on the sidewalk, their gym bags in tow as they chatted about a movie that had been recently released. Tooru was interested in seeing the movie but for once he wished that he could go with someone other than his friends. That wasn't to say that he didn't enjoy hanging out with Hanamaki and Matsukawa. It was just that Tooru wanted to go on an actual movie date with someone. Obviously, he wished that that someone was Hajime.

Tooru had yet to talk to his mother about going camping with Hajime. He'd been waiting for the perfect time to ask; the perfect time being whenever his mother was in a good mood. He'd learned that the woman was more likely to say yes if she was in a good mood.

Lately, his mother's mood had been wishy-washy. One moment she was happy and humming around the house while she did chores, and then the next moment she was quietly looking at old wedding photos with a somber expression on her face. His mother was still in love with their father despite everything. Tooru had always heard that love could be as damaging as it was fulfilling.

"I hope I look that shredded when I'm forty," Matsukawa whispered, nodding his head toward Hajime who was dressed in red jogging shorts with black leggings underneath.

The older man looked as though he'd just returned from a run around the neighborhood. The sleeveless red shirt he was wearing clung to him like a second skin, accentuating his solid form. His arms and neck glistened with sweat, giving his tan skin a faint glow. Tooru's throat immediately went dry at the sight. He would die right there if his body betrayed him in front of his friends.

Hanamaki lightly slapped Matsukawa on the back of the head. "He's only thirty-five," he whispered, "Show some respect for the former Ace of Japan."

"Actually, he's thirty-three," Tooru corrected.

"You would know," Matsukawa replied snidely.

Before Tooru could ask Matsukawa what he'd meant by that, Hajime spotted them. Tooru tried his best to act naturally; to act like he wasn't running into the man of his dreams. He'd gone this long without his friend discovering his infatuation with Hajime and he'd like to keep it that way.

"Hello," Hajime greeted the trio with a pleasant smile.

"How's it going, Iwaizumi-san?" asked Hanamaki, speaking with an easy familiarity that made Tooru's hairs stand on end.

Hajime used the small towel around his neck to wipe the sweat from his brow. "It's going well. I see I'm not the only one who's been working out this morning."

"Yeah, we just left the rec center," Matsukawa chimed in before Tooru could say a word, "You should have seen it. We put a hurtin' on some newbies from Tohoku."

"Oh really?" asked Hajime, his interest naturally piqued at the mention of volleyball.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa went into a detailed spiel about their earlier match, and Hajime listened with apt interest. Every time Tooru tried to add to the conversation, his friends talked over him. It was as if they were trying to fight for Hajime's attention. Tooru could barely contain his jealousy. Anytime Hajime's eyes weren't on him, he felt ignored like he didn't exist at all. And as immature as it sounded, Tooru couldn't help it; he always wanted Hajime's attention solely on him. The conversation continued. Tooru had his arms crossed over his chest and his lip on the brink of a pout. Hanamaki made an offhanded comment about Hajime still being in top shape, and it almost seemed like his friend was flirting with the older man.

Tooru could feel his entire mood dropping.

"What about you, Tooru-kun?" Hajime's eyes were watching Tooru's face closely. It was as if the man could sense how the boy felt. "Did you wow the newbies with your infamous serve?"

Hajime had never seen his infamous serve. Well, not in person, anyway. Though the man was giving him an opportunity to speak and that alone was enough to dispel any negative thoughts. It made Tooru feel like Hajime was genuinely interested in hearing him talk.

"I prefer to use that for special occasions," Tooru boasted, falling easily into his role as the arrogant brat everyone knew him to be, "Like when the cameras are rolling!"

Hanamaki and Matsukawa rolled their eyes.

"You're such a show off," Matsukawa muttered.

Hanamaki added, "Your head is so big, we should start using it as a volleyball."

While his friends laughed and continued to tease him, Tooru's face heated up. Why did they have to do this in front of Hajime of all people? Sparing a glance to the man, Tooru expected to see Hajime laughing as well. Instead, the man was looking at him with that strange look again. It was difficult for Tooru to describe the look. He just knew that whenever Hajime looked at him like that it made him feel warm. Not to confuse that with the sensation he felt when he was aroused. This feeling was different; it was pure.

"I'm hungry." Matsukawa patted his stomach. "Oikawa, do you think your mom will whip up something for us?"

Tooru reluctantly pulled his eyes away from Hajime, looking over to Matsukawa. "You know she'll cook for you if you ask. She likes you both way more than me."

"I won't hold you boys up any longer then," Hajime said, "It was nice seeing you all." He waved at them and then walked to his house.

All three of them watched him leave. Hanamaki was the first to break the silence. "If I were gay I'd be so into him," he said.

Matsukawa added a, "Yeah, me too."

Then they walked off toward Tooru's house as if they hadn't just said what they'd said. It wasn't the first time his friends had made comments like that but Tooru was certain that Matsukawa and Hanamaki were straight. To be on the safe side, he'd never opened up to them about his preference for men and women, figuring it was something that'd be better off kept secret.

The last thing Tooru wanted was for his teammates to look at him differently. He didn't need anyone thinking that he wanted to bone them simply because they had a dick or any of his teammates not wanting to shower around him. Yeah, Tooru was gay but he'd honestly never felt attracted toward any of the boys at his school. Come to think of it, the only man he'd ever shown interest in was Hajime.

Maybe if he would allow himself to be open to other men, then that would change. But he'd been in love with Hajime for so long that he was afraid to know what it felt like to not be in love with him. Tooru would rather be in love with Hajime, in secret, for the rest of his life, than not be in love with the man at all.

It was truly pathetic.

* * *

Although it may not seem like much, Hajime was proud of himself for not having a single drop of alcohol all day. Since Miho moved out he had at least one drink a day to take the edge off. He'd always thought that their separation would leave him shattered. He thought he'd fall into a downward spiral of depression. Neither was the case, thankfully. Instead, Hajime was furious.

The woman he'd devoted himself to for nearly twelve years had cheated on him. Prior to her infidelity, she'd turned her back on Hajime at a time when he'd needed her most. Everything seemed to fall apart after his early retirement from the national team. Being the wife of the _Ace of Japan_ had its perks, and Miho had reveled in the attention she'd obtained off Hajime's fame. When he lost that, things began to change between them. On top of that, Hajime was infertile. Hajime would admit that he wasn't perfect; he had his faults just like the next person. Still, he'd tried his damnedest to be the spouse he'd thought Miho deserved.

Feeling his mood plummeting, Hajime turned off the television. The den seemed sparse without the decorations Miho had picked out when they'd first moved in. Their photos were also no longer lining the walls, making the home seem bleak. He often contemplated moving out for a fresh start. It'd be just what he needed to help himself move on.

But Hajime had always had trouble letting things go. He could live in the same city for the rest of his life without an issue. Miho had always told him that he wasn't outgoing enough, that he was a stick in the mud. And, maybe he was.

Stepping outside, Hajime stuffed his hands in his pockets and took a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling. Movement near the pool caught his attention. Sitting on one of the beach chairs with his chin rested on his bent knees was none other than Tooru. The teen nearly jumped out of his skin at the sight of Hajime, a loud squeal escaping him. Sighing, Hajime stared up at the starless sky.

He had lost count of the number of times he'd caught Tooru hanging around his pool at night. As strange as it was, he'd never thought to mention it to the boy's mother. It wasn't like Tooru was vandalizing anything or being disruptive. He only got on to Tooru about it because he'd never wanted Miho to see him and get the wrong idea. But Miho was no longer there. 

Dragging his hands through his short hair, Hajime walked to where Tooru was seated. "How many times do I have to tell you to stop trespassing, Tooru-kun?"

Tooru, who would've normally jumped at the chance to defend his actions, didn't say anything. His earlier shock quickly vanished. He lowered his head and stared at his folded hands in his lap. So, it was going to be one of those things tonight, Hajime thought, In the past, Hajime had a few run-ins with Tooru's somber moods that occurred once every blue moon; or at least he thought. The last time Tooru had been like this, it was the day his brother had moved to Osaka. That had been two years ago.

"What is it this time?" asked Hajime, getting straight to the point. "Is it volleyball related?"

Tooru sucked his teeth. "Do you think all of my problems are volleyball related?" he snapped.

Well, yeah. Ninety-three percent of all Tooru's problems were indeed volleyball related. Hajime kept that thought to himself, though. "Then, what's the problem?"

"Nothing. I just couldn't sleep."

"It's only a quarter to nine. I doubt you were even sleeping, to begin with." Hajime wasn't in the mood to try to pry answers out of the teen. "Look, if you don't want to tell me, you don't have to but you have to go back home by 9:30."

Frowning, Tooru finally lifted his head. "My curfew is at 10." He tilted his head up, staring at Hajime with a haughty expression. "And sometimes my mom lets me stay out until 11!"

Hajime smirked. "Wow, look at you," he snorted.

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Nope." Maybe he was. "Does your mom even know where you are right now?"

Tooru sighed deeply. "I'm not a kid anymore. She doesn't need to know my every move."

"You're still considered a kid in my book. At least until you're eighteen." 

"What's the difference between 17 and 18?" he asked.

There were a lot of differences but Hajime knew that wasn't what Tooru was asking him. When Hajime was seventeen, his parents had treated him as though he were older due to his maturity level. He was granted more privileges than the kids his age. Still, there were certain things that he couldn't legally do. But just because the law said that a person wasn't able to make mindful decisions at a certain age, didn't mean that was always the case. Hajime felt wrong telling Tooru that, though. The last thing he wanted to do was unintentionally influence Tooru's way of thinking. He knew how impressionable young people could be.

"There's a big difference," Hajime eventually said, "Your perception can change in a matter of months. Imagine how much it could change in a year."

Tooru seemed to let Hajime's words sink in. The teen was intelligent enough to know when he was being fed bullshit or not. He must have decided that what Hajime had told him was somewhat truthful. His face relaxed into a neutral expression. "I've been in love with someone for a while now. Do you think I can be over them in a year?" he asked, keeping his eyes downcast.

That was definitely not what Hajime had been expecting. "Oh," he muttered lamely, scratching the side of his face sheepishly, "I'm not sure. Do you want to be over them?"

"No, not really." Tooru's lips quirked faintly. "I don't mind being in love with them. I just wished they loved me back, you know?"

"Have you ever told them how you feel?"

Shaking his head, Tooru bit his lower lip. "I doubt they even notice me."

Hajime found that hard to believe. Who could not notice Tooru? Of course, the boy had his undesirable traits, but it was natural for a person to have faults. There was just so much about Tooru that anyone would find pleasant.

"Why do you think that?" asked Hajime, keeping his opinions to himself.

Tooru smiled fondly. "They're perfect," he said, and it sounded like he meant it, "Everything about them is perfection. I don't even think I'm good enough for them but a small part of me thinks I may have a chance..."

While Hajime listened to Tooru talk about his anonymous crush, he couldn't help but think back to how he'd felt when he'd first started dating Miho. Young, fresh love was truly a beautiful and exciting thing. The way Tooru spoke of this person, made Hajime feel slightly jealous. He missed being that important to someone. After what happened with Miho, Hajime wondered if she'd ever felt that way about him at all. He doubted it. All this time, he'd thought he knew what love was but maybe he'd been wrong. 

"...we're soulmates," Tooru said, his head no longer lowered. He stared at Hajime so intensely that for a brief, minuscule moment, the older man felt as though the boy's adoration was aimed at him. "Or at least, I hope we are..."

That couldn't be. Tooru wasn't infatuated with a thirty-something, washed-up athlete. Hajime wouldn't even allow the thought to persist. He dismissed it just as soon as it had appeared. 

"Wow," Hajime said once Tooru finished, "Sure you want to keep all those feelings bottled up? You never know, they might love you just as much."

" _Might_." Tooru pointed out. "There's also a chance that they don't like me at all." Tooru's eyes were watery now. All it took was for the boy to blink for the floodgates to open. He hurriedly wiped his face.

Hajime leaned over to comfort Tooru but he stopped himself. He'd always sucked at comforting people. "I'll go get you some Kleenex," he said, giving Tooru a reassuring pat on the shoulder, "Don't leave, okay. I won't be long," he promised.

Tooru nodded his head and buried his face in his hands.

Hurriedly, Hajime walked back inside the house. He had every intention of grabbing the Kleenex and getting back to Tooru as soon as possible but things didn't work out that way. He was almost in the guest bathroom when he heard the front door opening. Fuck, he really needed to get the locks changed already. 

Before the door was pushed open, Hajime knew who to expect. Only one other person had a key to his house. Slowly, he walked out into the foyer, his expression stern.

"What in the fuck are you doing here, Miho?"

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's left a comment, kudo, or bookmarked! I know that the whole "age difference" thing is off-putting but thanks for giving the story a chance. I have a lot planned for the plot. Flashbacks will be happening often so everyone can see why Tooru loves Hajime so much. It's more than just a childish crush, I assure you! This was my first time incorporating a flashback so please let me know what you think of that and the story so far! (Chapter titles are Cigarettes After Sex song titles) 
> 
> Until next time! 
> 
> -Cel


	4. Flash

“You shouldn’t be here,” Hajime said, his stocky frame blocking the woman’s view past the foyer.

Rolling her eyes, Miho pushed past Hajime, bumping his arm harder than necessary, and headed for the stairs. “I’m just here to pick up a few things. Go back to whatever the hell you were doing before I came. I won’t be long.”

“Everything that belongs to you is in the hall closet downstairs.” His words were harsh yet contained.

It took everything in Hajime not to blow up; not to raise his voice, and demand her to get out of his house and never come back. But he had to constantly remind himself that regardless of how he painted the situation, to the authorities, he would look like the abuser in their relationship.

No one ever believed that Miho was capable of the things she had done to him in the past. Not beautiful and intelligent Miho with her small frame and delicate face.

The mental and physical abuse he’d endured from that woman would be scoffed at by his colleagues, ridiculed by his peers, and deemed divine punishment by the women he’d hurt during his early university years. Hajime never mentioned it to anyone, not even his attorney.

Miho halted her steps. She turned around but remained on the staircase, looking down on Hajime. “You didn’t waste any time, did you?” Slowly, she made her way down the staircase, taking the steps one by one, her arms crossed over her petite torso. “That eager to have me out of your life, Hajime?”

The tone she was using was meant to evoke pity but Hajime knew better than that. As much as he hated the sight of her, the thought of physically hurting Miho never sat right with him. Instead, Hajime just endured it. The most he could do now was stand his ground.

“You made your decisions,” he reminded her, “Now deal with them.”

Hajime walked over to the closet, opening the door to reveal several packed boxes secured with duct tape. Everything that belonged to Miho, from her razor to the half-empty container of shampoo she loved, was packed into those boxes.

“It was a mistake, Hajime.”

“How do you fuck someone else by mistake?” Hajime laughed dryly. “I’m going to need your key back before you go.”

Miho’s heels could be heard tapping on the hardwood floor as she approached Hajime. “Look, I’m sorry for cheating on you and I know that I hurt you. But don’t you think a divorce is going too far?”

Hajime picked up the first box he saw. Turning around he faced Miho. “It’s not just the cheating. Had you came to me with a guilty heart, we could have worked through it.” He shoved the box into the woman’s unexpecting arms, uncaring of her inability to hold it on her own. “You gave up on our marriage after my injury. I went through physical therapy on my own! You turned your back on me when I needed you!”

The box was thrown to the floor, Miho’s hands coming up as her facade dropped. “Boo-fucking-hoo!” she shouted angrily, “You’re the idiot who fucked up their shoulder! You ruined my dreams, Hajime! I wanted to be married to the Ace of Japan, not a fucking handicap!”

“Listen to yourself!” Iwaizumi took a cautious step back to avoid Miho’s swinging hands. “Do you hear how fucking selfish and delusional you sound?!”

“Oh, I’m the delusional one?” Miho laughed, “Did you really think I’d want to stay with you when you couldn’t give me the life I wanted or give me children? Those are two fundamental things that men provide and you couldn’t even give me that!”

Miho always had a way of making Hajime feel small, insignificant. Her words sliced through his injured pride, destroying whatever fragment of self-esteem he had left.

“Get the fuck out,” Hajime said, voice broken and defeated.

Sensing her victory, Miho leaned in for the kill. “I won’t be signing those divorce papers any time soon, Hajime. We’re going to be doing things my way from now on.”

“Iwaizumi-san asked you to leave!”

Miho whipped her head around to the sound of the voice. “Takumi-kun?” She looked back to Hajime. “What is the neighbor’s kid doing here this late?”

Tooru was a vision of fury. His face was red and his eyes wet with angry tears. “Wrong brother,” he told Miho, “You shouldn’t be here!”

Miho narrowed her eyes at Tooru, her nostrils flaring. “I think you should scurry along now. I’m sure it’s past your bedtime and you have no place in me and my husband’s affairs.”

“Ex-husband!” Tooru corrected.

“Why, you little-”

Iwaizumi stepped in between Miho and Tooru. Something about Tooru being in any kind of danger gave him the courage that he needed to stand up to Miho.

“He’s right,” Hajime said, looking the woman dead in the eye, “You shouldn’t be here. Regardless of what you say, you and I are done, Miho. I’ll send your stuff over to your sister’s place.”

Miho frowned. “You can’t kick me out of my own house!”

“Actually, I can.” Hajime took Miho by the elbow and escorted her toward the door. “This house has always been in my name. I’ve only allowed you to live here. Your invitation has been revoked indefinitely. If you show up here again, I’ll call the authorities!”

Once they were at the door, Hajime took the set of keys out of Miho’s hand. The woman was so stunned by his actions that she didn’t even struggle him when he opened the front door, lightly shoved her over the threshold, and then slammed the door behind her, locking it.

With Miho out of the house, the invisible pressure around Hajime’s heart vanished. Sighing, he rested his head against the door, momentarily forgetting that he wasn’t alone.

“Iwaizumi-san?”

“You shouldn’t have intervened like that, Tooru-kun.”

Tooru slowly walked closer to where Hajime was near the door. “I didn’t like how she was talking to you,” he said quietly, “She had no right.”

Hajime could hear the anger in Tooru’s voice. He turned around, and he could see it too. “How much did you hear?” he asked, feeling oddly embarrassed all of sudden.

“I heard enough.”

“I see.” Hajime moved away from the door. “You shouldn’t have had to hear any of that. I’m sorry.”

Tooru didn’t say anything. He simply took another step toward Hajime until they were within arm’s reach of each other. Hajime’s breath hitched when Tooru suddenly wrapped his arms around his torso, hugging him tightly.

“Tooru-kun?”

“Why does she treat you like that?” Tooru asked, voice coming out muffled from how his mouth was pressed to Hajime’s chest. “You don’t deserve it.”

Hajime was stunned, to say the least. This went beyond their relationship as neighbors but despite that Hajime didn’t pull away. There was something comforting about having Tooru there after the way Hurricane Miho had come through, disrupting the little bit of peace he had. Honestly, Hajime didn’t want to let Tooru go but he knew he had to.

Allowing the hug to persist for a few more moments, Hajime lightly sniffed Oikawa’s hair and bumped his chin against the top of the boy’s head to see if the brown tufts of hair were as soft as they looked. For a split second, he thought of combing his fingers through Tooru’s hair, maybe he would allow his hand to linger and then eventually lower to gently cup Tooru’s face.

How would Tooru react to the sudden display of affection? Would he pull away or stand there, unsure of what to do?

“You should head home,” Hajime said, carefully removing Tooru’s arms from around his waist, and taking a step back, “Don’t want you to worry your mother.” And he didn’t want his thoughts to continue to get away from him.

Tooru sighed, “My curfew really only applies for when school is in session.”

“Even still-”

“Do you want to know what I do whenever I need to blow off some steam?”

It wasn’t until then that Hajime realized that his fists have been balled up this entire time, even when Tooru had been embracing him. He was so pissed off that he just wanted Tooru to leave as soon as possible so he could take his anger out on one of the walls, use it as his punching bag, or he could destroy all the stuff he had packed in the boxes for Miho.

Tooru didn’t wait for an answer. “I go to the gym and spike volleyballs until my limbs are numb,” he said.

That actually sounded helpful.

Unfortunately. “The rec center is closed.”

Patting his back pocket, Tooru took out a lanyard with a single key hooked to it. “Lucky for you, I’m the captain of the volleyball club.” He smiled smugly.

Hajime weighed his options. He could stay at home, put a few holes in the wall, drink himself to sleep, and regret his decisions in the morning or he could smack some volleyballs around the gym of his alma mater with his teenage neighbor.

“Let me go change real quick,” Hajime said.

* * *

 _“I want to try out for volleyball,” Tooru announced at the dinner table the night prior to his track club tryouts, he’d been holding it in, afraid of the disapproval he was sure to receive,_ but his _small body couldn’t keep it in any longer._

_This was what he wanted and the first step to getting there was getting his parents - mainly his father- to pay for the application fee and give his consent for Tooru to try-out. The only problem was, his father was dead set on Tooru following in his older brother’s footsteps._

_“Volleyball?” Tooru’s mother asked, a pleasant yet curious smile on her face, “I thought you were going to run track_ _like Takumi.”_

_Tooru knew that he’d have to say everything he needed to say in one go or he’d miss his chance. “I did but now I want to play volleyball! Tryouts are tomorrow. All I need is a parent or guardian signature and 3100 yen for my club fees! Tryouts are right after class so I won’t be home too late!” He took a deep breath._

_The table was silent._

_Then, his father spoke. “Do you even know how to play volleyball?” he asked, without looking up from his dinner._

_“I know the basics,” Tooru quickly replied, “but there’s still more I can learn.”_

_“You should just stick to track since the coaches are going to give you a spot in the club anyway thanks to your brother.”_

_Lowering his head, Tooru bit his lip. “I don’t want to run track,” he spoke quietly, yet loud enough to be heard, “I want to play volleyball.”_

_Before his father’s infamous temper could rear its ugly head, Takumi piped in, “Tooru does have the basics of volleyball down, and they’re not gonna expect him to be the next Ace of Japan or anything,” he laughed, reaching out to ruffle his younger brother’s hair, “They’re looking for potential and Tooru has that.”_

_“Ace of Japan?” Their father finally lifted his head, a scowl on his face. “I hear that fellow is a queer. His own teammates don’t like to shower around him.”_

_“Hayata,” Tooru’s mother scolded, “Iwaizumi-san and his wife are good people!”_

_Hayata waved his wife off, his attention focused on Tooru. “You’re going to run track and that’s the end of it.” He paused. “And pick your face up! You can’t cry like a girl whenever you don’t get your way!”_

_Tooru wiped away his tears and straightened up in his seat. His mother quickly changed the subject and dinner continued without another mention of volleyball._

_-0-_

_Following dinner, Tooru sat on the floor of Takumi’s bedroom, quietly watching as his brother punched his pillow repeatedly and cursed their father under his breath. This had become a ritual of theirs as of late. Despite how often Hayata bragged about Takumi and doted on his eldest son, Takumi hated his guts for how he treated their mother and most of all Tooru._

_A few minutes of silence passed after Takumi’s tantrum when Tooru deemed it safe to ask the question that had been on the tip of his tongue this entire time._

_“Takumi?”_

_“Yeah, Tooru?”_

_“What’s a queer?”_

_Takumi shifted uncomfortably on his bed. “Oh, that? Don’t listen to Dad, Tooru.” He sucked his teeth. “He’s a tool.”_

_While Tooru agreed with that, he still wanted to know what his father had meant when he said that Iwaizumi-san’s teammates didn’t like to take showers around him. Was there something strange about Iwaizumi-san?_

_“Is it a bad thing?” Tooru asked, “Being a queer?”_

_“Well, I guess it depends on who you ask.”_

_“What does it mean?”_

_Takumi scratched the back of his head, the gears inside his mind turning as he thought of how to explain the term to his younger brother._

_“Queer means to be different,” he started, “It’s not always a bad thing to be different but it’s not always a good thing either, I guess. When Dad called Iwaizumi-san queer he was talking about an article that was in the tabloids at the start of Iwaizumi-san’s career.”_

_“What did the article say?”_

_“It said that the Ace of Japan was gay, meaning he likes guys.”_

_That was the first time Tooru had ever heard of a man liking another man. It confused him because how was that possible if Iwaizumi-san was married to a woman? And, why was it considered a bad thing that Iwaizumi-san liked men, anyway?_

_Takumi laid on his stomach, his head hanging over the side of his bed. “It was just a lie someone told to ruin Iwaizumi-san’s reputation,” he said reassuringly, “Dad’s just one of those idiots who believe everything they read in the paper.”_

_Tooru giggled._

_“Plus, have you seen his wife?” Takumi sighed dreamily. “She’s so hot. There’s no way that guy is gay.”_

_At the mention of Iwaizumi-san’s wife, Tooru thought back to that night he’d saw the couple in the pool. He always thought about it whenever he was alone in bed at night or taking a bath. Most boys his age would have been focused on the glimpse of breast he’d saw but Tooru kept thinking about how intense Iwaizumi-san’s eyes had been when he’d looked in his direction. Other times, the times he was too embarrassed to even think about, he thought of Iwaizumi-san’s large hands touching him in the places the man had touched his wife in the pool._

_“You know.” Takumi’s voice thankfully yanked Tooru out of his disturbing thoughts. “Running track this year won’t be so bad.” Before Tooru could pout, he continued. “Run track this year and then over the summer I can get a job so I can pay for your volleyball club fees next year. This will also give me enough time to learn how to forge Dad’s signature.”_

_Tooru’s face brightened. Jumping up on his knees, he circled his arms around his brother’s neck and hugged him._

_-0-_

_Although Tooru was grateful for Takumi’s master plan of getting him into the volleyball club next year, he was still hurt over his father’s blatant disregard for his change of interest. People changed their mind all of the time. His father was the same man who could never make up his mind about where the family would take their annual vacation. He was always changing it at the last minute and no one ever gave him any fuss about it. So why couldn't Tooru change his mind about the sport he wanted to play?_

_Tooru was lying in bed, glaring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling when he heard a light tap on his door. Shortly after, the door was being pushed opened, his mother poking her head in._

_“Tooru, are you awake?”_

_“Yes.”_

_His mother slipped into the bedroom, closing the door softly. Without a word, she hurriedly walked up to his bed. Reaching it, she took out a white envelope. “You take this directly to the volleyball coach,” she whispered, “I wrote a letter giving you my consent to try out for the club and your fees are in there, as well.”_

_Tooru couldn’t believe his ears._

_Smiling, his mother leaned over and kissed him on the temple. “Good luck, Tooru. I’ll be rooting for you.” She kneeled down to place the envelope into the navy blue backpack that sat against the bedside table._

_“What about, father?” he asked._

_“You let me worry about your father.” She stood up, patted him on the head, and kissed him on the cheek. “Get your rest. You have a big day tomorrow.”_

_Tooru watched his mother walk toward the door. “Mom, I love you,” he said, face warm and eyes stinging with tears._

_“I love you too, Tooru.”_

_It took Tooru a long time to fall asleep that night because he was so excited about tryouts the next day._

-0-

_“I made the team!” Tooru exclaimed as he reached his street, his feet swiftly carrying him to his home. His father wouldn’t be home for another two hours so he could make the announcement to his mother and brother with no interruption. “I made the team!”_

_Squeezing his eyes shut, he squealed with glee, the praise he’d received from the head coach replaying over and over inside his head. Finally, he had something that only he was good at. His father could keep stupid fishing, and Takumi could be the fastest man in the world if he wanted._

_Tooru was going to play volleyball, and he was going to be great at it._

_In his excitement, Tooru completely forgot about the importance of being fully alert whenever he was running on the sidewalk. He opened his eyes just in time to catch a glimpse of the solid form he was running into._

_“Hey, watch where you’re going!” Hajime yelled, reaching out to grab Tooru by the elbow, “You’re gonna’ hurt yourself!” he scolded._

_Feeling ashamed of his recklessness, Tooru profusely apologized. “Sorry, I was just really...excited._ _I um...got some good news.” He looked everywhere except the older man’s eyes._

_Hajime helped Tooru stand to his feet, and then he let the boy’s elbow go. “Good news, huh?” he asked, “Did you do good at the track club tryouts?”_

_Tooru’s eyes widened, his heartbeat quickened. Hajime had remembered their conversation from the other day? Why would his next door neighbor remember something so insignificant when his own father couldn’t remember the important things about him?_

_Shaking his head, Tooru, handed over the crumpled form in his hand. “No, I didn’t try out for the track club,” he said._

_Taking the form, Hajime read over it. When his eyes landed on the magic word, a wide grin spread across his face. “You decided to do volleyball instead. That’s great, Tooru-kun!” He laughed sheepishly. “Not because I play volleyball or anything but because it’s good that you’re going to do your own thing.”_

_“My own thing?”_

_“Yeah, I figured you’d want to step from out of your brother’s shadow.”_

_Tooru couldn’t contain his excitement. “Coach said that I was a natural!” he exclaimed, “I never played before but I watched a lot of matches and studied the players’ movements! Coach said that with my keen eye, I could probably be a setter! Setters are like the conductors. They...they direct the performance of the game so they’re really important and…” Realizing how much he’d babbled, Tooru snapped his mouth shut._

_Hajime chuckled; he seemed unfazed by Tooru’s diarrhea of the mouth. “That’s right! Setters are very important to the team! It’s amazing that you learned so much just from watching videos but you’ll need to practice your tosses, too.”_

_“It’d be easier if I had a volleyball.” He shrugged. “I can just practice with the team!”_

_“Every volleyball player needs their own ball.” Hajime handed Tooru back his club form. “Wait right here a minute. I’ll be back.”_

_Of course, Tooru didn’t know it then but he would have waited there for Hajime for as long as he’d needed to, maybe longer. He was already dreading the end of their conversation and the moment when they would have to go their separate ways. In his adolescent mind, the pull he felt toward Hajime then was nothing more than pure idolization._

_Hajime didn’t keep Tooru wanting long. He stepped out of his house carrying a volleyball with blue, yellow, and white stripes on it._

_“Congrats on making the team,” Hajime said, tossing the ball to Tooru._

_Tooru easily caught the ball, allowing his club form to fall to the ground, forgotten. Staring at the ball in awe, he thanked Hajime._

_“You’re welcome, Tooru-kun.”_

_Hugging the ball close to his chest, Tooru smiled up at Hajime. “Maybe one day I’ll be good enough to set to the Ace of Japan!”_

_Hajime smiled. “We’ll see.”_

* * *

Naturally, Tooru thought about that time he’d tried out for the volleyball club back in junior high on their way to Seijō. His father had been so uninvolved in his life that it took the man nearly two years to notice that Tooru had never been in the track club. By that point, his parents’ marriage had been in shambles so the last thing on his father’s mind had been whatever club his least favorite son had joined.

Luckily for Tooru, things had worked out in his favor. It was Takumi who’d suffered. His brother should have a couple of gold medals under his belt now and he should be working toward more. He shouldn’t be working to provide for his family in the place of a shitty father and husband.

But life just ended up that way.

Inside the gym, Tooru and Hajime quietly went through the task of setting up the net and rolling out the basket of volleyballs. Afterward, Hajime stretched his right shoulder - the one he’d injured during one of the most important games of the season so many years ago - and took in the gym that was familiar yet somehow different.

“When you’re ready,” Tooru said, picking up a ball from the basket.

He’d been waiting on this moment since he was thirteen. Yeah, he wished that he was setting to Hajime under happier circumstances; that Hajime knew how he felt about him, and returned his feelings, but Tooru wasn’t complaining. Just being in one of his favorite places with Hajime was enough.

Hajime took his position in front of the net, shaking his fingers to get the blood pumping. “Don’t hold back on me ‘cause I’m old,” he chuckled.

Tooru grinned. Twirling the ball in his hand, he raised his arms high and angled his wrists before tossing, knowing that was exactly how the older man preferred his tosses. Out of his peripheral, he caught a flash of red and green as the ball shot across the net, hitting the other side of the court with a sound equivalent to a clap of thunder. He wasn’t even sure if Hajime had even lifted his hand, that was how fast the older man was.

Gods, Tooru had to pick up another ball and hurriedly toss it to suppress the growing boner in his pants. But that proved to be counterproductive because once again, Hajime slapped the ball so hard, yet, so precisely.

His filthy mind couldn’t stop thinking about that same hand spanking him on his bare ass as Hajime bent him over and fucked him raw.

Picking up another ball, Tooru closed his eyes and centered his thoughts. This was not the place nor the time. Hajime needed to relieve some stress and Tooru was going to help him do that. Later, he would touch himself and think about all the debauched things he wanted Hajime to do to his virgin ass.

With that out of the way, Tooru put all of his attention and energy into serving.

“I’m a bit rusty,” Hajime had the audacity to say when Tooru picked up the last ball, “but you, Tooru-kun.” He stared at Tooru, mouth hanging open fractionally in awe. “You’re something else. I wish I had a setter like you back in the glory days.”

Tooru almost dropped the ball. “Really?” he asked.

Hajime made a face like he didn’t believe the teen’s shocked reaction is genuine one bit. “You have to know that you’re a brilliant setter.” He moved away from the net and prepared for the last toss.

“Well,” Tooru said, twirling the ball in his hand, trying to calm his nerves, “if we’re throwing out compliments now, then I have to say that you’re pretty remarkable for a handicap, Iwaizumi-san.” He tossed the ball.

Instead of jumping up to spike it, Hajime’s feet were rooted to the floor. The ball flew right past him and he didn’t seem to notice because his eyes were glued to Tooru’s face. Fearing that his compliment had been taken the wrong way, Tooru tried to explain himself but Hajime spoke first.

“Thank you,” he said, voice low and sincere, his eyes glassy.

Hajime looked away but Tooru still caught the tear that rolled down the man’s face. Unable to stand by while Hajime was sad or in pain, Tooru took a step forward.

“No,” Hajime shook his head, laughing a little, “I can’t keep letting myself be comforted by a teenager. It should be the other way around.”

“Do you remember the day my dad left us and Takumi was so angry that he punched his hand through a window? My mom had to take him to the emergency room so I had to sit over at your house.”

Hajime didn’t say anything.

Tooru kept going anyway. “That was one of the worst days of my life,” he said, biting his lip to keep the tears at bay, but the pain was evident in the way his voice trembled, “I...I didn’t understand what was going on and I thought that my father hated me and that he didn’t want to be my father anymore. But you, Iwaizumi-san, you made me feel…”

He couldn't’ find the words to describe how Hajime’s kindness toward him on that day had made a world of difference. Disregarding the man’s earlier resistance, Tooru crossed the short distance between them. He reached out for Hajime but the older man pulled away. Stubbornly, Tooru reached for him again.

“You were always there for me,” Tooru cried, “Let me be here for you now.”

Finally, Hajime gave up. The next time Tooru reached for him, he allowed it, in fact, he fully embraced it. Shamelessly, he put his full weight on the teen, dropping his head to Tooru’s shoulder and sobbed, letting it all out.

And Tooru held him through it all.

* * *

“It’s midnight,” Hajime said, they’d just got back from the gym and were standing on his back patio, the lights around the pool painted Tooru’s skin blue and he couldn’t tear his eyes away, “You should head home.”

“Why are you always trying to send me home?” asked Tooru, his lips turned down at the corners.

Because lately Hajime was starting to notice that Tooru had grown up to be a gorgeous young man, and he didn’t want to misinterpret the way those pretty, brown eyes always stared at him like he was the universe. How, even now, after he’d cried like an infant for nearly an hour, Tooru still looked at him as though he was ready and willing to give Hajime any and everything.

“It doesn’t look good if you’re always here late at night,” Hajime explained patiently.

Tooru seemed to understand that. Hajime thought the boy was going to take his leave but instead, he started to chew on his lower lip and stare at his fiddling hands in what had to be the cutest display Hajime had seen in a while.

“Um, Iwaizumi-san,” Tooru whispered, “Remember when I was telling you about the person I’m in...love with?”

Hajime had almost forgotten about that what with all that happened that night but the mention of it rattled his memory. “Yeah, I remember.” He figured since Tooru had been so helpful toward him tonight he could return the favor. “I really think you should confess your feelings, Tooru-kun. Don’t keep all of that bottled in. I’m sure it’s not easy for you to keep doing that.”

“It’s not easy. Sometimes, I feel like I’m suffocating.”

Hajime knew that feeling all too well. It pained him to know that someone so young was experiencing that. Then again, he knew that age had absolutely nothing to do with heartbreak.

“That’s why I can’t keep it in any longer,” Tooru said, lifting his eyes to meet Iwaizumi’s gaze, “Iwaizumi-san,” he sucked in a breath and exhaled, “I love you.” Once he got over that hill, everything else came pouring out. “You may think that I’m just some kid with a stupid crush but this is real. I’ve loved you since I was fourteen. I wasn’t sure about it until after I watched you play live for the first time. I thought I would stop loving you as I got older but my feelings for you have only gotten stronger!”

“I’m the person you’re in love with?” Hajime asked lamely, his mind completely blank.

Tooru nodded his head. “I know that we can’t be open with our relationship because I’m technically a minor but no one has to know-”

“Our relationship,” Hajime repeated, his head shaking slowly, “Tooru-kun, I think you’re getting ahead of yourself.”

“Are you saying you don’t love me?” Tooru asked, his tone surprisingly calm but his eyes bely that emotion, “Or care about me even a little?” He covered his mouth, muffling a cry. “I thought…”

Hajime needed to take control of the situation, fast. He grabbed Tooru by the arm gently, pulling the teen close, and then he cupped his face, bringing their eyes level. “Listen to me, Tooru-kun,” he spoke slowly, his voice stern, “what you just told me...it’s a lot to process. I understand that you’ve been holding all this in for a long time and it’s been hard but I need you to think about this from a logical perspective.”

“I have thought about it logically. We can be together. You just have to allow it.”

“It’s more than that.” So much more than that. “You can’t be in love with me. We have a sixteen year age gap, and if anyone even suspects that my relationship with you is anything other than platonic I could be arrested.”

“I’m not a child!” Tooru’s eyes were still watery but he was no longer crying. “I’m not stupid enough to think that this will be easy.”

Hajime dropped his hands from Tooru’s face. He still couldn’t believe that they were having this conversation right now. Couldn't believe that all of this time, Tooru had been harboring these feelings for him.  
  
“Tell me you don’t love me,” Tooru demanded, “Tell me that you don’t feel anything for me and I’ll leave. But, if you think that there’s a chance for us, I’ll give you time to think about it. Regardless of what you say, my feelings won’t change.”

Just like a child, Hajime thought. Passionate, impulsive, and impatient.

Although, it was unfair to label Tooru as a child. He was a teenager, an adult in most countries. Tooru was old enough and intelligent enough to make a rational decision. But was he old enough to truly grasp their current situation? Was Tooru mature enough for a relationship with Hajime?

The real question was: Did Hajime even want to have a relationship with Tooru?

Thinking that Tooru was attractive was one thing but a relationship meant commitment; it meant the involvement of intense emotions that were clearly too much for an adult, like Miho, so how would Tooru be any different or better?

“I need time to think about all of this,” Hajime sighed, bringing his hand up to comb his fingers through his short hair.

Tooru averted his gaze from Hajime. “I’m sorry for throwing all of this on you, especially after everything that’s happened tonight. I just wanted you to be aware of my feelings.”

“I encouraged you to be open about your feelings.” Hajime felt like he needed to make this clear. “I’m not angry with you, Tooru-kun, and I promise not to make you wait too long for an answer.”

“How will you get in touch with me?” Tooru shifted nervously, “Should I come by in two days? Is that enough time?” He chewed his lip anxiously.

Gods, Hajime could not believe that this was happening. And, Tooru was acting as if he’d just confessed to a person in his age group and not his thirty-something neighbor.

Well, if what Tooru had said was true, this was more than likely the teen’s first time confessing to anyone. This was obviously very important to Tooru. So, Hajime figured he could at least treat this like more than an inconvenience.

“I can email you,” he said.

Tooru pulled out a small notepad and ink pen from the front pocket of his hoodie so fast that Hajime wondered if he’d imagined it. Quickly, Tooru jotted down his contact information and ripped out the paper. After handing the paper to Hajime, Tooru bowed his head.

“Please, consider returning my feelings,” he said.

Tooru straightened up and hurriedly ran off toward his home. Once Tooru was out of sight, Hajime glanced down at the boy’s neat handwriting, a slow, easy smile spreading across his face when he noticed the small heart Tooru drew by his name.

“Cute,” Hajime whispered.

Then, he let out a deep sigh and shoved the paper into his pocket. First, he was going to search the cupboards for hard liquor, and then he was going to sort through his feelings for Tooru.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has really grown on me. I wasn't sure if I was going to complete it or not but I've decided to see it all the way through to the end. If you enjoyed this chapter, please let me know <3


	5. Affection

Unfortunately, there was no hard liquor in the cabinets. Hajime supposed that was a good thing considering he was known to make terrible decisions while under the influence of alcohol. Instead of mulling over his thoughts with the aid of whiskey, he contemplated his feelings toward Tooru over a hot cup of tea.

Sitting at the kitchen table, Hajime took out the piece of notebook paper that Tooru scribbled his contact information on, his eyes lingering on the small heart the teen doodled. Tooru was gusty, Hajime would have to give him that.

Hajime knew that he could be dense at times, but how had he managed to not notice Tooru’s feelings for him? When Tooru confessed, Hajime could tell that his words were sincere and honest. He could hear the raw emotion in Tooru’s voice. Surely he should have realized Tooru’s feelings earlier. Perhaps Hajime had noticed but he refused to acknowledge it.

Aside from the wide age gap, he was still tied to Miho. Technically, he was still married and he would remain as such until Miho signed the divorce papers. Hajime didn’t think it was wise to get involved with anyone while he was going through all this. Especially not someone like Tooru who seemed so dependent on him emotionally.

Tooru deserved someone who could devote their full attention to him. And Hajime knew that wasn’t him. As much as he wanted nothing to do with Miho, there was still a place for her in his heart. There was no room for another person. At least not at the moment.

Then the answer was simple; Hajime would have to reject Tooru’s feelings. He just needed to think of a way to let Tooru down easily.

Sighing, Hajime folded the piece of paper and stuffed it in his pocket. Admittedly, it felt good receiving a confession. He’d almost forgotten what it felt like to be wanted. The way Tooru looked at Hajime made him feel important, special. He couldn’t deny that it was a good feeling.

Hajime would even go so far as to say that he was disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to explore a relationship with Tooru. Subjectively, Hajime felt as though they were compatible, and he was obviously attracted to Tooru, though, he was ashamed to admit it.

It wasn’t until recently - recently being a couple of months ago - that Hajime had begun to notice Tooru. The boy had seemed to sprout overnight.

Without trying to, Hajime began to think about that day Tooru came over for a swim, dressed in only a pair of neon swimming trunks that were a size too small, showing off his long legs and lower back dimples. Of course, he couldn’t think about that without thinking of how he got off while dreaming about sex with Tooru.

Shifting uncomfortably in the chair, Hajime tried to rid his mind of the images, but he found it difficult. Once the images were there, he couldn’t help but explore them more. Tooru was lean yet there was a softness to him, his body still in the late stages of development.

To think that all of that could be his, all he had to do was ask.

Why fight it? A tiny voice inside his head asked. Tooru wanted him, and Hajime obviously wanted Tooru. It was consensual, and Tooru was an intelligent young man who knew what he wanted. Waiting around until he turned eighteen was somehow creepier than pursuing him now. The only thing really holding them back was Hajime’s so-called morals. They couldn’t be that high if he was already erect just thinking of Tooru.

Cursing under his breath, Haime stood up from the table, leaving his untouched tea behind. He opted for a cold shower instead of giving in to his desires. A cold shower and a half-hour long, mental scolding did the trick.

Fresh out of the shower, he didn’t bother with putting on any clothes. He just laid on his bed, a towel wrapped around his waist as he replayed tonight’s events, from Miho’s visit to Tooru’s confession, on a loop.

Midway through the third replay, Hajime rewound his thoughts, past Miho’s unexpected entrance, back to Tooru’s confession by the pool, and he lingered there. At the time, he’d been jealous of the person Tooru spoke of. Now that he knew that person was him, he didn’t know how to feel.

But Hajime did know one thing. He knew that if he rejected Tooru it wouldn’t stop Tooru from loving him. At least not immediately. Although, the platonic relationship that Hajime was trying to preserve between them would be ruined, and he would risk the chance of Tooru turning to another, older, male figure for what he couldn’t give. If that happened, Hajime wasn’t sure that the substitute would treat Tooru the way he deserved to be treated.

It would appear that Hajime’s decision wouldn’t be as easy to make as he previously assumed. In order to go about this the right way, he would need to look at the picture from every angle.

Rolling over to his back, Hajime blankly stared at the ceiling, his eyes heavy from exhaustion. He needed to get out of this house. There were too many bad vibes floating about. The walls still held the memories of the good and bad times with Miho, making it difficult to think straight.

His job wasn’t expecting him back for another week and a half. Hajime figured he’d better make use of his time off. Tomorrow, he’d take a short trip out of the city, and when he came back, he’d contact Tooru with his answer.

* * *

 

Confessing to Hajime so soon hadn’t been apart of the plan. Tooru had entertained the thought of a more poised confession, preferably on the day of his high school graduation. But that idea had went flying out of the window all because he was an impulsive idiot.

Tooru was fucked. He was so fucked that it wasn’t even funny.

Every time he thought about the heart he drew next to his contact information, he inwardly cringed, his stomach forming into knots. Hajime probably thought he was immature for that. The man probably thought Tooru was immature in general.

Tooru had spent the better part of that night and early morning fighting back nausea. He’d never been this anxious his whole life. He’d tried to mentally prepare himself for the inevitable. Hajime was going to reject him; Tooru was sure of it. Knowing Hajime, he would do so in a nice way, yet it wouldn’t make the blow hurt any less.

Groaning quietly, Tooru pressed his face further into his pillow, wishing that he could go back in time and stop himself from confessing. He wished that he had never developed a crush on Hajime in the first place. That wasn’t true, though. Tooru loved being in love with Hajime, he just wished that things weren’t as complicated.

If they were the same age, Tooru just knew they’d be happily married by now. Probably traveling the world, just the two of them. But, no, Tooru just had to have been born in the wrong decade.

Tooru groaned again.

A light tap on his bedroom door halted his meltdown.

“Tooru.” His mother’s voice carried through the door. “May I come in?”

“Just a minute,” Tooru called back, quickly wiping his damp eyes. Sitting up on the bed, he attempted to make himself look as though he hadn’t been two seconds away from an anxiety attack. Feeling decent enough he gave his mother the okay.

The door opened a moment later, Tooru’s mother peeked her head in. “Do you plan to sleep the entire day away? It’s nearly noon,” she said.

For any other teenager, noon during the summer break meant the start of the day, but Tooru was known to start his days early year round. Naturally, his mother found it alarming that he was still in bed at this time.

Tooru forced a smile. “I was up all night,” he confessed sheepishly.

“Have you boys found a new video game?”

By boys, his mother was referring to Tooru, Takumi, and Issei, who were known for their obsession with buying new video games and playing them nonstop until they unlocked every level. But it had been some time since the three of them had pulled all-nighters for the sake of video games. With Takumi working full time he wasn’t able to participate. Although Tooru didn’t mind continuing the tradition with Issei, it just felt better when it was all three of them.

“No, I just couldn’t sleep.” Tooru didn’t want his mother to pry so he changed the subject. “Iwaizumi-san got me a telescope for my birthday.”

“That was very kind of him!” She glanced around the bedroom. “Where is it? Oh, Tooru, I hope you haven’t been bothering that man.”

Tooru sighed, “I never bother Iwaizumi-san.” At least, he hoped he didn’t. “And, it’s still at his house. He offered to take me camping so I can see the stars better. Can I go?”

“I haven’t stopped by to visit our neighbor in some time. Yet, he is still so nice to you. What a good man. Tell you what, invite Iwaizumi-san over for dinner.”

Well, that was better than a definite no. Besides, Hajime was going to reject him so Tooru wouldn’t have to endure his mother interrogating the man under the pretense of a friendly dinner. When the time came, he’d just come up with a believable excuse as to why Hajime couldn’t join them for dinner or take him camping.

“Sure, I’ll invite him the next time I see him.”

“Great, I can’t wait to have him over. I’ll make berry cobbler for dessert. He used to love my berry cobbler.”

Tooru smiled; this time it was genuine. “Remember when Takumi got upset because you let Iwaizumi-san take the rest of the cobbler home?”

Her brown eyes warmed at the memory, the nostalgia overcoming her. “I miss cooking for a large group,” she said, “There were rarely any leftovers.”

“Issei and Hanamaki are always eager for your cooking!” Tooru tried to cheer his mother up.

It seemed to work.

Smiling brightly, his mother clasped her hands together. “Tell them they’re welcome anytime! Having you all over is always a joy. I remember when you boys were in junior high…”

While his mother took a walk down memory lane, Tooru stole glances at his cell phone, hoping to see an email notification even though he knew he shouldn’t expect one this early. Hajime would more than likely take a few days to figure out how he should go about rejecting him. The man had always been so thoughtful and considerate. Tooru couldn’t help but fall deeper in love with Hajime the more he thought about him.

“There’ll be a movie marathon on today,” his mother said, stepping into the room to collect the clothes hamper. “I’ll make us some lunch and then we can watch a few movies together. How does that sound?”

Tooru wondered if his mother sensed his anxiousness. He wouldn't put it past the woman. She’d always been keen when it came to her sons’ emotions. She never pushed Tooru for answers, giving him the option of coming to her with his problems or not. Because of that, Tooru had always been open with his mother. But this was a situation that he would have to tackle on his own. Still, spending the day with his mother sounded like the perfect distraction he needed.

Getting off the bed, Tooru stretched his hands above his hand, “I’ll help with lunch!”

. . .

“Are you still seeing that sweet girl who baked you almond cookies that time?” his mother asked, setting their tray of food on the coffee table.

Tooru was right behind her with the lemonade. “We broke up weeks ago.” He sat the glasses on the table and took a seat next to his mother on the couch. “She’s dating the baseball captain now.”

“Everyone has a type I suppose,” she laughed quietly.

If only his mother knew what Tooru’s real type was. He wasn’t that worried about revealing his preferences for both male and females, but he was terrified of telling her that he was more into older men; one man in particular. Tooru knew his mother would not support him in his pursuit of Hajime. Neither would Takumi or any of his friends.

Tooru wished that he had someone that he could confide in. But he understood that his situation was a delicate one.

* * *

Every time Tooru’s phone buzzed in his pocket, he stopped whatever it was he was doing to check it. And every single time he was disappointed when he didn’t see anything from Hajime. He may have wanted to throw his phone against a wall once or twice, his anxiety and frustration nearly getting the best of him. But he managed to control his emotions, at least outwardly.

Inwardly, Tooru was a nervous wreck.

That had been going on for three days now. Last night, Tooru almost went to Hajime’s home to demand an answer from the man, but he talked himself out of it. That type of behavior would not convince the man that he was mature and level-headed. It would prove the exact opposite and Tooru couldn’t have that. He had enough odds stacked against him.

Instead of barging into Hajime’s home, Tooru spent the night sulking in his bedroom. Briefly, he contemplated responding to the numerous date offers he had sitting in his inbox, but it was wrong to lead people on. In the past, Tooru had never thought twice about that sort of thing. He just dated whomever as a distraction from his feelings for Hajime. But he stopped doing that after he hurt a girl so badly that she threatened to kill herself.

Thankfully, Takumi had been there to help diffuse the situation. Afterward, his older brother chewed him out for nearly an hour. Tooru had needed that, though. He’d been inconsiderate, a real asshole. Sometimes, Tooru wondered if fate would have Hajime reject him as punishment for his past actions.

“Hey, watch out!” someone shouted from across the court.

Instinctively, Tooru whipped his head in the direction of the voice. Seeing the incoming ball hurtling toward his face, he ducked his head, the ball barely missing him.

“Get your head out of the clouds, pretty boy,” Kuroo Tetsurou taunted, running past Tooru to pick up the ball.

Tooru blinked. He looked around the gym to see that there was a volleyball game going on and he’d walked right in the middle of it. Face heating up, he mumbled an apology as he shuffled off the court. Taking a seat on the sideline, he took out his phone to see what was taking Matsukawa and Hanamaki so long.

Opening their group chat, he was met with two messages from both boys. Apparently, something had come up so neither of them would be able to make it today. This was the second time this week that they’d both stood him up. Maybe they were hanging out together and they didn’t want him around.

Tooru tried not to think that way, but when they did things like this it made it difficult not to.

“Hey.” He glanced up to see Kuroo Tetsurou towering over him. “Another game is about to start, wanna join us?”

“No, thanks. I’m going to be leaving soon.”

“That’s too bad,” Kuroo said. “We could easily wipe the floor with these kids.”

Tooru chuckled. “Kids? We’re all the same age, you know.”

“For all that you know I could be a university student.”

“But, you’re not. You’re Nekoma’s volleyball captain.”

Kuroo sucked his teeth, his face falling in disappointment. “And here I thought no one here noticed who I was.” He actually seemed upset.

Tooru thought it was funny. Laughing, he shook his head. “You’ve been featured in a few sports magazines, of course, people here know who you are. Your hair is hard to miss, too.”

“Guess I should have expected that, Oikawa-san.” He smirked at the stunned expression on Oikawa’s face. “Did you forget that you were a popular athlete too?”

“Well, I’m never the one to brag-”

“Bullshit,” Kuroo chuckled, “You’re always bragging in all your interviews.”

That was true, but Tooru refused to admit it. Smirking, he crossed his arms over his chest. “So, you watch a lot of my interviews, huh?”

Kuroo shrugged indifferently, his expression passive. “I might have seen a couple of them. Only ‘cause I like to study my opponents.”

“Seijoh has never played Nekoma.”

“You never know, maybe one day that’ll change. It’s best to always be prepared.”

Tooru knew the smell of bullshit all too well. He couldn’t pass up the chance to tease the captain. “Aww, sounds like you have a crush on Oikawa-san. Did you come here to confess?” He smiled.

“Hate to disappoint but I already have a boyfriend,” Kuroo informed Tooru, settling one hand on his hip, while the other combed through his messy hair idly.

Tooru didn’t think he heard that right. “You have...a boyfriend?” he asked, eyes comically wide. “You date a boy?”

Taking Tooru’s shock the wrong way, Kuroo frowned defensively. “Yeah, is that a problem?”

“No!” Tooru shook his head, his hands raised in a placating gesture. “No, not at all. It’s just...I would never have guessed that. You don’t look gay.” He bit his lip. He hadn’t meant to word it like that.

“Sorry, I don’t normally wear dresses while I play volleyball. Catch me when I’m out and about.” He snorted. “Look, I was just trying to see if you wanted to play ‘cause you look like someone killed your cat. But if you’re gonna be a homophobic jerk-”

“I’m gay too,” Tooru abruptly admitted, glancing around nervously to make sure no one overheard him.

This time, it was Kuroo who wore the dumbstruck expression. “Really?”

“Well, I go both ways, but yeah…”

Kuroo sighed in relief. “You had me worried there for a sec’. I’m normally pretty good at picking out my kind. I thought I’d been wrong for once. Looks like I am once again spot on.”

Tooru didn’t understand. “Your kind?” he asked curiously.

“Fellow gay athletes. We’re not as rare as you think.” He winked.

Even though they were far away from the other boys, Tooru didn’t want to risk anyone overhearing their conversation. He only came out to Kuroo because he was caught off guard. He’d never met someone like him before.

“Do you mind if we continue this conversation somewhere else?” Tooru asked, looking around the gym anxiously. “No one knows about me.”

“Yeah, let me go grab my bag real quick.”

They continued their conversation down the street at the convenience store. Outside, they sat on the provided benches, eating ramen and sharing their stories. Kuroo had known he was gay since junior high, but he’d yet to come out to his family. Only his close friends and teammates knew. Unlike Tooru, Kuroo wasn’t interested in girls romantically, but he’d dated a few in the past.

“No one knows about you?” Kuroo asked once he was done. “Not even your teammates?”

“My older brother is the only one who knows. I told him a week ago.”

“And you’ve known since junior high too?”

Honestly, Tooru had suspected it long before that. Junior high was when he was certain so it was easier for him to go with that.

Tooru nodded his head.

Kuroo’s smile was suggestive. “Who was your first?” he asked, settling his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his fisted hands. “My first crush was one of my older sister’s classmates. He used to come by the house a lot. Too bad he had his eyes on my sister.”

They’d only known each other for half an hour yet Kuroo felt comfortable sharing this kind of information. It made Tooru wonder if Kuroo had been waiting for someone that he could be this open with. Kuroo’s close friends and teammates knew that he was gay, but from the sound of it they were straight. Being able to talk with someone who truly understood what he was going through was much different.

Tooru’s shoulders relaxed. “My first and only crush was my neighbor.” He stared at the steaming bowl of instant ramen, a fond expression on his face. “It’s more than a crush though.”

“He goes to your school?”

“No, he’s...older.”

“Oh, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. My boyfriend goes to Waseda. It’s his second year.”

Tooru gave Kuroo a look. “He’s older than that,” he admitted, face heating up.

Kuroo’s eyebrows furrowed. “How old is he?”

“Thirty-three.”

To Tooru’s surprise, Kuroo laughed. “Fuck, I thought you were going to say sixty-three or something.” He continued to laugh as he picked up his chopsticks. “Thirty only seems like much ‘cause we’re still in our teens, but it’s not so bad. Besides, it’s just a crush. Not like you two are involved or anything.”

Tooru attempted to laugh too, but it came out strained. “Yeah, we’re not involved at all...” Although, he really wished they were.

Kuroo picked up on Tooru’s mood. “But if you two were involved that’s cool too. As long as he’s treating you right and it’s what you want there’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“You don’t think it’s gross that I like someone who is over a decade older than me?”

“I dated an older guy once. Guess you could I say I prefer older men.”

“Really?”

“He was my first.”

“Your first…”

“Yeah, first time.” He paused. “Sexually,” he clarified.

Tooru was practically leaning over in his seat now. “What happened to you two? I mean, why didn’t it work out?”

Kuroo set his chopsticks aside, having lost his appetite. “He’s an important man. Couldn’t be seen with me. It was fun while it lasted, I guess.”

“How was it?” Tooru couldn’t help but ask.

“Oh, the sex?” Kuroo smirked; he did that a lot, almost as if he couldn’t stop it. “I didn’t have much to compare it to at the time but it was great.”

“You don’t care about telling me all this?”

“You won’t tell anyone,” Kuroo said confidently.

He was right. Tooru had no intentions of telling anyone. Finally, he had someone that he could confide in without fear of judgment. There was no way he was going to ruin that.

“Though, I’ll tell you this,” Kuroo continued, “Once you’ve been with an older man, it’ll be hard to settle for anyone in your age group.” He chuckled. “It’s like an addiction.”

Tooru smirked, “Sounds like you have a fetish, Kuroo-san.”

“Laugh it up all you want. Soon, you’ll be eager to find a daddy to take care of you.”

“Is that why you like older men? Because you have a daddy kink?”

“Blame it on an absent father, I guess,” he laughed.

Tooru wondered if that was why his browser history was filled with daddy/twink porn, and if that why was most of his fantasies revolved around calling Hajime daddy while the older man fucked him into the mattress. That was too deep for Tooru at the moment. Instead of contemplating seeking out a therapist, he laughed along with Kuroo.

“Guess that explains my predicament, too,” Tooru added.

Kuroo flashed a genuine smile. “Looks like we have more in common than I initially thought. I’ll be here visiting my grandparents until August. We should keep in touch.”

“Sure!” Taking out his phone, Tooru unlocked it. “I’ll just get your number and-”

“Something wrong?” Kuroo asked, concerned by Tooru’s sudden loss of words.

Tooru couldn’t hear Kuroo because his heart was thudding loudly in his chest. Finally, after four, dreadful days of waiting, Hajime had contacted him. His immediate reaction was to hurriedly click on the alert to read the message, but he stopped himself. Now that the message was here, he was afraid to read it.

He nearly jumped off the bench when he felt Kuroo sit next to him.

“Dude, are you okay?” Kuroo asked, tapping Tooru on the shoulder cautiously. Naturally, Kuroo looked at the apparent source of Tooru’s distress. His eyes widened when he saw the name listed on the alert. “Is that the Ace of Japan?”

That seemed to snap Tooru out of his stupor. Quickly, he locked his phone and brought it up to his chest, protecting it from the prying teen. “I-I have to go!” He tried to stand up from the bench.

Kuroo grabbed him by the arm. “Not so fast,” he said. “We still need to exchange numbers. There’s no telling if I’ll ever see you again.”

“You’re at the rec center almost as much as me!”

“Who knows, maybe a tragic accident will befall me and I won’t be able to go there again.” He clutched his chest dramatically.

Tooru rolled his eyes. “Fine! Take my number down.”

Smiling triumphantly, Kuroo took his phone out. “Gimme your digits, lover boy.”

“It’s not what you think,” Tooru attempted to clear the air. “Iwaizumi-san is just contacting me about an interview. That’s it.”

“Ah, so it is the Ace of Japan? Now that is a true daddy right there. You sure know how to pick ‘em.”

“It’s not what you think!”

Kuroo wasn’t convinced. “Whatever you say. I’m still waiting on those digits.” He smirked.

Tooru sighed in defeat. He gave Kuroo his phone number, thinking that the sooner he did so, the sooner he’d be able to read Hajime’s email. Unfortunately, Kuroo wasn’t done with his pestering.

Pocketing his phone, Kuroo leaned over. “So, what’s it say? Daddy wants to see his princess tonight?”

“I’m no one’s princess!”

“But you didn’t deny that he was your daddy.”

Tooru groaned. “Can you please go away? I’m nervous enough as it is. I don’t need this right now!”

“I can tell,” Kuroo said, taking on a less playful tone. “That’s why I was trying to lighten the mood. Guess I failed, huh?”

“Big time.”

“My bad. How about a different approach?” Kuroo sighed. “What are you so nervous about?”

Tooru figured he might as well tell Kuroo since they’d shared so much about one another already. Besides, he needed advice from someone with experience. So, Tooru told Kuroo everything, starting with his years of pining for Hajime and ending with his impulsive confession.

Unsurprisingly, Kuroo was stunned.  
  
“Holy shit, you actually confessed to him?” Kuroo asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I know I’m stupid.”

“No, Oikawa-san, you’re bold as hell. I’m impressed.” Kuroo was actually telling the truth. .Confessing was always the hardest part, especially in this situation. “I get why you’re nervous but you can’t stall forever.”

“Can you read it for me?”

Kuroo shook his head. “Nope. That email is for your eyes only. But I will stay here while you read it, just in case you need a shoulder…”

Tooru couldn’t argue with that. Whatever Hajime wrote, it was meant for Tooru to read. No one else. Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, he clicked on the alert. Of course, at a time like this, his phone would take forever to load. The added seconds built up the anticipation to the point where both Oikawa and Kuroo were holding their breaths.

The email was short and to the point. Very anticlimactic, honestly.

“He wants me to meet him tomorrow,” Tooru said, frowning slightly. “I guess he wants to reject me face to face.”

“Or he wants to confess his undying love to you in person. Positivity~”

Tooru re-read the email.

“Why would he want to meet at a karaoke bar, though?” He looked to Kuroo for the answer.

Kuroo shrugged. “You lost me there. Good thing you’ll find out soon enough.”

* * *

 

The karaoke bar that Hajime chose was a little out of the way compared to the other nearby establishments. Tooru had to look the address up online because it wasn’t even listed on his phone’s built-in map. Still, he managed to arrive minutes before the designated time.

Standing outside the small, outmoded building, Tooru took a moment to admire the sky. The sun had begun to set, giving the sky a pinkish tint, the Crepuscular rays still peeking from behind the clouds. There were barely any cars passing by, the sidewalk empty. The lack of background noise somehow enhanced the experience.

It should have rained today, Tooru thought. Seemed unfair that he would have his heart broken on such a pretty day.

Yesterday, Kuroo helped him pick out an outfit. Kuroo told him that regardless of the outcome, he needed to look his best so that he left a good impression. Almost felt like a job interview rather than a matter of the heart.

Nonetheless, Tooru had taken extra care with his appearance today. His denim jeans accentuated his long legs and toned calves and made his ass look better than gym shorts ever would. He settled for a blue crewneck that he tucked into his pants; there was no way he was going to deprive the world of his ass in those denim pants.

As for his hair, Tooru styled it the way he always did, figuring Hajime would know if he’d tried too hard. According to Kuroo, that was the last thing he wanted.

Overall, Tooru was confident in his appearance. All of that confidence went down the drain when he walked inside the bar and saw Hajime leaning against the front counter, a pensive expression on his face.

The woman at the front desk greeted Tooru with a dry, “hello,” without so much as lifting her head up from her book. Still, the woman’s greeting alerted Hajime of his presence. When the older man looked up and saw him standing there his expression relaxed.

Tooru smiled shyly, bowing his head slowly.

Hajime picked up a small key from the counter. “Thanks,” he said to the woman. He motioned for Tooru to follow him.

There was a small hallway with doors on either side. Hajime walked to the last door at the end of the hall, unlocking it. Tooru glanced around the small club, noting the outdated wallpaper and tacky carpet. Why would Hajime bring him here of all places?

“No one ever comes here,” Hajime said, answering Tooru’s unspoken question. He pushed the door open and gestured for Tooru to go in first. “I wanted us to have a little privacy.”

Tooru understood now. Hajime wanted privacy just in case Tooru made a scene following his rejection. Well, the man sure picked a fine place. There seemed to be no one else here aside from them and the receptionist who didn’t seem to acknowledge their presence at all.

Despite the state of the rest of the club, the private room was clean and the furniture appeared to be in good shape. The smell wasn’t nearly as bad as the hallway either. There were two small couches situated around a small, glass coffee table that was covered with refreshments.

Taking a seat on one of the couches, Tooru watched as Hajime picked a song to play. Funny, this almost felt like a date.

“Do you have a preference?” Hajime asked.

“No, anything you pick is fine.”

Hajime picked the first song on the playlist and turned the volume up to a reasonable level that would allow them to hear one another.

“You can help yourself to anything.” Hajime took a seat on the opposite couch. “Everything except the beer,” he teased lightly.

Tooru’s hands fidgeted in his lap, his nerves gradually building by the second. “I don’t really have a taste for anything.” He placed his hands behind his back so Hajime wouldn’t see how anxious he really was.

Of course, Hajime had already noticed.

“Sit by me, Tooru-kun,” Hajime said, scooting over to make room for Tooru.

Tooru’s limbs felt like they were filled with lead as he walked over to the other couch and took the seat next to Hajime. The older man’s body heat and the scent of his cologne helped to calm Tooru, at least a little bit. Hajime always smelled amazing, his scent woodsy with a citrus undertone. Tooru was going to miss it.

Shifting slightly, Tooru caught Hajime staring at him out of his peripheral. Facing the man, he gave him an expectant look.

Hajime’s face was unreadable, similar to that night when they were standing in his kitchen after Tooru had helped him put the groceries away. Just like then, the man’s expression unhinged Tooru.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to get back with you. I needed to leave town for a bit.”

“That’s okay,” Tooru was quick to say. “I’m just happy that you reached out to me.” He was happy that Hajime hadn’t left for good.

“I wanted to make sure that I took the time to think about what you told me.”

“And did you?”

“Yes.”

Tooru dropped his gaze. “Then, what is your answer?” he asked, heart clenching painfully as he prepared himself for the worst.

“Tooru-kun, there is no way I could be in a normal relationship with you. As of now, I am still married and it will stay that way until Miho signs the divorce papers. Even though this is something you want, no one will believe you’re with me by your own free will. They’ll think I’ve manipulated you somehow…”

As much as he wanted to cry, Tooru held the tears back. He would listen to what Hajime had to say, and then he would leave. He refused to beg Hajime to reconsider or cry like a child. When he left the karaoke bar, he would do so with his dignity intact.

Hajime continued, “With that being said, I can’t deny I do have feelings for you. I’m unsure how deeply those feelings run, but I know it’s enough for me to want to see where this could go. Please know we won’t do anything that you’re uncomfortable with and we’ll take this as slow as we need to. I only care about making sure you’re happy.”

“You’re not rejecting me?” Tooru asked in shock, his head jerking up so that he could see Hajime better.

“No, I’m not rejecting you.” Hajime touched Tooru’s chin tenderly, making sure their eyes were level. “I like you, too, Tooru-kun.”

Everything Tooru had said about refusing to cry and keeping his dignity intact was thrown out the window. The tears he’d been holding back rolled down his cheeks. Hajime cupped Tooru’s face, wiping the tears away with his thumb as he stared at Tooru with a fond expression.

Tooru felt undeserving of Hajime’s gaze right now. His friends always told him that he was ugly when he cried so he could only imagine what he looked like right now. Though, despite what Tooru felt, it was clear that Hajime felt the opposite.

Hajime gazed at Tooru as though he’d never seen a sight more pleasing. Tooru blinked briefly, and when his eyes opened again, Hajime’s face was closer than it had been before, the tiny space between them buzzing. The man was waiting for Tooru’s consent, but Tooru wasn’t in a place to verbally give it. So, he leaned in, brushing his nose against Hajime’s cheek softly. That one, innocent gesture sent a shiver through them both, their eyes closing.

Whatever restraint Hajime previously had was diminished in that second. He pressed his lips to Tooru’s tear-stained lips, the taste of salt on both their tongues, and he allowed himself to let go.

TBC 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the nice comments on the last chapter. Where You Belong is going to be about 15 chapters in total and it's going to be a wild ride, but unlike my other fics there will be very light angst instead of heavy angst.
> 
> Enjoy <3


	6. Truly

Tooru’s first, real kiss didn’t go exactly how he’d expected it to go.  
  
There were no fireworks or stars behind his eyelids as the romance novels often depicted. The kiss didn’t steal his breath away and it didn’t make Tooru forget all of his troubles. Hajime’s lips weren’t rose petal soft or succulent like the ripest of fruits. Instead, Hajime’s lips were dry, somewhat chapped, and they tasted briny like sea water.  
  
Their kiss was messy; not in a steamy, passionate way, but in a disgusting way.  
  
Hajime ended the kiss. “Is something the matter?” he asked. He lifted his hand to wipe Tooru’s wet face.  
  
Tooru hadn’t stopped crying ever since Hajime had confessed which was why their kiss had been so gross. Mortified by the realization, Tooru covered his face with his hands.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I-I’m kinda nervous…” He was never going to be able to live with himself for admitting that. The goal was to make Hajime see him as an adult, not a frightened child.  
  
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. I should have asked you before I did that.”  
  
Tooru wanted to tell Hajime that he never needed to ask him for anything, that anything he wanted, Tooru would give willingly and eagerly. But then, Hajime pulled Tooru into the warmth and security of his arms, and Tooru lost his train of thought.  
  
“I got ahead of myself,” Hajime chuckled.  
  
Tooru lifted his head. His eyes were still damp but he’d wiped his face on his hands. “I was nervous because I wanted my first kiss to be perfect and I was so afraid of messing up.”  
  
“That was your first kiss?”    
  
“Yes.” Technically it wasn’t, but it was the only kiss that mattered to Tooru.  
  
The new information seemed to upset Hajime, a deep frown taking over his features. Tooru thought that maybe he shouldn’t have revealed that to the man. Maybe Hajime would dislike how inexperienced he was. His heart clenched in his chest. Would their relationship end before it even started?  
  
“I’m an idiot,” Hajime muttered. He hugged Tooru tighter, knocking the wind out of the boy. “Of course you’re feeling overwhelmed. I kissed you without a single warning. I’ll be cautious from now on.”  
  
“Iwaizumi-san,” Tooru wheezed, “you’re crushing me.”  
  
“Fuck. Oh, sorry.” Releasing Tooru, Hajime smiled sheepishly. “I guess it’s safe to say that we’re both nervous.”  
  
Knowing that he wasn’t the only one was comforting, and while it could mean a number of things, Tooru believed that it was a testament to how much Hajime liked him. Would the man be this flustered if he didn’t at least care for Tooru? No. No, he wouldn’t. Tooru may have been young, but even he knew how a person’s actions could be heavily influenced by their emotions.  
  
The first time he hooked up with one of his female classmates hadn’t unsettled him nearly as much as kissing Hajime had. Because his feelings for her didn’t hold a candle to what he felt for Hajime.  
  
Moments ticked by. Tooru glanced around the room, mentally cringing at the colorful wallpaper that clashed with the grey carpet as he waited for Hajime to break the silence. But that never happened. Hajime was staring at the snacks on the table so hard that Tooru feared the man would burn a hole through the bowl of peanuts. He supposed he would just have to take the initiative.  
  
“Iwaizumi-san, can we start over?” Tooru asked.  
  
Hajime nodded.  
  
Tooru looked into Hajime’s eyes, finding the strength he needed in the viridescent depths. “I like you,” he said, voice clear and unwavering.    
  
“I like you, too, Tooru-kun.” Smiling softly, he leaned forward, his movements hesitant and careful. “May I kiss you?” he asked.    
  
“Yes.”  
  
The second time they kissed was noticeably better than the first time and closer to what Tooru had read in novels. Hajime’s knuckles grazed Tooru’s rosy cheeks as the man showed him what a real kiss should feel like. His lips were still chapped yet the taste of salt was no longer there. Instinctively, Tooru’s lips parted at the faint press of Hajime’s tongue. Tooru gasped quietly when their tongues touched, the new sensation melting his bones, and soon, his breathy gasps turned into erotic moans.  
  
He nearly whined when Hajime pulled away.  He contemplated leaning forward, resuming the kiss, but the look in Hajime’s eyes made him lose his courage.  
  
Hajime’s chest was heaving as he stared at Tooru as if he wanted to devour him. “We should stop,” he said, the gruffness of his voice sending a shiver through Tooru.  
  
Tooru wasn’t having that. The man he’d coveted for years was right here in front of him, obviously just as affected by their kiss as Tooru was.  
  
“It’s okay,” Tooru said, moving to a kneeling position. Before Hajime could even think to stop him, he straddled the man. “We don’t have to stop,” he whispered. “I want to keep going.”  
  
Hajime kept his hands firmly at his sides, afraid that if he indulged, even a little, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from fucking Tooru right there on that tacky couch.  
  
“I didn’t bring you here for that, Tooru-kun.”  
  
“You said that no one ever comes here…”    
  
“When I said that, this was not what I had in mind. I only wanted a place where we could talk, uninterrupted.” Gently, he pushed Tooru away, urging the boy to retake his seat on the couch. ”I brought you here so that we could hang out.”  
  
“Like a date?” Tooru asked, hopeful.  
  
Hajime smiled. “Yeah, like a date.” A pause. “Our first date,” he clarified.  
  
As exciting as that was, another sweep around the private room put a damper on Tooru’s mood. Due to the stipulations surrounding their relationship, he understood that there weren’t many places where they could have a date, but this establishment was...not ideal.  
  
Practically reading Tooru’s mind, Hajime chuckled. “I used to come here all the time during my university years,” he explained, “It wasn’t always...smelly.”  
  
Tooru stared at his lap. “Did you use to bring your wife here?” He hated how jealous the mere thought of that woman made him.  
  
“Miho hates karaoke bars. I’ve never brought her here. I wanted this to be something for only us.”  
  
“Does this mean we’re boyfriends?” Tooru glanced up at Hajime, wanting to see the man’s face when he answered the question. As badly as he wanted Hajime, he didn’t want to be the man’s dirty little secret. He wanted a committed relationship.  
  
Hajime took a while to answer, but when he finally did he put all of Tooru’s fears to rest.  
  
“Yes, this means we’re boyfriends.”  
  
Hearing that from Hajime, after all the pining and the doubt, was—well, the feeling was indescribable. Unable to verbally express his happiness, Tooru hugged Hajime. Hajime returned the hug and they stayed like that for several minutes, both of them savoring the embrace.  
  
“I used to come here with my teammates after every game, win or lose,” Hajime said a little while later as he flipped through the large songbook.  
  
From his seat on the couch, Tooru watched the man curiously. “Was this when you were at Meiji or when you were on the national team?” he asked.  
  
“Meiji.” Hajime’s face lit up when he found what he was looking for. Setting the book aside, he typed in the three digit number for the song selection. “I must warn you that I don’t have the best singing voice.”  
  
Tooru was completely enthralled by every move Hajime made and every word the man spoke. No matter how badly Hajime’s singing voice was, Tooru would continue to look at him with nothing but love and admiration. He was sure of it.  
  
The song Hajime chose was one that Tooru had never heard before, but it was fast-paced so, naturally, Tooru liked it. When Hajime started to sing, Tooru’s mouth dropped open in shock. Hajime’s singing voice was terrible, hands down the worst that Tooru had ever heard.  
  
Tooru recanted his earlier statement: no matter how much he loved Hajime, he couldn’t contain his laughter.  
  
Pausing, Hajime grinned. “I warned you,” he said, winking.  
  
But he continued with the song, anyway, singing to his heart’s content. After Tooru’s laughter died down, he cheered Hajime on because no matter how bad it sounded it was obvious that Hajime was having fun and that was what this day was about; enjoying each other’s company without interruption.

* * *

 

“That’s some romantic, Shoujo ass shit right there,” Kuroo said once Tooru finished his play by play of last night. They sat across from one another on the floor of the latter’s bedroom, legs crossed and voices hushed despite them being the only ones at the house.  
  
Tooru laughed. “Except that it was better. Last night was perfect.”  
  
“What happened after the sing off?”  
  
“He brought me home.”  
  
“That’s it?”

“He kissed me goodnight.”  
  
“That’s it?” Kuroo asked again. It was difficult to tell if he was aware that there wasn’t more and he was just being a jerk or if he genuinely was expecting there to be more.  
  
“It was our first date,” Tooru said, suddenly feeling defensive.  “Were you expecting us to have sex or something?”  
  
Kuroo doesn’t answer the question. Not directly, anyway. “Don’t act like if he would’ve tried it, you wouldn’t have let him. Hell, I’m shocked that you didn’t try to ride his dick at the karaoke bar.”  
  
Tooru thought of how he’d straddled Hajime and how he’d told the older man that they didn’t have to stop, that he didn’t want to stop. The blush that spread from his neck to his cheekbones gave him away. Kuroo’s laugh was obnoxious.  
  
“I knew it,” Kuroo said, still laughing.  
  
“Get out of my house,” Tooru said. Maybe he was joking. Maybe he wasn't.  
  
“Your mom said I could stay as long as I liked.”  
  
“That was because I told her you were my friend. She’ll rescind the invitation once I tell her how big of an ass you are.”  
  
“I was only looking out for you. You’ve been crushing on this guy for years. I can only imagine all the pent-up sexual tension you have. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to ride his dick on the first date.”  
  
Leave it to Kuroo to say something like that with full sincerity. They’ve known each other for two days yet Tooru related with Kuroo more than he’d ever had with Matsukawa or Hanamaki. And it wasn’t just the whole “homosexual volleyball captain” similarity. It was more than that. There was no point in him putting up a front with Kuroo because what the boy was saying was true.  
  
Tooru really wished he would have ridden Hajime’s dick at the karaoke bar. When he told Kuroo that, the boy leaned over and patted him on the shoulder in understanding.  
  
“Yeah, I know, buddy. I know.”  
  
“But I don’t think he wants to do that with me. He was very clear about us not taking things too far.”  
  
Kuroo kept his hand on Tooru’s shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. “Man, you’re really dumb. Guess it’d be unfair if you had common sense on top of all your other attributes.  
  
Frowning, Tooru swatted Kuroo’s hand off his shoulder. “I have common sense,” he said. “You think you’re an expert on the matter. Why don’t you stop insulting me and start enlightening me.”  
  
“The Ace of Japan wants to fuck you until you’re boneless and brainless. He just won’t admit that anytime soon cause he still sees you as the dumb fuck little kid who used to bother the hell out of him all the time.”  
  
Why on earth had Tooru decided to confide in Kuroo? The things that he’d told the boy in confidence were now being used against him. Although, Kuroo had a point. Honestly, Kuroo had a really great point.  
  
Tooru sucked his teeth. “I didn’t even think of that,” he admitted.  “Obviously, he doesn’t see me as a kid anymore ‘cause he wants to date me. But having sex with me is different, I guess.”  
  
“He seems like the non-creepy type from what you’ve told me,” Kuroo said, remorseful. “Good luck getting him to fuck you.”  
  
“All I have to do is prove to him that I’m mature enough for an intimate relationship with him.”  
  
“How do you plan on doing that?” Gonna’ get a big boy job? Invest in stock or something?”  
  
Tooru hadn’t thought that far. He’d never thought that Hajime would return his feelings so understandably he was unprepared. But wasn’t sex a given with most relationships? Both individuals knew that at some point they were going to want to take that next step. That meant that Hajime was open to the possibility. At least in the future.  
  
Too bad Tooru wasn’t in the mood for waiting because he’d waited long enough.  
  
“What do you suggest I do?” Tooru asked.  
  
Kuroo rubbed his chin, thinking. “Whenever I want my boyfriend to fuck me, I send him nudes. That method was more effective when I was in Tokyo. Now that I’m here the whole break, the most I can get is phone sex.” He shrugged. “Beggars can’t be choosers, I guess.”  
  
The last part was missed by Tooru, his thoughts still on Kuroo’s mention of nudes. Tooru purchased his first dildo last year and he’d been making good use of it since then. After the dildo, he went on to purchase an anal plug and cock ring that he rarely used.  
  
Curiosity had made him take the first picture of the silicone shoved inside of him. The second, third, and fourth time had been the product of vanity. Tooru would go so far as to say that he was obsessed with documenting his exploits with his toys. But the idea of sending his nudes to anyone, let alone Hajime, had never crossed his mind.  
  
“I can’t do that,” Tooru said, shaking his head. “That’ll be...I don’t know. Don’t you think that’s...desperate?”  
  
“Well, you are desperate for that dick, so what’s the real problem?”  
  
Once again, Kuroo had a point. Tooru was, indeed, desperate for Hajime’s dick.

As the saying goes: desperate times call for desperate measures. 

Tooru whined, kicking his feet a little like a child throwing a tantrum. “You’re the worst influence!”  
  
“Everyone needs a friend like me,” Kuroo said. He was obviously pleased with himself. “Trust me, once you send him a nude he will never stop thinking about boning you. I won’t guarantee an instant organ rearrangement, but doing this will definitely speed up the process.”  
  
“Organ...rearrangement?”  
  
Kuroo nodded. “That’s if his dick is as big as I think it is.”  
  
Tooru wasn’t worried about that. He’d seen Hajime in swimming trunks before: the man was definitely well-endowed. What Tooru was confused about was Kuroo’s vulgarness.  
  
In the high school sports magazine, Kuroo was described as an upstanding student. He was the vice president of the Chem Club and an avid reader. In the public eye, Kuroo was what a lot of people would describe as a nerd. But Oikawa knew differently.  
  
“So, do you know which picture you’ll send,” Kuroo asked on their way downstairs to help Tooru’s mother with the groceries.  
  
Tooru had too many options to choose from to know for sure. What Tooru did know was that once Hajime saw the picture he decided to send, Hajime was going to see him in a new light.

* * *

Kuroo left after lunch. Tooru’s mother offered to drop the boy off at his grandparents’ but he assured her that he would be fine taking the bus. Of course, Tooru’s mother couldn’t let Kuroo leave empty-handed. She sent him off with a bento filled with leftovers from lunch and an invitation to visit anytime. 

When Oikawa was in his bedroom sorting through his nudes folder, Kuroo texted and told him that he loved his mother. Oikawa told him to join the club.  
  
Tooru’s mother had a way of making all of his friends feel as though they were her own children. He’d never met anyone as genuinely kind and selfless as his mother which was why he loathed his father, and would always loathe the man, for the countless times he’d hurt his mother. Even with the man gone, she still suffered.  
  
Looking away from his phone, Tooru absently stared at the door of his bedroom. Suddenly, he felt guilty. His mother had always been understanding. Surely she wouldn’t disown him or be disappointed in him for his interest in the same sex. He felt bad for even assuming such a thing. The sudden urge to run down the stairs and come out to his mother overcame him.  
  
But then his phone chirped, signaling a new text message. One look at the name on the phone’s screen made Tooru forget all about coming out to his mother.    
  
_From: Ace_ _  
__> > Hope you didn’t oversleep._  
  
Grinning, Tooru rolled over to his stomach, his feet swinging idly in the air as he typed his reply. For the sake of secrecy, he’d saved Hajime’s number in his phone under a name that could easily apply to anyone that Tooru came into frequent contact with. He was curious to know what name Hajime had chosen for him.  
  
_From: Ace_ _  
__> > Good to hear. I was worried I kept you out too late. _  
  
Tooru rolled his eyes. Hajime had him home by ten thirty which was hardly late. It was obvious that Hajime still saw him as a kid, and it irritated Tooru. Closing out the message thread, he returned to the password protected folder that held all of his nudes. In his eagerness to prove himself a man, Tooru didn’t bother to preview the picture before sending it.  
  
“Oh shit,” Tooru muttered. Back in the message thread, he stared at the white “play” symbol on what he’d thought was a picture. His heart dropped. “Shit!” he said, louder, his voice carrying downstairs.  
  
Ignoring his mother’s sharp warning to watch his language from the other side of the door, Tooru hurriedly turned the volume down on his phone low enough so that he’d only be able to hear it by holding the phone to his ear. Then, he pressed play.  
  
_“...me...harder, Hajime!”_  
  
Tooru made an inhuman sound as he tossed his phone away and covered his ears in an attempt to block out the embarrassing sounds. Which was pointless really since the volume was far too low for Tooru to hear. Still, he could remember the day he made the video clearly. He could reminder all the nasty things he’d said. The things he’d begged “imaginary Hajime” to do to him.  
  
Groaning, Tooru tugged on his hair until his scalp burned. The sensation hurt more than he thought it would and it made his eyes water. He was so mortified that he didn’t bother checking his phone to see if Hajime had read the message or not.    
  
“Stupid, Kuroo,” Tooru cried into his pillow.

* * *

 

The first day back on the job was uneventful for Hajime. Well compared to the work days that he was accustomed to. He’d spent a majority of the morning catching up with his colleagues, discussing last year’s batch of notable, young athletes, and replying to emails. Any other time, the tedious tasks would have irritated him, but he kept himself occupied by thinking about his date with Tooru. 

Hajime wasn’t sure if last night was the best night of his life. After all, he had a lot of memorable nights. But singing cheesy pop songs with Tooru was definitely in his top three.  
  
“Some of us are going out for lunch. Want to come?” Tsukishima Akiteru said, leaning against the doorframe. “A lot of the newbies are eager to meet you officially.”  
  
A formal introduction with new colleagues was important, but he would have to pass. He smiled apologetically. “Thanks, but I still have a lot of emails to catch up on,” he said. “Tomorrow, lunch will be on me.”  
  
“Sure thing.” Despite Akiteru’s obvious disappointment, he smiled. “I’ll be sure to let everyone know that lunch will be on you tomorrow.” Then he disappeared down the hallway.  
  
Hajime waited until he was sure that Akiteru and his other colleagues were out of the building before he took out his phone to text Tooru. There was no policy that prohibited cellphones in the office; at least not for someone with Hajime’s seniority. But, he was paranoid about his relationship with Tooru, for obvious reasons. To ensure no one learned about them, he would have to take necessary and unnecessary precautions.  
  
_From: ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡_ _  
_ _ >> No! I got up early enough to go running at my usual time! _  
  
Hajime typed his reply. The kaomoji he picked for Tooru’s contact name had accompanied Tooru’s goodnight text last night. He thought that it was vague enough to serve as an alias. While he awaited Tooru’s reply, Hajime deleted the junk mail from his inbox.  
  
When his phone vibrated with a new message, he was ashamed of how excited he was. He was giddy like he was youthful and optimistic which was incongruous to his jaded self. But that was how Tooru made Hajime feel.  
  
_From: ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡_ _  
_ _ >> .video _ _  
_  
Hajime was surprised that Tooru had sent him a video, but he was curious to know what it was. Against his better judgment, he pressed play.  
  
Immediately, he regretted it. In the video, Tooru was sitting in front of a full mirror, naked, and moaning as he bounced on a flesh-colored dildo as if he was born for it. Tooru was moaning loudly, but even louder than his moans was the squelching noise the dildo made every time—  
  
“...me...harder, Hajime!”  
  
“Fuck,” Hajime cursed sharply.  
  
Somewhere in the building, Hajime could hear a door closing, the sudden noise startling him. Frantically, he locked his phone. He opened the top drawer of his desk and tossed the device inside.  
  
Hajime tried his best to act natural when one of his colleagues stepped into his office to use his color printer which proved difficult because every time he so much as blinked he could see Tooru fucking himself on that dildo. If he tried hard enough he could even picture Tooru bouncing on his dick instead.  
  
The very thought of it had Hajime’s pants tightening near his groin. Before Hajime could get a full-on boner, he snapped his eyes shut and tried to think of something unsettling. The first thing that came to mind was the unsigned divorce papers that Miho had left in the mailbox for him that morning.  
  
Yeah, that was more than enough to put out the flames of lust.  
  
Hajime kept his phone in the drawer for the remainder of his shift. He didn’t trust himself not to steal a peek at the video. Better safe than horny, he supposed.

* * *

 

“Are you going to break up with me?” Tooru asked. He glanced up at Hajime, eyelashes damp with tears.  
  
The question put an immediate halt to Hajime’s pacing. He’d told Tooru to come by as soon as he’d made it home from work so that they could talk about the earlier incident. The remainder of Hajime’s workday had been rather difficult with the temptation of Tooru’s video close by. But aside from his work being interrupted, there were serious things to touch on.  
  
Hajime placed his hands on his hips, his expression stern. “I’m not going to break up with you, but I need to be sure that you understand why I’m so upset,” he said. He stood in front of Tooru, looking down on the boy as though he were a disappointed father. “Do you understand that if anyone else saw that video I could’ve been charged for possessing child pornography?”  
  
“I didn’t mean to send it.” Tooru bit his trembling lip. “I don’t want you to get arrested. I just wanted…” He glanced away. “Nevermind. I’m really sorry, Iwaizumi-san. I promise not to jeopardize our relationship ever again.”  
  
Sighing, Hajime kneeled down in front of the couch where Tooru sat. “Tooru-kun, look at me,” he said, gentle and patient. Tooru looked at him with tears running down his face. “Tell me.”  
  
“I wanted you to see that I wasn’t a kid anymore.”  
  
“I wouldn’t have accepted your feelings if I didn’t see you as a mature young man.”  
  
“That’s not all,” Tooru said, sniffling. He wiped his eyes with his fists. “I wanted to show you how badly I wanted you. How badly I’ve always wanted you.”  
  
Hajime would never get over Tooru’s gutsy nature. Had he been this brave when he was Tooru’s age? He doubted it. There weren’t a lot of people, let alone teenagers, who possessed Tooru’s courage. The boy was truly one of a kind. And Hajime was fucking screwed.  
  
“When did you make that video?” Hajime asked, trying and failing not to think of the twenty-three seconds of said video that he saw.  
  
Tooru had the gall to blush. “A month ago. I have some from last year, too…”  
  
“You’ve always...done that and thought of me?”  
  
“You’re all I think about, Iwaizumi-san,” Tooru said, voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve been saving myself just for you…”  
  
Hearing that stirred something within Hajime. It made him feel good about himself, but it also aroused him. Hajime wanted to know what made him worthy. He wondered what it was that Tooru saw in him that Miho couldn’t. Was it the kind of wonderment that adolescents possessed before the cruel world stripped the veil from their eyes or perhaps it was something unique about Hajime that garnered Tooru’s devotion.  
  
Hajime glanced down at the white track shorts Tooru wore, paying special attention to the way they rode up Tooru’s thighs. He placed his hands on Tooru’s knees with no purpose other than to touch.  
  
“Do you always use that dildo when you do it?” Hajime asked voice strained.  
  
Tooru may have been inexperienced, but he wasn’t daft. “I have other toys,” Tooru said.  Spreading his legs slightly, he moved his hands away from his lap and used them to prop himself up on the bed. The small adjustment gave Hajime a better view of his body. “I used to only use my fingers. Then I wanted more.”  
  
Do you want more still?— Hajime wanted to ask, but the answer was obvious.  
  
Dragging his hands up Tooru’s thighs, he closed his eyes slowly, amazed by how soft the boy’s skin was. Despite that softness, Tooru was lean muscle and sharp ridges; an athlete’s body. He should have stopped when he was nearing the area where Tooru’s shorts began, but he didn’t. Not until he felt Tooru’s pubic hair brush across his fingertips. Retracting his hands, he opened his eyes to gauge Tooru’s reaction.  
  
Tooru was a panting mess; his face was flushed and damp, his bottom lip swollen from his anxious nibbling. He was also sporting a very noticeable tent in his shorts.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Hajime said. He laid his head on Tooru’s left thigh, feeling defeated. “We need to stop, Tooru-kun.” Even as he said this, he was rubbing his cheek against Tooru’s thigh and palming his erection through his slacks.  
  
“Please,” Tooru whispered, “touch me.”  
  
Hajime wanted to touch Tooru. He really, really, wanted to touch Tooru. But he wasn’t sure if he was capable of stopping.  
  
“No,” Hajime said. Lifting his head from Tooru’s lap, he avoided the boy’s gaze, afraid that he’d crumble if he looked Tooru in the eye. “I can’t.”  
  
“Is it because you don’t really want me. Did you only agree to be my boyfriend because you didn’t want to hurt my feelings?” Tooru asked. His voice was thick from his building anxiety.  
  
“I would never lead you on like that, Tooru-kun.”  
  
“Well, is it cause I’m a guy?”  
  
“No, that’s not why.”  
  
“Then why?”  
  
The reason behind Hajime’s current hesitation was because he wanted Tooru so badly that he feared he’d break him in half if he gave in. His general reason for wanting to take things slow was because Tooru was precious to him, and he’d hate himself if he fucked this up like he’d done with past relationships.  
  
Hajime was prepared to continue to stand his ground, but he realized all too late that he’d underestimated how far Tooru would go to get what he wanted.  
  
“Tell me you don’t want me,” Tooru said as he slid off the couch, depositing himself on Hajime’s lap. “Say it and I’ll leave.” He scooted closer, the friction pulling gasps from them both. “Hajime, please.”  
  
What happened after that was a bit of a blur for Hajime. The only thing he could clearly remember was that somehow Tooru was on the carpeted floor, lying on his back with his legs wrapped around Hajime’s waist and his hands fisted in the back of Hajime’s shirt. He moaned Hajime’s name so loudly that Hajime wondered what kind of sounds Tooru would make if he were actually inside of him.  
  
Hajime was only rubbing his erection against Tooru’s. Which would have been far more enjoyable if there were no clothes separating them. Though, there was the way Hajime gripped Tooru’s hips and groaned into his ear as created that delicious friction that had Tooru reacting that way. And Hajime was addicted to how responsive Tooru was.  
  
“Feel good?” Hajime grunted into Tooru’s ear. “Huh, baby?” He sucked Tooru’s earlobe into his hot mouth and bit it.  
  
Tooru screamed, “Yes.”  
  
Hajime kissed Tooru’s sweaty neck and resisted the overwhelming urge to lick and suck on the sensitive area. In need of something to latch his mouth onto, Hajime lowered his head, catching a piece of Tooru’s shirt with his teeth, and hiking it up. The sound Tooru made when Hajime dragged his tongue across one of his hard, rosy nipples was so unbelievably sexy that Hajime groaned at the sound of it.  
  
There was only so much Tooru’s body could take which was a shame because Hajime had only just begun to explore Tooru’s erogenous zones. But then the boy started to tremble spasmodically, his thighs tightening around Hajime as he orgasmed. Hajime talked Tooru through it with encouraging words, endearments, and gentles kisses on his flushed face.  
  
“What about you?” Tooru asked. His breathing was heavy and his eyes were heavy-lidded. He looked as if he would pass out at any moment.  
  
Yet he was concerned about Hajime’s pleasure. Hajime cupped Tooru’s face, staring at him with nothing short of fondness.  
  
“I’m fine,” he lied. “I just wanted to take care of you.” That was the truth, at least.  
  
Tooru leaned into Hajime’s touch. “I want to make you feel good too.” Blindly, he reached for Hajime’s belt loops. “Let me help you.” Finding the loops, he hooked his fingers in them and pulled Hajime forward.  
  
Hajime liked to think that he could have ejaculated from Tooru’s afterglow alone. Tooru was beautiful, and he only used that adjective because his muddled brain was pretty much useless right now. Despite them both knowing full well that he was physically stronger out of the two, Hajime allowed Tooru to pull him close. But he intervened when Tooru tried to unzip his pants.  
  
“You don’t have to do that, Tooru-kun.” He chuckled. “You can barely keep your eyes open.”  
  
Tooru didn’t argue with that because he was indeed tired. “Then, you can use my body to get off,” he said. Smiling up at Hajime, brown eyes overflowing with adoration. “I don’t mind.”  
  
It was scary how eager Tooru was to make Hajime happy. Hajime had no idea if it was because of Tooru’s immense feelings for him or if it had to do with Tooru’s father’s abandonment. Perhaps it was a mixture of both. He would have to show Tooru, rather than tell him, how a healthy relationship was supposed to be like.  
  
Hajime kissed Tooru, softly. “Do you want to know what I really want to do?” he asked.  
  
Tooru nodded.  
  
“Take a nap with you.”  
  
Tooru frowned; which was adorable what with how sleepy he was. “You don’t have to lie, Iwaizumi-san.”  
  
“Today was really long. I just want to nap with you in my bed.”  
  
“You want me in your bed?”  
  
“Yes.” Hajime stood up. By now, his erection had gone down some; the perks of being more experienced was that he knew all the things that could kill his erection in a matter of seconds. “We can get a nap in before you have to go home for dinner.”  
  
“Speaking of dinner,” Tooru mumbled as Hajime carried him up the stairs, “remind me to ask you something important when I wake up.”  
  
“Okay.”  
  
Inside his bedroom, Hajime didn’t bother pulling the curtains back or flipping the light switch on. He knew this room like the back of his hand. Placing Tooru on the bed, he asked the boy if it was okay for him to remove his shorts and replace them. Tooru gave his consent. After he changed Tooru into a pair of his compressions shorts, he took off his slacks and slid under the covers next to Tooru. Carefully, he pulled Tooru against his chest, spooning him.  
  
“Since we’re boyfriends now,” Tooru started, voice slurred, “can you call me Tooru?”  
  
“Only when we’re alone.”  
  
“Okay.” He touched Hajime’s arm that rested over his torso. “Does that mean I have to call you Hajime?” Tooru asked. It didn’t sound as though he wanted to.  
  
“Do you want to call me that?”  
  
Tooru was quiet for some time, and Hajime thought that the boy had finally succumbed to his exhaustion. But he was wrong.  
  
“She used to call you that,” Tooru said quietly, bitterly, “I want to have my own name for you. Something that will only belong to us.”  
  
Hajime buried his nose in Tooru’s hair, breathing in the scent of pears and fresh linen. “And what name will that be?” he asked. His eyes drooped closed and his body went slack, his own exertion setting in.  
  
He was half-sleep by the time Tooru replied, “Iwa-chan.”

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think, please! Thanks for reading <3


	7. Self Control

Tooru let out a loud, suffering groan. “Damn, I should’ve shaved!” He slammed the locker shut and rested his forehead on the cool metal. He kept thinking about the other day in Hajime’s living room, the brush of the older man’s fingers on his groin, and the horrifying fact that he hadn’t shaved beforehand.

Closing his own locker, without that much force and dramatic flair, Kuroo laughs. “I’m sure he doesn’t care about your bird’s nest,” he says, a poor attempt at consoling Tooru.

“I don’t have a bird’s nest! I keep everything neat.” At least that was what he used to do but he’d been slacking lately. “That’s not important. What’s important is that Iwa-chan will be coming over for dinner tonight and I’m freaking out!”

“Okay, but when are you not freaking out?” Kuroo smiled at the glare Tooru threw in his direction. Tossing his damp towel on the bench, he towel dried his hair with a smaller towel. “Seriously, man, it’ll be fine. Relax.”

Oikawa discarded his own towel and knelt down to grab a shirt out of his duffel bag. They’d just finished up a light game of volleyball with a couple of college guys from the neighborhood. Hanamaki and Matsukawa had been there too but they’d left early without much of an explanation. Kuroo joked the two were probably going to hook up, but Oikawa doubted it.

“You’re only saying that cause you’re not in my shoes,” Oikawa says. “What if my mother finds out about us?”

Kuroo rolled his eyes, an outward show of his annoyance. “You mom won’t find out as long as you chill out. Let Iwaizumi-san do all the talking and everything will be okay. I’m sure he has experience with sweet talking women.”

Tooru imagined Hajime trying to sweet-talk his mother and it was actually pretty funny. He smiled.

“You’re right.” Tooru took a deep breath. He was mildly embarrassed by how he’d been acting all morning. “Thanks, Kuroo.”

“Not a problem. By the way, I’m always right.”

“Why are you always so full of yourself?”

Kuroo shrugged. “Guess it’s another one of my defense mechanism.” It was meant to sound like a joke, but Tooru caught the somberness behind those words.

Tooru had been so wrapped up in his own problems that he hadn’t noticed how down Kuroo was. Although, it wasn’t as if Kuroo was wearing a neon sign that read 'I’m sad as hell' but there were signs that Tooru should’ve picked up on sooner. The biggest sign being the dark bags under Kuroo’s eyes.

“Kuroo, what’s wrong?” Tooru asked, taking a seat next to Kuroo on the bench.

“Everything is peachy.”

“That’s obviously a lie.”

“It’s my boyfriend.” Tooru was surprised by how easily Kuroo opened up to him. “He’s been blowing me off for two days now. He keeps telling me that he’s busy with classes but I don’t know.”

“Do you believe he’s telling the truth?”

“I want to believe he is.”

Tooru touched Kuroo’s shoulder. The action made Kuroo look up at Tooru and that was what he wanted.

“Give it a few more days,” Tooru said. “Don’t jump to conclusions just yet. I mean, we’re always being told that university is pretty tough, right?” 

“Yeah, that’s what they always say. I just miss him.”

“You should tell him that. Maybe he needs to hear it.”

“I can’t be all clingy and stuff. That’s a turnoff.”

Tooru couldn’t help but think about how shameless he was in his own clinginess toward Hajime. He constantly told himself that if Hajime wanted him to go away, he would’ve told him by now. But now that Kuroo mentioned it, Tooru was beginning to wonder if perhaps Hajime was simply too nice to tell him to go away.

“How do you know he doesn’t like clingy?” Tooru asked, needing the reassurance for himself more than Kuroo.

“No one likes a clingy significant other.” He stood up and picked up his gym bag, ending the conversation. “Come on, we’re going to miss our bus.”

They’d planned to take the bus into town to stop by a comic book store. Tooru figured Kuroo wanted a change of subject so he dropped it and followed Kuroo out of the gym and to the closest bus stop.

* * *

  
Scanning his eyes over the email one last time, checking for any spelling errors and finding none, Hajime hit send. Sitting back in his chair, he took a deep, calming breath.  
If Miho was adamant about her demands of taking half of everything he owned, he’d give it to her just to get her out of his hair. He just sent an email to the woman’s attorney to set up a meeting later that week.

Hajime knew Miho wasn’t going to let him go that easily. She’d always felt entitled to his money, his achievements. It made sense she’d want what she felt was her just reward.

“Knock, knock,” Tsukishima Akiteru said, poking his head inside the office. He stepped in carrying two plastic bags. “I come bearing gifts.”

Smiling, Hajime sat up and moved his keyboard to the side. Rubbing his hands together, he eyed the bags. “Took you long enough.” He caught a whiff of fried rice and nearly salivated.

Akiteru sat the bags on the desk. He removed his blazer and sat it on the back of the chair. Sitting down, he wasted no time taking the food containers and chopsticks out. “The line was wrapped around the building. Sorry about the wait,” he said.

Hajime picked up a set of chopsticks, waving Akiteru off. “Don’t sweat it.” He opened his desk drawer, taking out his personal bottle of sriracha. “Thanks for bringing it.”

“Anything for you, Boss,” Akiteru joked, mimicking a certain intern who had an obvious crush on Hajime. He laughed at the flat look Hajime gave him. “Can’t be upset with me because everyone has a crush on the Senior editor.”

“That’s not true,” Hajime said, picking up a clump of sriracha covered fried rice with his chopsticks. “You don’t have a crush on me.”

Akiteru chuckled. “Maybe I do.”

Hajime glanced up, catching a glimmer of truth in the man’s eyes. But then Akiteru blinked and smiled again, the look was gone.

“Stop messing around,” Hajime said, not knowing what else to say.

Akiteru laughed and that was the end of it.

They ate mostly in silence. A silence that Hajime found comfortable, something he was used to in Akiteru’s company. He couldn’t say that about a lot of his colleagues. He couldn’t say that about a lot of people. 

“You seemed a little...distracted when I first walked in,” Akiteru said, his half-eaten food sitting in front of him. “Business or personal?”

“Personal,” Hajime said, finding it easy to talk to Akiteru. “Miho’s made her claims.”

“What’s the damage?”

“She wants half.”

“No prenup, huh?”

Hajime shook his head sadly. “Young fools in love,” he muttered.

“Looks like you were the only fool. She’s going to walk away with half your earnings.” Akiteru chuckled. “I kinda admire her.”

Despite himself, Hajime laughed. “Maybe you should marry her. I hear she’s back on the market.”

“Not my type.”

“Gold digging social climbers not your type.” Hajime felt bad for saying that. He couldn’t blame Miho for wanting a good, comfortable life. “She wasn’t always like this. I guess people change.”

Akiteru began closing the food containers and packaging them. “People don’t change. We’re just blind to their true selves at first.” He sounded as though he spoke from experience.

Wincing, Hajime scratched the back of his neck. “Damn, who hurt you?” he asked.

Akiteru laughed. “My high school sweetheart, my first-year university sweetheart, and every other person I’ve dated.”

Hajime tried not to linger on Akiteru’s use of _person_ instead of _woman_. “You live and you learn,” he says.

“That’s what I keep hearing.” Picking up his leftovers, Akiteru stands, grabbing his blazer, slinging it over his shoulders. “If you want, we could grab a drink after work. Sounds like we both need one.”

“I’ve had plenty of drinks,” Hajime said, embarrassed to admit it. “Besides, I have dinner plans tonight. Maybe some other time.”

“Hot date already? You don’t waste time.”

“It’s with my neighbors,” Hajime chuckled.

Akiteru nodded, seemingly in deep thought. “So, you’re not seeing anyone?” he asked, looking down at Hajime.

Hajime was suddenly reminded of how tall Akiteru was compared to him. Tall and broad-shouldered, with a strong jawline and soft eyes. He shifted in his chair, feeling as though he were put on the spot.

“It’s too soon,” Hajime said trying not to think about Tooru. There was no way he was going to tell Akiteru he was in a relationship with his seventeen-year-old neighbor. “After everything with Miho, I don’t think dating is the best right now.”

“Of course,” Akiteru said. “I was only curious.” He smiled good-naturedly. “Well, I better get going now. I have to submit my article about Karasuno’s volleyball club by the end of the day.”

“Karasuno?” Hajime snorted. “What are you writing about? Worst teams in the country.”

“I hear they’re going to make a comeback. Also, my younger brother’s playing for them when the semester starts.”

“A comeback, huh? I do love a good underdog story. Keep me posted on their process.”

“You got it.”

Hajime cleaned off his desk and put his sriracha away when Akiteru left the office. The short visit helped to lift his mood and keep his mood lifted throughout the remainder of his workday.

* * *

  
“What in the fuck are you doing here?”

“Is that any way to greet your older brother?” Takumi asked, pretending to be affronted. “I drove all this way to see you. I thought you’d be happy.” He got out of his car that was parked in the driveway, slamming the door behind him.

Tooru watched his brother walk to the backseat and take out a small overnight bag. He nearly had a tantrum right then and there. Takumi couldn’t be here tonight not when Hajime was supposed to be over for dinner. He didn’t need his brother sticking his nose in things that didn’t concern him.

“You’re really upset that I’m here.” Takumi’s smile faded; he looked hurt. “Am I missing something?”

Well, Tooru couldn’t outright tell his brother he was disappointed he was there because he didn’t want him to find out he was dating their neighbor. Bad enough Tooru was nervous as hell about his mother putting two and two together about him and Hajime. Now with Takumi being here, he was certain his secret would be revealed. His brother had a troublesome talent of reading bullshit a mile away.

The longer he remained silent, Takumi’s suspicion festered. Tooru thought it best to just cancel dinner; he’d explain everything to Hajime and have him come some other night.

Tooru cleared his throat, “Nothing, I—”

The sudden appearance of Kuroo startled Tooru into silence.

“Sorry, dude but I couldn’t hold it,” Kuroo said. “Can I please use your bathroom?!” He shifted from side to side, holding his knees together.

Last time Tooru saw Kuroo was at the bus stop after they’d returned from their comic store trip. Kuroo was going to hang out with him for a couple of hours but decided to go home. So, Tooru was surprised to see him now.

“Um...sure,” Tooru said quickly. “You know where it is.”

“Thanks!” Kuroo ran into the house without another word.

“New friend?” Takumi asked, smiling at Kuroo’s comical departure.

Tooru wasn’t sure how the idea came to him, but he ran with it. “Actually, he’s more than that.” He hoped this wouldn’t come back and bite him in the ass. “He’s my boyfriend and he’s going to be staying for dinner. Mom doesn’t know about us…”

Takumi’s eyes widened. “Oh, that’s why you’re bugging.” He seemed relieved. “I thought you didn’t want to see me or something…”

“Takumi, I’m sorry.” Tooru felt terrible. “I’ve just been so nervous all day about having him over. Plus, Iwaizumi-san’s coming over, too.”

“Iwaizumi-san’s coming over? He hasn’t been over in years.”

“He’s going to ask mom if he can take me camping.” Tooru figured a half-truth would be better than creating an elaborate lie he wouldn’t be able to keep up with. “For my birthday, he got me a telescope and I wanted to see the stars better, you know?”

“I thought you’d given up on astrology cause of our sperm donor.”

Tooru laughed at the nickname Takumi had given their dad after he’d walked out on them. “I thought if I invited Iwaizumi-san over the same night, it’d take mom’s attention away Kuroo.”

“So, that’s his name?” Takumi smiled.

Tooru nodded. “I promise to tell you all about him later. Please, don’t interrogate him, Takumi.”

“When have I ever interrogated anyone?”

“You interrogate everyone,” Tooru deadpanned. “Even me.”

“That’s fair.”

Kuroo walked out of the house then, looking relaxed, lighter than he was when he ran in. “Thanks,” he said to Tooru. Looking at Takumi, he grinned. “I assume this is the infamous older brother. The resemblance is obvious.”

“Yes,” Tooru said. “This is my older brother, Takumi. Takumi this is my _boyfriend_.” He saw Kuroo tense but other than that the boy gave nothing away. “Kuroo Tetsurou.”

“Nice to finally meet you,” Takumi said, extending his hand.

“Likewise.” Kuroo took Takumi’s hand and winced. “Got a strong grip there, Takumi-san,” he gritted out, holding his smile through it all.

Takumi smiled; the same way Tooru did when he was about to murder someone on the court. “Sorry, sometimes I don’t know my own strength.” He let Kuroo’s hand go, but he held his gaze. “So, you’re an athlete, as well. What sport?”

“Volleyball.”

“Position?”

“Middle blocker.”

“You’ve got the arms for it.” Takumi appraised Kuroo. “You hoop?”

Kuroo shrugged. “Not my thing.”

“What a waste of height.”

“I put it to good use. Don’t worry.” Kuroo put his arm on Tooru’s shoulder as he said that and Tooru wanted to die.

  
Takumi looked between Kuroo and Tooru, his expression blank. Tooru waited for his brother to rip Kuroo to shreds; either physically or verbally. Instead, Takumi laughed and patted Kuroo on the shoulder. “I like him!” He locked his car with the key fob. “We’ll chat later. I need to let mom know I’m here.”

When Takumi walked off, Kuroo watched him leave. “You piece of shit,” he whispered to Tooru. “I can’t believe you.”

“I’m sorry! I had to think fast,” Tooru said in his defense. “He’ll be gone tomorrow and then I can tell him we broke up or something.”

“I’m not talking about that.” Kuroo tore his eyes away from the house once Takumi disappeared inside. “Why didn’t you tell me your older brother was fine as hell?”

Tooru rolled his eyes. “Because he’s not. Takumi is Takumi. That’s all.” He stepped out of Kuroo’s embrace.

“Takumi is a tall glass of Daddy and I want a drink,” Kuroo said. “When he shook my hand like that, I almost nutted in my fucking track pants. Now I can’t even suck his dick cause he thinks I’m dating you. Some friend you are.”

“Don’t you have a boyfriend?” Tooru was irritated. He didn’t understand why everyone always drooled over Takumi.

“Sucking a little dick never hurt anyone. Plus, my boyfriend still isn’t answering my calls so looks like I’m single and eager to mingle.”

“My brother is off limits.”

“Yeah, cause he thinks I’m dating you,” Kuroo reiterated.

Tooru sighed, “Takumi is straight.”

“And so is spaghetti before you boil it.”

“You’re unbelievable. My brother’s the straightest person I know. Even if he didn’t think we were dating, he wouldn’t be interested.” He faced Kuroo. “You claim to have a flawless gaydar. Did you pick up any gay vibes from him?”

Kuroo pouted. “Not a single one. He’s painfully straight.” He stuffed his hands in his pocket. “Anyway, I’m gonna’ head home. My grandmother’s baking pie and I can’t miss out on that.”

“Actually…” Tooru started nervously. “I told Takumi you were staying for dinner…”

“Isn’t the Ace coming over for dinner?”

“Yes, that’s why I need you to stay. My mom won’t think anything of it if you’re both here.”

“You’re gonna' make me miss out on pie?” Kuroo narrowed his eyes. “I’ll stay but you owe me big time, Oikawa. I’m talking major.”

Tooru was afraid of what owing someone like Kuroo entailed. Overall, the boy was trustworthy and he wasn’t cruel so he figured he’d be fine. “Deal,” Tooru said. “I promise to do whatever you want when this is all over.”

Kuroo took out his phone. “Cool. I need to call home and let my grandmother know I’ll be late. You should give the Ace a heads up.”

“Oh, that’s right.”

He sent Hajime a quick text. As for his mother, Tooru knew the woman wouldn’t mind having extra mouths to feed.

* * *

 

 _From: ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡_  
_> > Takumi and a friend will be at dinner. Just a heads up..._

 _From Ace:_  
_> > Should I come over some other time? I wouldn’t want to intrude._

 _From: ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡_  
_> > technically they’re the intruders lol _  
_> > d_ _nt_ _worry my mom still wants you to come_

 _From Ace:_  
_> > Only your mom? _  
_> > Laugh out loud! I’m teasing. _  
_> > I have no idea why it spelled that out._

 _From: ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡_  
_> > (*≧艸≦) _  
_> > looks like you dnt_ _use the phrase a lot_

 _From Ace:_  
_> > Text slang isn’t my forte. _  
_> > Obviously. _  
_> > Neither is texting._

 _From: ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡_  
_> > would you rather I write you a letter and send it by pigeon?? LOL_

 _From Ace:_  
_> > Very funny. _  
_> > What’s your mother’s favorite flower?_

 _From: ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡_  
_> > orchids. _  
_> > I like sunflowers if you’re wondering _  
_> > but dnt_ _bring me a bouquet that’d be suspicious_  
_> > but my mom loves flowers so bring them_

 _From Ace:_  
_> > Noted. See you soon._

 _From: ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡_  
_> >(♡ >ω< ♡)_

* * *

 

“If you look at him the way you look at a text from him, you’re gonna give it away,” Kuroo said, lounging on Tooru’s bed like he owned the place.

Pocketing his phone, Tooru resumed his task of finding something decent for Kuroo to wear at dinner. “I know how to mask my emotions when it calls for it.” He always did it during volleyball, around his teammates and opponents. He’d learned how to do it around his father as not to appear weak. “I’m not a complete idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot at all. You’re just in love and people in love have shit poker faces when the object of their affection is around.”

Tooru found a button down shirt he hadn’t worn in a while. Taking it out the closet, he tossed it at Kuroo, taking pleasure in the way the boy flailed on the bed when the clothing hit him in the face. “Try that on.”

Lifting the shirt, Kuroo examined it. “I can fit it,” he said, laying the shirt on the bed. “It's the pants I’m worried about. I’m taller than you.”

“By two centimeters tops.”

“Still, I’m taller than you.”

Tooru hated to admit it, but he wasn’t arrogant enough to deny a blatant truth. “I have jeans you can probably fit. Just roll them up.”

“I’ll look like a square.”

“Who exactly are you trying to impress? My straight brother? My divorced, way out of your league mother?”

“Maybe I want to impress my gorgeous boyfriend and his lovely family.” He propped up on his elbows on the bed. “Since we’re boyfriends and all, we should mess around before dinner. You know, make it seem realistic.”

Tooru flipped Kuroo off.

Laughing, Kuroo got off the bed and picked up the shirt. “I’m kidding. When is he coming over?”

“He should be here soon. I need to figure out what to wear.”

“Don’t overdo it.”

Tooru definitely thought about overdoing it. He had to constantly remind himself this wasn't a date. Hajime wasn’t really coming over to meet his family and neither was Kuroo. This was a normal dinner. Nothing else. Except it wasn't. Rather his family knew it or not, they were meeting his boyfriend tonight. Tooru just didn't want to overthink the situation any more than he already was. Dressing up would imply tonight was special. It wasn't; not to everyone else. 

Kuroo walked over, gently moving Tooru aside so he could get a better look at the clothes options. “This red polo is nice. Wear that with some dark wash jeans.” He smirked. “That way you can rep your boyfriend’s team colors.”

“Hajime no longer plays for the national team.”

“Not him. Me!” Kuroo facepalmed.

Tooru cursed. “If I slip up that easily all the time…”

“You’re fucking screwed.”

Okay, I’ll just keep my mouth shut all night. That way, I won’t slip up.”

“Your folks are going to find that odd. The goal is to not draw attention to yourself.”

Tooru’s breathing quickened. Dinner was going to be a disaster. He was going to ruin everything by being too obvious about his feelings for Hajime. His mother was going to be distraught, Takumi furious. His older brother would more than likely try to fight Hajime. His mother might even call the police. His relationship with Hajime was going to end before it even started and he was going to die a lonely virgin. But most importantly, he was going to ruin Hajime’s life, his reputation.

“Deep breaths,” Kuroo said, suddenly standing closer than Tooru remembered. “Everything is okay. Everything will be okay. Just breathe.”

A single tear rolled down Tooru’s face. Kuroo wiped it away with his thumb and continued his instructions of _breathe_ _in_ and _breathe out_. Tooru tried to match his breathing with Kuroo’s. His lungs felt sore, his throat tight, but he powered through.

When his head didn’t feel so clouded anymore, Tooru cracked a smile. “You’re good at that,” he said.

“I have a lot of experience,” Kuroo said, still speaking quietly. “My best friend has panic attacks before matches.”

“I haven’t had one in a long time.”

“You’re really worked up about this dinner. Sorry for teasing you earlier.”

Tooru shook his head. “It’s okay. I know you don’t mean anything by it.”

There was a sharp knock at the bedroom door. Takumi opened it shortly afterward. He saw how close Kuroo and Tooru were standing. To an onlooker, it was as if they’d just pulled away from a kiss. He smiled sheepishly.

“Um, mom wants you two to set the table,” he said.

Tooru cleared his throat. “We’ll be downstairs in a bit.”

Takumi looked like he wanted to say more but he didn’t. When he left the room, Tooru took the red polo out of the closet and walked to a corner of the room to change. Kuroo walked to an opposite corner and did the same. Once they were dressed they went downstairs.

“Look at my handsome boys,” Tooru’s mother, who was wearing a modest, plum dress said when they entered the kitchen. “Tooru, show Tetsurou-kun how we set the table.”

“Yes, mom.”

“Hear that,” Kuroo said as he set the table the way Tooru showed him, “your mom loves me already. I have that effect on people.”

Tooru snorted. “Then how come I haven't succumbed to your charm?”

“The effect varies. Takes longer in certain people but end results are the same.”

  
“Rice dish on the left,” Tooru corrected Kuroo. “If I had your confidence I wouldn’t be so wound up right now.”

Kuroo glanced up at Tooru, his smile remorseful. “Remember, this is just one of my many defense mechanisms,” he said.

After they sat the table, Takumi teased Tooru about showing Kuroo his baby pictures. Even though Tooru wasn’t really dating Kuroo he didn’t want his friend to see his baby pictures because his mother had always dressed him in god-awful sailor-style clothes and horrid hats. Kuroo would never let him live it down.

Thankfully, the doorbell rang. Tooru declared he would answer the door and no one questioned his eagerness. He ran to the door, grateful for the small foyer that granted him a little privacy. No one saw him adjust his shirt and fix his hair. No one saw him he anxiously bite his lip as opened the door.

Hajime smiled in surprise when he saw Tooru. “Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” Tooru replied, taking Hajime in from head to toe. Pressed slacks, dark blue buttoned down, polished shoes; Hajime even looked good in business casual attire. The man’s cologne was heavy, musky and it made Tooru’s head fuzzy and his nipple harden with desire. He glanced down at the vase of orchids, happy for the distraction. “She’s really going to love those.”

“That’s good to hear.” Hajime reached into his pocket and took out a black envelope. Discreetly, he slipped it to Tooru. “That’s for you.”

Tooru glanced at the envelope. “What is it?”

“See for yourself.”

Quickly, Tooru opened the envelope. When he saw the contents, his heart raced. Inside was a small, pressed sunflower. Bringing a bouquet just for him would’ve drawn too much attention, but Hajime went out of his way to bring Tooru a special gift.

“Do you like it?” Hajime asked, sounding unsure.

“I love it,” Tooru answered and he was so earnest and sincere. He wanted to kiss Hajime but they were pushing their luck. A second longer and he knew his mother would wonder what was taking so long. “Come in.”

Hajime stepped inside, removed his shoes at the door and stepped into a pair of guest slippers Tooru offered him. He glanced around the foyer. The slight frown between his eyebrows was the only hint of his own nervousness. Knowing that Hajime was worried too made Tooru feel better. It showed how important this dinner was to Hajime. It showed how much Hajime cared. 

“Ready?” Hajime asked, smiling. 

Tooru returned the smile. “Now I am.”

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for late updates!  
> Chapter title is named after Frank Ocean's song Self Control. I think it fits Tooru and Hajime perfectly.  
> Thanks for reading and sticking around <3


	8. Searchin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!

Dinner began on a good note, and Tooru could only hope that it’d end that way, as well. His mother had prepared a simple yet delicious three-course meal; garden salad as the appetizer, Shogayaki for the main course, and the dessert remained a surprise, though, Tooru had an idea what it was. As they all gathered around the table, Tooru’s mother at the head, Takumi opposite her, the matriarch apologized profusely to her eldest son.

“If I’d known you were coming I would’ve cooked more,” she said, tangible remorse on your gentle face.

Takumi smiled reassuringly. “Don’t sweat it, Mom. This is more than enough.” It really was. Every time their mother cooked, she cooked enough to feed up to seven people.

Across from Tooru, Hajime smiled pleasantly. “Thank you again for inviting me, Oikawa-san.” He glanced at the food and then back at Tooru’s mother. “I must admit I’ve missed your cooking.”

Kuroo, who was sitting beside Tooru, whistled under his breath. “The guy’s a charmer…”

The way Tooru’s mother beamed at the remark was telling enough. If Tooru didn’t know any better he’d think Hajime was flirting with his mother. Hajime didn’t know how to be anything but charming and respectable. It was just who he was.

“You’re welcome to my cooking anytime, Iwaizumi-san,” she said. Then she switched to a new topic better suited for the adults in the room. “How’s the 9 to 5 treating you, Iwaizumi-san, Takumi?”

Tooru tried his hardest not to swoon at every word Hajime said or the way his tongue occasionally darted out to lick a speckle of rice that misses his mouth. He was careful, or so he thought, to keep the gawking to a minimum to avoid anyone noticing how thirsty for Hajime he was. This was the first time, in a very long time that Hajime was in his home, sitting directly across from him. Without realizing it, he stopped eating to watch Hajime fill Takumi in on the latest in the sports journalism world.

It was difficult not to imagine a different scenario. One where Hajime was there to meet his family, not as a kind neighbor, but as his boyfriend.

Under the table, Kuroo lightly tapped his foot. Leaning over he whispered, “If I can read your mind, I’m sure Takumi will be able to.” He moved away quickly before anyone could notice, taking an expert stab at his food with his chopsticks and popped it in his mouth.

Taking his eyes off Hajime, Tooru stared at his own plate. Kuroo was right; he was being too obvious. He instead tried his best to follow the conversation, but he was sure to pay more attention to his brother than Hajime. Eventually, Kuroo started a separate conversation between Tooru and himself about the upcoming season’s predictions.

Of course, the topic drew the attention of Hajime and Takumi who were both sports fanatics. 

“I keep hearing good things about Karasuno,” Hajime said, looking at both Tooru and Kuroo. “They’re going to be making a comeback.”

“Who?” Takumi asked eyebrow raised.

Kuroo said, “I think I’ve heard of them in passing from my coach. Nekoma has a rivalry with them, but I’ve never played them.”

“One of my coworkers is an alumnus. Says his younger brother is attending this year. The journal will be keeping their eyes on them.”

“Speaking of the journal,” Kuroo said, wiggling his eyebrows at Hajime. Beside him, Tooru suppressed an eye roll. “Any plans of doing a special on the greatest volleyball club to ever exist?”

Tooru couldn’t resist. “Greatest team?” You must mean Seijoh.”

“Nekoma,” Kuroo said, “is the greatest team.”

Before a petty argument could begin, Hajime chuckled. “Since I’m the head journalist, I only conduct interviews when we’re short on staff, and most times they send me to Shiratorizawa Academy.”

At the mention of his rival’s school, Tooru’s mood plummeted. His mother and brother seemed to sense it before their guests do. They’d heard Tooru rant about Ushijima Wakatoshi enough to know it was a sore subject. Smoothly, Takumi changed the subject and started talking about a new action movie that was set to hit theaters sometime next month. As disinterested as she was, Tooru’s mother even joined in on the conversation. While they talked, Tooru looked up and found Hajime’s eyes on him, an unspoken apology hanging in the depths.

Tooru smiled softly, putting Hajime at ease.

“Takumi did you get a chance to properly meet Tetsurou-kun?” his mother asked. “He’s Tooru’s new friend.”

“Yes, I met him earlier. “ Takumi gave Kuroo a nod. “I hear he plays volleyball, as well.”

“Tooru, you sure know how to attract your own kind, don’t you?” The statement his mother made could be interpreted in different ways; several ways, actually. But with Tooru’s frayed nerves he could only think of one way.

Waving frantically, Tooru spoke in a high-pitched voice. “I-it’s not like that! Kuroo and I are just...friends.” He laughed nervously. “Just friends.”

Everyone at the table, including Kuroo, stared at Tooru. Out the corner of his eye, Tooru could see Takumi put a hand on his face. Shit, he was being too obvious right now, wasn’t he? Clearing his throat, Tooru sat up in his chair, picking up his chopsticks to resume eating, briefly he saw the frown on Hajime’s face, and he hoped the man wasn’t thinking the worst right now.

“This Shogayaki...wow, so good,” Kuroo said directly to Tooru’s mother, successfully taking her attention off her fumbling son. “You have to tell me your secret, Oikawa-san.”

“Oh, there’s no secret.” The woman blushed slightly. “Well, I do add special seasoning to the breading…”

While she filled Kuroo in on her culinary not-so-secrets, Tooru and Takumi shared a look. His older brother was giving him that, “You’re a fucking idiot.” look and he couldn’t help but agree because he was behaving like a fucking idiot right now. Takumi’s gaze dropped to his plate. No longer under his judgemental gaze, Tooru glanced at Hajime. The man wasn’t looking at him. He was also staring at his plate, his eyebrows pinched together which only served to increase Tooru’s anxiousness.

Did Hajime think Tooru and Kuroo were dating? Oh no.

“Takumi, could you help me clear the table and get dessert from the kitchen?” their mother asked.

"Sure thing.” Takumi gave his brother a supportive look before he left.

With the three of them alone, the awkward tension in the air seemed to intensify. Tooru was staring at the space where his plate once sat while Hajime was looking around the small dining room like he was trying to imprint the homey decorations to his memory. Kuroo was staring at them both, wishing he was at his grandparents’ eating pie by now.

Tooru tried to think of topics in order to break the silence, but it continued to stretch on until Takumi and their mother returned with small plates of berry cobbler. The warm aroma of fresh fruit and buttery crust was enough to put everyone at ease.

“My favorite,” Hajime remarked.

“Oh, we remember,” Takumi said bitterly. “I’ll never forget how mom let you take the last piece home that one time.”

“Takumi has a habit of not letting things go,” their mother said fondly.

Hajime chuckled. “So do I,” he said before taking a bite.

Kuroo spoke so only Tooru could hear. “This almost makes up for the pie I missed…”

Following dinner and dessert, they all gathered in the living room for tea. Hajime and Tooru’s mother sat on the couch alone, talking softly to one another. Tooru knew they were discussing the camping trip, and he couldn’t help but try to read their lips. He couldn’t make out anything they were saying, however.

“You didn’t do too bad,” Kuroo whispered to him. “Except that time when you almost came out to your mother on accident.”

On the other side of Tooru, Takumi snickered, having heard Kuroo’s word. “You have got to be more chill, Tooru.”

Wow, now both his brother and Kuroo were giving him shit. Tooru hated that he ever introduced the two. He doesn’t need to be double-teamed. He was nervous enough as it was.

“I think that’s a fine idea, Iwaizumi-san,” Tooru’s mother suddenly said. “Just let me know more details once you have them. You have my full permission.”

Well, that was enough to lift Tooru’s mood.

Hajime smiled. “Will do. Thank you.”

Once that was over, Tooru’s mother stood. “It’s getting late. Tooru and Tetsurou-kun, would you mind helping me out in the kitchen?”

“In the meantime,” Takumi said, standing as well, “Hajime and I are going to do a little bonding.” He looked to Hajime. “Think it’s time the adults went out for a couple of drinks.”

Tooru frowned. What in the hell was his brother up to? He wanted Hajime to turn the offer down, but he knew Hajime was too nice to do that.

“Sounds good,” Hajime said. He bowed at the matriarch. “Thank you again for having me.”

“It was my pleasure. Please, come again anytime.”

Tooru tried to hang back and see what his brother was up to, but while Takumi and Hajime were making their way to the front door to slip their shoes on, Tooru and Kuroo were being dragged to the kitchen. He heard the door shut, a heavy, uncomfortable sensation settled in the pit of his stomach. He really didn't want Takumi and Hajime alone together. But he couldn't place why that was. 

It was when he was in the middle of drying off a plate Kuroo handed him when the realization hit Tooru so hard he nearly dropped the plate. The reason why he didn’t want his brother around Hajime was that he was insecure. He knew people found Takumi attractive. What if Hajime decided he was more interested in the older, more mature version of Tooru?

Takumi was straight, but that wasn’t enough to stop men from being attracted to him, apparently. Besides, from the looks of it, Hajime more than likely thought Kuroo and Tooru were dating. Hajime was probably hurt, feeling betrayed. He might hit on Takumi to get back at Tooru.

As fucked up as it was, Tooru knew it was something he’d do if he were in Hajime’s shoes. He was young and as mature as he could be at times, in certain situations, he didn’t quite know how to deal with heartbreak or betrayal. There was no telling how far they’d go while drunk. Tooru had never been drunk himself, but the way people were often depicted in mass media when they were under the influence was all he had to go by.

For all he knew, Hajime and Takumi were drunkenly making out by now. Tooru felt like crying.

* * *

 

With a low whine, Takumi dropped his head on Hajime’s sturdy shoulder. “I feel so terrible,” he admitted quietly. “I shouldn’t be doing this.”

“There’s nothing to feel guilty about,” Hajime said, patting Takumi’s head gently. “You’re allowed to live your life.”

“But my family comes first.”

They’d been at the quaint bar for less than twenty minutes, and Takumi had already gulped down two Millionaires and opened up to Hajime more than he’d opened up to anyone in years. The truth was, Takumi didn’t come to town to see his family. At least not initially. He’d come here to visit his girlfriend of six months. Feeling guilty, he'd dropped in to see his mother and brother because he was so accustomed to revolving his entire world around them.

Hajime was the closest Takumi had to an older male he could look up to. Naturally, he felt comfortable talking to Hajime about this. He even said as much.

“I’m sure they want you to be happy too. You are happy with this woman, aren’t you?”

Lifting his head, Takumi smiled dreamily. “She’s amazing, Iwaizumi-san. I can be myself around her and she isn’t just interested in my looks or my money...she gets me.”

Over Takumi’s head, Hajime saw the bartender walking toward them. Discreetly, he waved the man off. He wouldn’t allow Takumi to have any more drinks tonight. The man was past his limit.

“That’s great,” Hajime said. “She sounds like a nice girl.”

“But, I don’t have the space for anyone else right now. Tooru is entering his senior year, the most important year, and my mom isn’t over our shitty father. They need me. A girlfriend will only take my attention off them.”

Hajime couldn’t help but feel sorry for Oikawa Takumi. The man once had the chance to join the olympic team due to his success in Track and Field. He’d been known as the fastest in the district. Hajime remebered the sports journals that dedicated pages to the elder Oikawa’s accomplishments. Instead, Takumi had given it all up to take care of his family. Even now, he couldn’t comfortably live his life because he was so worried of letting them down. All of this because his father walked out on them. It was heatbreaking.

“Takumi-san,” Hajime started, “you deserve to be happy.” He touched the side of Takumi’s warm face, making sure their eyes were level. Briefly, Hajime wondered if Tooru would look like this in a few years. “There’s a way to fit all the people you care about in your life without neglecting anyone. Allow your family to meet your girlfriend when the time’s right. Let them see that you’re happy and the rest will fall into place.”

Takumi’s eyes sparkled, and he stared at Hajime in the same awestruck way Tooru often did. Yet it was different. Takumi’s eyes held platonic admiration not love. Again, Hajime wondered if Tooru would look like this once he’d aged more. Strong jawline, firmer body, and hardened eyes.

This was the type of man Hajime was attracted to, but he didn’t feel anything for Takumi because he couldn’t stop thinking about Tooru. Tooru with his rounder face, soft yet toned body, and warm eyes. Tooru who always looked at him like he could do no wrong.

“You’re right,” Takumi said after some time. He moved away from Hajime’s touch. “I love all of them. I should let them meet.”

Hajime chuckled. “So, you love her?”

Brown eyes widened. “I said that?” he gasped.

“Yeah, you did.”

“Well, damn. I guess it’s true then.” He turned around. “Where’s the bartender. I need another drink.”

  
Hajime thought about stopping Takumi, but he needed another drink too. He’d only had once since they’d been here. But with the route his thoughts were taking, he’d prefer to be a little inebriated. They ordered two Millionaires. Once they got them, they clicked their glasses together and then knocked the drinks back.

“You know, I like that you’re taking my brother camping.” Takumi no longer looked like a wide-eyed drunk anymore. He was sitting straighter, his expression serious. “He’s always looked up to you. Even more than our crappy dad. I try to be a good role model for him, but it never hurts to have more than one.”

Guilt consumes Hajime. Because he isn’t acting as Tooru’s role model. He was more than that, something he shouldn’t be to his underage neighbor. If only Takumi knew the truth. He’d probably try to kick Hajime’s ass; the man’s short-temper was well known. Hajime would let Takumi kick his ass.

“I’m not role model material,” Hajime muttered.

Takumi heard him. “Is this about your divorce?” he asked. “Your ex-wife’s been talking to the tabloids a whole lot.”

Hajime was aware of that. Miho had been bad-mouthing him to any reporter that would give her the time of day ever since he asked for a divorce. But Hajime’s reputation in the public was too good to have it tarnished by what everyone knew to be a bitter woman.

“I don’t care if most of it is true,” Takumi said. “Just don’t hurt Tooru. Show him how to be a better person. Show him how to handle his emotions properly. That’s what’s important. I don’t want him to develop anger issues like me or walk away when things get too tough like our shitty dad.”

“I can do that,” Hajime said without thinking because he honestly believed he was capable. “Before he leaves for university, I’ll do my best to be a good influence in Tooru-kun’s life." And beyond that. "You have my word.”

“Thank you, Iwaizumi-san.” Takumi patted him on the shoulder. Then he motioned for the bartender. “Another round, on me!”

* * *

 

An hour later, they stumbled out of the bar, Hajime using his weight to support both Takumi and himself. He flagged down a cab. Takumi was laughing and poorly singing a song as Hajime shoved him in the back of the car and climbed in behind him. During the drive, Takumi fell asleep, his head on Haime’s shoulder. It reminded Hajime of the many nights he got drunk with his teammates in university and had to take care of them. He always enjoyed taking care of people. It made him feel important, needed.

Reaching the Oikawa residence, Hajime helped Takumi up to the front door. As soon as Hajime said, “We’re at your mother’s house.” Takumi seemed to sober up. His head shot up and his eyes cleared. Hajime chuckled. That was one hell of a talent.

“Mom can’t see me like this,” Takumi said, cursing under his breath. He straightened up, brushing unseen dust off his pants. “Okay,” he said mostly to himself, “I can make it to my room without falling over. I think.”

Hajime waited until Takumi took his house key out and unlocked the door. The foyer was dark so that was a good sign that Oikawa-san was sleeping or in her bedroom. Takumi thanked Hajime and gave him a small salute before walking inside, closing the door behind him.

A little drunk himself, Hajime slowly walked home, grinning to himself. He was in a good mood. He wondered if Tooru was still up. A part of him wanted to see him tonight, but a larger part knew it was unwise what with the state he was in. Too bad fate enjoyed fucking with him.

Tooru was sitting by the pool. Hajime spotted him when he walked to the gate that separated his yard from the Oikawa's yard. At this point, he shouldn’t even be surprised by this.

“It’s a little chilly out,” Hajime said offhandedly. “Come inside.” He walked toward the back patio and Tooru followed. When they were inside, Hajime turned to face Tooru. “I have good news, your mom…” He saw the look on Tooru’s face. “Tooru?”

“You like Takumi more than me, don’t you?” Tooru asked, his eyelashes damp, bottom lip quivering. “It’s cause he’s an adult and not a stupid kid like me. Is that it?”

The rational thing would’ve been to tell Tooru, in a calm manner, that he had things completely wrong, that he had nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, Hajime was inebriated. He was also breathing in lung fulls of Tooru’s shampoo, and it made his skin feel hot.

Without thinking, Hajime reached forward, his thumb catching on Tooru’s bottom lip. It was nice and plump, a little damp, too. “You know it’s you I want,” he said, voice low, rough. “Only you.”

Tooru’s eyes widened. “But...I thought…” He shook his head, deeming that unimportant right now. When Hajime’s thumb dropped, he picked the man’s hand up and kissed his knuckles. “I was being silly. I’m sorry.”

“S’okay.” Hajime moved closer, pressing Tooru’s back against the patio’s glass doors. He touched the boy’s bottom lip with his index finger. “You shouldn’t be over here this late.” Using that same finger, he parted Tooru’s lip, inched his finger in, feeling hot breath tickle his skin. “I’ve been drinking…”

In response, Tooru opened his mouth wide, allowing Hajime’s finger in further. At the feel of Tooru’s tongue, Hajime felt a shiver pass through him. He added another finger, and another, the entire time watching Tooru with his own mouth hanging open. Tooru sucked on the tips of Hajime’s three fingers, his eyes closed. 

Hajime imagined those same pink lips stretched around his cock. It was incredibly wrong, but enticing at the same time. He could see it clearly. Tooru on his knees, staring up at him with wet eyes, trying his hardest to fit Hajime’s entire cock in his mouth. The tears were from frustration and a little bit of pain from the strain on his throat. Hajime’s hand was fisted in Tooru’s hair, guiding him on his cock, fighting his own desire to fuck the boy’s mouth raw.

The longer Tooru sucked on Hajime’s fingers, the more Hajime wanted the fantasy to come true. It’d be so easy. If he asked, Tooru would let him. In fact, he’d be more than happy to drop to his knees right there and let Hajime have his way. Tooru held on to Hajime’s hand tightly and forced the fingers further down his throat. He gagged and pulled them out, a trail of saliva connecting his lips to Hajime’s fingers.

Hajime’s cock was so hard. He kissed Tooru, all tongue, thrusting and swirling in Tooru’s mouth. Sweet traces of berry cobbler was present. He more than likely had a second serving. Tooru whimpered loudly and circled his arms around Hajime’s neck.

Fucking Tooru against the glass door crossed Hajime’s mind. A lot of things crossed Hajime’s mind at that moment, most were sexual in nature. But the one thing that was more persistent than the other thoughts were Takumi’s words. They sliced through the lust in Hajime’s mind, and he stopped.

“I’m drunk,” Hajime said, putting distance between them, untangling Tooru’s arms. “I don’t want to do anything with you while I’m like this, Tooru.”

“I don’t mind it,” Tooru said. “You’re my boyfriend.”

Hajime knew Tooru would say that. He was prepared for it. “We need to talk about why you thought I was interested in your brother of all people. That’s a talk we need to have when I’m in my right mind.” He paused. “I also don’t want to be drunk the first time we have sex. Don’t you want your first time to be special?”

“If it’s with you, it’ll be special either way.” Tooru seemed to consider something. “But if you’re not comfortable with it, we can wait...”

Now that was something Hajime wasn’t expecting to hear from Tooru. He was prepared for the boy to push and push until Hajime had to be more aggressive. This was a way better turn out. 

Tooru hugged Hajime, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. “I should probably head home. We can talk about the camping details tomorrow and whatever else.”

Hajime returned the kiss. “Okay. Goodnight, Tooru.”

“Goodnight, Iwa-chan.”

He watched Tooru leave out the same door they’d come in. After locking the door, he continued to stand there, thinking about how close he’d come to allowing his dick to ruin everything. Even worse, his boner was still there, throbbing in his pants, demanding his attention. He wasn’t opposed to jacking off, not in the slightest. The only reason why Hajime hesitated was that he knew that this time a few scattered images of himself balls deep inside of a guy who may or may not be Tooru wasn’t going to cut it this time. In order to get off, he’d have to resort to something he’d been trying so hard to avoid.

In the end, his lust triumphed. Hajime went to his bedroom, undressed, got on his bed, and unlocked his phone. Inside his deleted files, Hajime found the video. He deleted it, but it was pointless because his phone held all his deleted items just in case he wanted to restore them. He figured he wouldn’t feel as guilty if the video was inside the deleted folder. It didn’t change the fact that he still had it, though.

When Hajime pressed play and Tooru’s broken moans filled his bedroom, he knew there was no going back. One hand holding the phone, he used his other hand to stroke himself to the images on the screen.

Tooru was naked. Tooru was naked with his legs spread and cock bouncing between his thighs. Tooru was screaming Hajime’s name while fucking himself on a dildo. He was tight, Hajime could tell just by looking. Tight and soft and warm. Pink. So pink and pretty. He bet Tooru tasted amazing. Not sweet, but delectable in a way. If he tried hard enough he could almost taste Tooru on his tongue, and feel him squeezing and flexing around his cock. He bet Tooru was a crier. He’d probably cry from how good Hajime felt inside him. Hajime would lick his tears away and fuck him deeper. 

It should be illegal for Tooru to be this beautiful. The fact that Hajime was attracted to him was, in fact, illegal. But if he dwelled on trying to explain all the loopholes, his boner would go down and he didn’t want that to happen.

By this point, his phone was sitting beside his head on the pillow, filling his ears with debauched sounds. His eyes were closed, his lips between his teeth, and his hand was moving fast, gliding smoothly thanks to the pre-cum pre cum. Hajime could see Tooru in his mind so clearly, arching and whining beneath him, allowing Hajime to do things to him that no one else had ever done.

And Hajime thought he was most turned on by that. That Tooru was his and his alone. Something he couldn’t even have from his own wife. The thought of Miho almost ended Hajime’s fantasy. He aggressively pushed all thought of her from his mind until it was nothing more than a bad aftertaste that was soon overcome by thoughts of Tooru. 

Why did he have to be so restrained all the time? Tooru could be here now, bouncing on his dick like he’d done with the dildo. Another man would’ve taken Tooru by now. It wasn’t like Tooru didn’t want him. He wanted Hajime to have his way with him, even begged for it sometimes. The things Tooru would let Hajime do to him seemed endless. Hajime’s cock throbbed at the possibilities, and he came in his hand, a little of it spilling on his thigh.

Hajime immediately felt terrible. He’d used Tooru’s video to get off. A video that, if ever found in his possession would land his ass in prison. He should be ashamed of himself. He should delete the video.

He didn’t.

It was a video that his boyfriend sent him, Hajime reasoned. He didn’t steal the video, he didn’t record it without Tooru’s knowledge or consent, and he didn’t download it from some shady site. There was nothing to feel guilty about, though, that didn’t stop him from feeling like crap.

After cleaning himself up, Hajime crawled under the covers. He spent a majority of the night trying to figure out if he’d always felt this way about Tooru and didn’t realize it. Had he been unintentionally grooming Tooru under a guise of being a good role model? Hajime didn’t think that was the case because he could honestly say he’d never been attracted to a minor before. That wasn’t the kind of person he was. He much preferred men. Strong, muscular men to be precise.

But he didn’t understand how or why Tooru developed feelings for him. He couldn’t grasp his decision to return Tooru’s feelings, either. He just felt that, while it was constitutionally wrong, it wasn’t morally wrong to be with Tooru. He just felt it was the right thing to do like it was something he was meant to do. 

Had the feelings always been there or were they new? Hajime didn’t know and the unknown ate away at him.

* * *

_“You’re fond of them, aren’t you?” Miho asked as she handed her husband a cold glass of lemonade. Then she sat a tray holding four more lemonades on the table._

_Startled by the woman’s sudden appearance, Hajime quickly looked away from the three boys that were loudly playing in their pool. Their next door neighbors had two sons Hajime allowed to swim in their pool when the days were exceptionally hot. The other kid was the best friend of the youngest boy. Hajime couldn’t really remember the boy’s name. It started with an ‘M’. Matsun or something like that._

_But he knew the neighbors’ kids well enough. Takumi and Tooru were over his house a lot, mainly for his pool._

_“They’re good kids,” Hajime said. “Makes me wish we could…” He didn’t finish the sentence. He couldn't finish the sentence without feeling inadequate._

_Miho understood what he meant though. “Let’s not give up hope. Maybe one day we can have a house full.” She grimaces. “Although, that sounds like a nightmare.”_

_Hajime laughed. He didn’t think it sounded so bad._

_“I’m going to see if they want something to drink,” Miho said. “Don’t want them to get dehydrated.” She picked up the tray and walked over to the pool, calling out to the boys. The oldest, Takumi, was blushing at the sight of Miho in a one-piece swimsuit._

_Of course, Hajime had already noticed how Takumi drooled over his wife. The young boy wasn’t that good at hiding his crush on the woman. It was funny watching him scramble for the right words to say and avoid Hajime’s gaze. The other boy, Matsun, was also enamored by Miho. The only one who didn’t get flustered around her was Tooru. Honestly, he seemed to dislike Miho, though, he never outright said it or acted rudely toward her._

_Hajime could just tell._

_Takumi and Matsun sat near the pool and drank their lemonade, laughing at this and that. Miho was lying on the beach chair, sunbathing. That left Tooru and Hajime who were both seated at the table under the shade of the large, multi-colored umbrella._

_“How was your first year of junior high?” Hajime asked after noticing how Tooru kept glancing at him and looking away._

_Tooru’s cheeks burned red and he seemed to jump a little when Hajime spoke to him. “Um...it was okay…”_

_This type of reaction wasn’t new. Tooru was always shy and withdrawn, especially around Hajime. The older man chalked it up to two things. The first being Tooru’s nature; he was just a shy and withdrawn boy. The second thing was Hajime’s habit of scowling whenever he was in deep thought. He’d caught Tooru staring at him whenever he was in deep thought and the boy always looked so scared._

_“I hear you’re excelling in volleyball. That’s great, Tooru-kun!” He smiled, genuinely proud of Tooru because he simply liked to see people succeed._

_Tooru’s eye widened as he stared at Hajime. “I...I was awarded a trophy,” he said, voice soft. “Most valuable player. That’s what they said I was.”_

_“MVP awards are a high honor. You should be proud of yourself.”_

_“Are you proud of me, Iwaizumi-san?”_

_The way the question was asked made it sound like Tooru was desperate to know. Hajime was taken aback by how important his opinion seemed to be to Tooru. He was just a neighbor who socialized here and there and lent his pool whenever it was needed. Why did Tooru care so much about what he thought?”_

_Tooru spoke again. “When my mother told my father, he didn’t seem to care that much… “ He looked away, staring down at his lap. “I thought he’d be proud of me, but he didn’t even care.”_

_Hajime knew enough about their neighbors to know the Oikawa patriarch was a Grade A asshole who didn’t deserve to have a caring wife and two, talented boys as his sons. But he kept his opinions to himself on the matter. But he couldn’t be silent now. Without considering his actions, he placed his hand on Tooru’s head, ruffling the boy’s soft hair._

_“I’m very proud of you, Tooru-kun. You just learned how to play volleyball but you're already better than I was at your age."_

_Tooru looked up at Hajime, his eyes a little damp, but he didn’t cry. Instead, he smiled at Hajime. Big and bright, his eyes crinkled. Hajime felt a tiny pang in his heart, it was so subtle he barely registered it. When the moment ended, Tooru’s mood was noticeably lighter. He drank his lemonade quietly, a content smile on his face like Hajime's approval was all he needed in the world._

_It made Hajime happy to see Tooru happy. It made him want to be responsible for Tooru’s happiness for years to come_.

* * *

 _From: Ace_  
_> > Good morning. Could you stop by tonight around 6?_

Before Tooru could reply to the text, his phone rung, Kuroo’s stupid face showing up on the screen. The boy had set his own profile picture and it was one he thought made him look sexy. It didn’t. He looked like a dumb ass. An attractive dumb ass, but a dumb ass nonetheless.

“Hello,” Tooru answered.

Kuroo wasted no time, with pleasantries, “Time for you to return the favor. Can you meet me at the train station in an hour?” he asked.

“Sure...where are we going?”

“Just be here in an hour. I’ll fill you in when you get here.”

Although Tooru didn’t take kindly to Kuroo’s tone, he didn’t argue because Kuroo never sounded like this and he was honestly shocked and worried. When the call ended, he sent Hajime a short message, telling him that he’ll be over later. He hoped that whatever it was Kuroo wanted wouldn’t stretch on for the entire day and night. There was a lot he needed to talk about with Hajime, mainly his accusation last night and their camping plans. Tooru was so exciting about camping with Hajime, and also nervous. 

They would be alone in the woods, sleeping under the stars. With any luck, they'd be doing more than sleeping under the stars. Tooru would have to be sure to shave before that happened. He thought about doing it today, but he wanted it to be fresh for Hajime. 

After a short shower, Tooru dressed in a grey t-shirt and jeans. He grabbed his wallet off the bedside table, making sure his ID card was where it was supposed to be. Then he headed downstairs where his mother was in the living room watching a drama. 

“Going to meet Kuroo,” he told his mom as he put his shoes on. “See you later!”

“Okay, be safe," she called from the living room. 

Tooru took the bus to the train station. During the ride, he texted Matsukawa about an upcoming movie they were supposed to see. His friends had been teasing him endlessly about how frequently he’d been hanging with Kuroo, but in Tooru’s defense, his friends were always blowing him off. Kuroo was deadset on Matsukawa and Hanamaki being boyfriends, but Tooru couldn’t see it. They were straight for starters. He’d known them for years, Matsukawa far longer, and they’d never shown any interest in the same sex.

The bus dropped him off across the street from the train station. It was still early in the morning and the place was swarming with people. Tooru scanned the crowd, looking for a familiar bedhead. He spotted Kuroo sitting on a bench, his head down, face hard to read.

“Hey,” Tooru said, standing in front of Kuroo. “What’s this about?”

Kuroo looked up his face blank. He stood up, holding up two tickets. “We’re going to Tokyo,” he said. “I need to figure out what the fuck is going on with my boyfriend.”

“Tokyo is two hours away. We can’t just go there. It's not exactly up the street." 

“You promised to do anything I asked, right?”

Damn past Tooru and his short-sightedness. “I did say that, but I didn’t think you’d want me to take a day trip with you to Tokyo and spy on your boyfriend.”

“We’re not going to spy on him. I’m going to ask him why he’s not answering my calls, that’s it.”

“You’re going all the way to Tokyo to ask that?" Tooru asked, knowing full well that he'd travel further if Hajime was ignoring him. 

“Dude, please,” Kuroo said, sounding pained. “I need to know what's up with him. If he doesn't want me anymore, he's going to say that shit to my face. I won't accept anything else." 

“Fine,” Tooru sighed. “What time does our train leave?”

“In like...3 minutes.” He started walking in the direction of the trains. “I’m sorry for dragging you into this, but you’re the only friend who’ll understand, you know. And you can't talk me out of it cause you owe me." He looked over his shoulder and winked at Tooru. 

"Asshole." 

However, Tooru could understand. He walked hurriedly, trying to keep up with Kuroo. It crossed his mind to text his mother and let her know what was happening but he knew she wouldn’t approve of him going to Tokyo without an adult. Maybe if it was a smaller city and she knew in advance. He could text Takumi or even Iwaizumi so that at least someone would know where he was. But he didn’t text anyone, thinking he’d be back before anyone even noticed he was gone. 

TBC 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, let me know what you thought of the chapter!


	9. Call On Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings: homophobic slurs, unwanted groping. This chapter is heavy on the feels.

Their train was expected to arrive in Tokyo in approximately twenty minutes. Tooru decided now was a good time to ask Kuroo if he had a plan, and if so, what did it consist of. He’d thought about asking the boy when they’d first got on the train, but Kuroo’s somber mood had given him pause. For his friend’s sake, Tooru hoped they’d find nothing alarming and this spontaneous trip turned out to be a bust.

“Are we going to his house?” Tooru asked. He sure hoped not.

Kuroo shook his head, his face turned toward the window. “His university campus. Classes are still in session for him.”

“We can’t just walk on the campus.”

“I signed us up for a campus tour before I left the house. It’s in two hours.”

That was a good idea. With a tour, they’d be shown around the dorms. If their tour group turned out to be large, which it should be during that time of year, they’d be able to easily sneak off. But there was one problem.

“Do you know what dorm he’s in?”

“I’ll ask around.” Kuroo took his eyes off the passing scenery for the first time since they’d been on the train. He gave a smile that was probably meant to be reassuring. It wasn't really. “I won’t cause a huge scene or anything. I just want to talk.”

Whenever someone who looked as calm as Kuroo did right now said they just wanted to talk, it wasn’t really convincing. There was going to be a confrontation. Tooru could see it all over Kuroo’s face. He wasn’t going to accept anything less than an explanation from his boyfriend, and if that explanation was half-assed, he was going to lose his shit.

“Have you heard from him at all?” Tooru asked, hopeful. 

Kuroo sat up, dragging his hands down his legs, resting them on his knees. His fingers were tense, nails pressed into the fabric of his jeans. It was a motion Tooru was painfully familiar with. It was the way sidelined players sat during a match when they knew despite their anger, frustration, and humiliation, they had to keep up appearances.

“I haven’t talked to him in three days. He’s been ignoring my texts and calls. If he’d just told me straight up that he wanted to end things, I’d feel better. But to be ghosted like this…”

Tooru understood completely. To be ignored by a significant other, without explanation, was heartbreaking. He didn’t want to think about how it’d feel if Hajime stopped responding to him suddenly.

“We won’t leave until you see him and he gives you an explanation,” Tooru said, unable to not feel sorry for Kuroo. This was a risky move. A disaster waiting to happen. But he had to help his friend.

“Thanks.”

Stepping off the train, Kuroo led the way through the swarm of people, maneuvering in a way only a person who was from a big city knew how. This wasn’t Tooru’s first time in Tokyo, but he was still a little overwhelmed. Perhaps that was because he hadn’t been here in years. Fortunately, Kuroo was mindful of that. His walking pace was still brisk but he kept checking to make sure Tooru was still following him. Outside the station, Tooru ears were assaulted. Everything was so loud. He almost didn’t hear Kuroo speak.

“We’ll catch the bus to Shinjuku. The campus isn’t far from here,” he said, glancing both ways briefly before walking on the crosswalk. “We should be able to hang out at an internet cafe until it’s time for the campus tour.”

Tooru nodded even though he knew Kuroo wouldn’t see it. They reached the end of the crosswalk, a turning vehicle almost clipping Tooru. He glared at the car as it passed. What happened to pedestrians having the right of way?

“That doesn’t mean shit here,” Kuroo said, chuckling. It felt good to hear it. “We’re not in Miyagi anymore, country bumpkin.”

“I’m not a country bumpkin!”

“You probably think that transmission tower over there is the Skytree.”

Tooru frowned. “Oh, that isn’t the Skytree?” He looked at the tower again to make sure.

Kuroo let out the ugliest laugh.

“Shut up!”

The bus was jammed packed, a bulk of it was contributed to the lunch hour rush. Kuroo and Tooru stood in the aisle, squished in between businessmen in crisp suits. When the bus took an abrupt turn, the man behind Tooru lurched forward, the expanse of his body pressed to the boy’s back. He waited for the man to move away once the bus completed the turn. But the man didn’t. If anything, he moved closer, one hand on the small of Tooru’s back, far too close to his ass.

Tooru turned his head and was met with the man’s grinning face. He didn’t want this man touching him, but the words wouldn’t form and his body wouldn’t move. This was the first time he’d experienced anything like this, and he wasn’t sure how to process it.

“Back off, perv,” Kuroo suddenly said menacingly. He was facing them now, a protective hand on Tooru’s shoulder. “Or I’m going to kick your ass.”

The man backed away, as much as the packed bus would allow. When he did, Kuroo pulled Tooru closer to him, his eyes glued to the pervert.

“There’s no need for that kind of language,” the man said, sneering, his tone derisive. “I barely even touched him.”

Kuroo didn’t respond, just kept staring. Even when the man became frustrated and looked away, he didn’t stop watching him. Arriving at their stop, they got off the bus, hand in hand. Kuroo didn’t let go until they were walking on the sidewalk.

“Oikawa, you good?”

Tooru nodded. “I didn’t know what to say or do,” he admitted. “Thanks for stepping in.” He still felt uncomfortable just thinking about it.

“I should’ve smashed his face in.” Kuroo was visibly pissed. “I’m really sorry. I should’ve warned you about the gropers." 

“I’ve heard stories.” Tooru refrained from asking Kuroo if he’d ever been groped on a bus or train. “I’m fine. Really. Where’s the cafe?”

Kuroo dropped the subject, but it was obvious he was still upset on Tooru’s behalf. They walked a couple of blocks to the internet cafe in silence. Tooru checked his phone. He wanted to talk to Hajime so badly right now. But he didn’t want to bother him while he was at work. Hopefully, they could talk later once Tooru got back.

He wondered why Hajime wanted him to come over tonight. Was there a special reason or did Hajime just want to spend time with him? Either way, he was looking forward to it.

* * *

“You’re in a cheerful mood today,” Akiteru said, wiping the corners of his mouth with a napkin. “Any good news to share?”

They were in Hajime’s office, eating lunch together per usual.

Opening his desk drawer, Hajime returned the bottle of sriracha, mentally thanking the inventor of hot sauce. He smiled coyly at Akiteru. There were two reasons for his good mood, but he could only tell Akiteru about one.

“Miho’s agreed to finally sign the papers,” he said, unable to contain his smile. “Her lawyer called me this morning. My lawyer and I will be meeting with them in half an hour.”

Akiteru’s eyebrows rose. “That’s great, Iwaizumi-san!” His smile matched Hajime’s. “Do you know what made her give in? From what you’ve told me, she’s stubborn.”

“I don’t know, honestly. I’m just glad this will finally be over.”

“Then you’ll be back on the market,” he laughed. “Once word gets out, all the single women are going to be all over you!”

That reminded Hajime of the other reason for his mood that he couldn’t share with Akiteru. Last night, he had a self-discovery. It was after a memory fragment appeared in one of his dreams. He’d awaken afterward, with the answer to a question that’d previously haunted him. His feelings for Tooru weren’t wholly new. They’d just developed at a rapid rate, going from platonic to romantic in the span of days.

It was still jarring. Hajime knew if he tried explaining it to anyone, they’d misinterpret his feelings. From an outsider's perspective, any relationship with Tooru that wasn’t strictly platonic was wrong. But Hajime didn’t have to explain himself to anyone else. He only had to tell Tooru that he didn’t have to worry if his feelings were returned or if their relationship was to fill in for his failed marriage. 

“Sure you’re not already seeing anyone?” Akiteru’s voice cut through his thoughts. “You have that look…”

“That look?”

“Looks like you’re in love, Iwaizumi-san.”

Hajime wasn’t sure about that just yet. He was constantly at war with himself, always straddling the fence between resisting and indulging in Tooru. The fact that he was struggling as much as he was meant he at least deeply cared, but being in love was an entirely different playing field.

“I’m more focused on moving forward,” Hajime said, and it wasn’t entirely a lie. “Dating is the last thing on my mind.”

“Well, you’re still young. There’s no rush or anything.” Akiteru stood, picking up their empty food containers and paper bags. “I hope the meeting with Miho goes smoothly. I’m heading back to my office, I have to submit my article by 5 or my boss will murder me.”

Hajime chuckled. “I won’t murder you.”

“So, I don’t have to turn it in by 5?”

His face fell. “I’ll fire you,” he said flatly.

Akiteru laughed.

* * *

This was it. With a flick of a pen, their marriage would be over. Hajime went through hell and back to get to this point. He’d suffered from atrocities he’d never thought Miho capable of. Everything from petty sabotages to backstabbing. A couple of their mutual friends from university had cut him off because of lies Miho had told them. She’d even gone so far as trying to get Hajime’s parents involved.

All of that had been during the first few weeks of their separation. As hurtful as it was, it helped Hajime stick to his guns.

“Are we ready to begin the negotiations?” the mediator sitting at the head of the table asked.

Everyone nodded in agreement. Hajime’s lawyer took a folder out his briefcase and slid the folder across the table to Miho’s lawyer. While she read over it, Hajime and Miho stared at one another. He felt like he was staring at a stranger. 

“My client has recanted her earlier request to have half of everything,” Miho’s lawyer said, a bookish woman with a tight bun and thin eyebrows. “Nakamura-san only asks for 2.5 million yen.”

That was a shock. Hajime had come there prepared to give up half of his savings. His ex-wife was aware of the separate account that held the money from his past endorsements, royalties, and his inheritance from a deceased uncle; he was saving it all for retirement. The amount she was asking for wouldn’t even put a dent in that account. 

Hajime’s lawyer whispered to him, asking if the new request was suitable.

“What are you going to do for work, Miho?” Hajime asked. He saw the confusion on the woman’s face and knew it would soon turn into anger. “I’m not trying to pick a fight. I want to know if you’ll be okay, financially.”

“Don’t act like you give a damn about me now, Hajime! It’s too fucking late!” She slapped her hands on the table, leaning forward. “I only want this to be over with so I never have to see your face again!”

That should’ve been enough for Hajime to hurriedly agree to the new demands, have her sign the papers, and leave, washing his hands of Miho for good. But Hajime couldn’t do that. Not yet. He had to know why she hated him. They’d been happy at first. When did things go downhill? Their answers to that question may be different.

“Can we have the room?” Hajime asked the mediator.

“That’s ill-advised,” Hajime’s lawyer said. Miho’s lawyer nodded in agreement.

Hajime faced Miho.“I’m not having a change of heart. I just want to know what went wrong. We’ve been arguing this entire time about petty things. How about now we talk about the real issue? Then we can both walk away. For good.”

“Fine, let’s talk,” Miho said. “Everybody out!”

The mediator sighed and got up. Obviously, he was used to this happening. He waited by the door until the two lawyers reluctantly left their clients’. When they left the room, Hajime got straight to the point.

“Things were over between us long before you cheated, weren’t they?” he asked.

Miho sniffled, her eyes watering. “Yes, but you gave up on me first. I admit it, I cheated on you and I lied to you. But I was hurt! You fucking hurt me, Hajime. And it pisses me off that you act like you did nothing wrong!”

“Is this because I can’t reproduce? I told you that before we got married.”

“God, you’re dense!” She shook her head, smiling derisively. “Our marriage was in shambles by that point. Us trying for a baby was a last-ditch effort. I needed something...something to make up for my distant husband! I thought a baby would fix us!" 

Hajime frowned. “What do you mean distant? Every bit of free time I had was dedicated to you.” His mind was filled with memories of them going on dates, holidays, and spending time together around their home. He knew he’d been attentive.

“Yes, you were with me, physically, but your mind was always somewhere else, Hajime. It was like this massive wall was between us. Your heart was closed off, and no matter how hard I tried, you wouldn't let me in!”

“That’s not true…”

“You never even seemed happy when you were with me,” she sniffled, tears falling down her face. “You’d smile at me, but your eyes...it was like you were looking right through me...at something else...or someone else.”

Hajime was hearing all this for the first time. He wanted to deny everything she was saying, but he knew in his heart that she was telling the truth. He’d never noticed because he’d been, well distant. It was starting to make him wonder if he’d ever loved Miho at all.

“But when it came to your teammates,” Miho continued, “or your parents, even the neighbor’s fucking kid, your eyes were filled with the love you never showed me! Why didn’t you love me? I gave up everything for you to support your volleyball career.” She scoffed. “To be your fucking fangirl!”

“You were never my fangirl. You were my wife. We were partners.” Hajime wasn’t going to address the mention of the ‘neighbor’s kid’ because he knew she was referring to Tooru. “And I never asked you to give up anything for me. That was your decision!”

“Not once did you try to stop me, either. The only thing you cared about was volleyball. I supported you at every game. I was your number 1 fan because I wanted to be closer to you.”

Hajime didn’t realize he’d been gripping the wooden table this entire time until he happened to glance down. He dropped his hands in his lap, they were still trembling. He was angry. So angry. Mostly with himself.

“So, you did grow to hate me?” he asked quietly.

Miho took a deep breath, exhaling slowing, and said, “Yes, I hated you.” A pause. “I still do for many reasons. I hate you because you’ve always loved volleyball more than me. I hate you because after the first couple of attempts failed, you just gave up on us having a baby. Just once, I wanted you to suggest a different route. But you just gave up. Be honest, you never wanted children, did you?”

“I did want children.”

“Just not with me, is that it?”

Hajime didn’t respond; Miho already knew his answer. “Why didn't you ever bring any of this to my attention? We could’ve tried to work things out.”

Miho shrugged. “Guess I thought things would change on their own. I was content at times. The sex was great and I got to splurge with your money here and there. And the recognition that came with being your wife was also nice. When you were given the title, Ace of Japan, I felt like I was partially responsible. I wasn’t going to let someone else benefit from my hard work and sacrifices. So, I stuck around.”

“I was given that title a year after we’d married,” Hajime said. “That means, you spent four years secretly hating me.”

“The hate came later, but I was unsatisfied by that point.” Miho shook her head, laughing dryly. “Do you remember when you were selected for a medal of honor for all your charity work, and inspiring the nation as their shining Ace?” She grimaced in disgust at the memory. “The first person you told was those kids. Our neighbor’s kids. I found out after them. Your own wife. Your partner, as you call it.”

Hajime did remember that. Now that she’d brought it up, he realized he’d actually wanted Tooru to know and his older brother just happened to be there. Back then, anytime he told the boy about any of his accomplishments, he acted as if it made his entire day. Tooru had always seemed so sad. Hajime tried to lift his spirits whenever he could. The fact that he’d been in tune with Tooru’s emotions more than he’d been with his wife was saying a lot.

Wow, Hajime was a shitty person.

He tried to string together a sincere apology, but the words wouldn’t form. Miho had her faults, but so did Hajime. They were both responsible for their failed marriage. She should’ve communicated with him better. He should’ve taken his head out the clouds. Five years were wasted due to disconnection.

“I was happy when you injured yourself. In fact, it was the happiest day of my life.”

Hajime’s body jerked hard as though he’d been electrocuted. Everything she’d said up until that point chipped away at his heart, but that admission shattered it. Letting out a broken breath, a single tear fell.

Miho wiped her eyes, her body shaking with laughter. “When the doctor told me and your head coach that you’d never be able to play professionally again, I had to force myself not to scream with joy.” Her laughter stopped abruptly, her face dropping. “I wanted you to suffer for not loving me. But, I also wanted to use it as an opportunity to gain your love. All the physical therapy and counseling sessions were more than what I signed up for so I just gave up. You were weak and pitiful. I couldn’t stand it.”

That had been the lowest point in Hajime’s life. He’d been severely depressed. Volleyball had been everything to him; everyone who knew him was aware of that. He’d never cared too much about the title he was given or the fame he obtained, he’d just wanted to play volleyball. When Miho stopped accompanying him during physical therapy and counseling sessions, it had pushed him further into the abyss.

“Even that didn’t change anything,” Miho continued. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, staring at Hajime with puffy eyes. “The nation still loves you. Everyone you meet loves you. But have you ever loved anyone? Have you cared about anyone or anything more than fucking volleyba—”

Hajime cracked a smile, startling Miho into silence. “It all makes sense now,” he said, tone noticeably lighter. “I’m incapable of loving people like you. You’re right, I’m dense at times.” He paused. “A lot of times, but my instincts are sharp. I never gave you my heart because you never deserved it.”

“Are you shitting me? After everything I sacrificed—”

“From the sound of it, everything you’ve done has been for your own benefit in some way.”

“I refuse to let you turn this on me. It all boils down to one, major thing. I loved you and I never got that in return!”

“You never loved me,” Hajime said. “Not really.” He was confident in that conclusion because not once during their five years of marriage did Miho look at him the way Tooru did. “I think we’re done here.”

Pushing his chair back, he stood up, walking to the door to let the mediator and lawyers know they were ready to wrap things up. Miho sobbed for the remainder of the meeting. Before learning about all the messed up things she’d been harboring, he was going to offer a larger compensation. But Hajime’s kindness had its limits. In exchange for 2.5 million yen, Miho agreed to sign a non-disclosure agreement, saying she would no longer share Hajime’s personal business with the media.

She wasn’t even allowed to mention him at all. If she broke her word, she would have to pay a fine set by Hajime.

“One billion yen,” he said when the mediator asked him the price of the fine.

Miho was stunned. “I-I’ll never be able to pay that!”

“Precisely,” Hajime’s lawyer said. “This will ensure that you refrain from discussing my client, at any length, with...well, anyone. We can’t risk you sharing sensitive details with a friend or family member who may, in turn, speak with someone from the media.” He scribbled a note down in his record book. Then glanced at Miho again. “If by any chance, a story does surface and my client is mentioned, we will conduct a full investigation.” He smiled. “Just to make sure you weren’t the original source, you do understand?”

The woman gulped, turning to the mediator, silently begging for leniency. She was met with disappointment. The mediator was already drawing up the document with the amount Hajime chose.

Miho signed the papers as they were handed to her without putting up a fuss. When the mediator called the meeting to an end, she was the first to leave the room, her lawyer trailing behind her. The moment the door slammed shut, Hajime’s shoulders relaxed, the tension disappeared. His lawyer patted him on the back lightly. The man had been with Hajime from the start of the divorce process. He knew how stressful this entire ordeal had been.

Although his support was appreciated, there was only one person Hajime wanted by his side right now. 

* * *

Their plan had fallen through before it started thanks to a series of unfortunate, and all around fucked up events. After leaving the internet cafe, they’d headed to the university, on foot. A block away from campus, they’d been stopped by construction workers who were drilling a huge hole into the street. Kuroo had suggested another route, but it was blocked off for a random festival hosted by the university.

At that, Tooru had complained about the university’s inconsideration. If they’d known prospective students would be touring their campus today, why didn’t they post a memo concerning the construction on their website? He’d spent a good minute or so trashing Waseda, and praising Meiji; because Meiji would never.

Kuroo had taken the time to check his phone. That had been when he’d noticed the email notification from Waseda University. Due to the festival, and nearby construction, all campus tours had been canceled. The email had been an automated email, meaning, had Kuroo checked his email immediately after making the reservation, he would’ve known that.

Tooru had reigned in his irritation and suggested they walk around the festival in hopes of running into Kuroo’s boyfriend. Which was how they ended up meeting a couple of female university students who, after learning their ages, decided to adopt them on the spot.

“Let’s get our faces painted, Tooru-kun,” one of the girls exclaimed, grabbing him by the hand and dragging him through the crowd and past the line of activity booths. “You too, Tetsurou-kun!”

Behind Tooru, Kuroo was being pulled along by the other girl. Their names had slipped Tooru’s mind. Normally, he made more of an effort at being kind and courteous toward women because he honestly liked them. If this was a different situation, he would’ve loved to run around the festival with the girls, but he had more important things to do. Like, figure out where the hell Kuroo’s boyfriend was.

“Actually,” Tooru said, trying to break free from the girl’s hold, “we’re on a very important mission.” She was very strong; his arm didn’t even budge.

They stopped in front of a colorful booth where what looked like art students were face painting.

“A mission?” the girl asked curiously, stepping up to the booth to pick up an order sheet. “What does this mission consist of?”

Tooru looked at Kuroo, expecting to find the boy anxiously fidgeting, too nervous to enjoy the festival. Imagine his shock and annoyance when he saw Kuroo taking a bite of offered Taiyaki from the other girl’s hand.

“Mhm, so good,” Kuroo said, dramatically touching his chest. “You’re too kind, Saki-chan.”

Now Tooru remembered, Saki was the girl with the bob and Chuni was the bleached blonde who wanted Tooru to get matching face paint with her. He wasn’t even sure how they got themselves into this situation. A part of him wanted to blame Kuroo. But Tooru knew he had a talent for drawing the attention of random girls. Beauty was such a curse.

“Tooru-kun’s right,” Kuroo suddenly said, using the voice he used around Tooru’s mother, “we are on an important mission. You see, a very dear friend of mine hasn’t been responding to my texts or calls and I’m very worried.” He pouted for added effect.

That worked like a charm. Damn, Kuroo was good.

“Aww, you poor thing,” Saki and Chuni simultaneously said. Saki tapped her chin in thought. “Is your friend a student at Waseda? Maybe we’ll know him.”

“He’s a first year. His name is Asao Takahashi,” Kuroo said.

Chuni’s eyes lit with recognition. “Oh, I know him.” She tapped Suki on the shoulder. “That’s the guy who invited us over to his flat. He’s throwing a party tonight.”

Tooru didn’t have to see Kuroo to know the boy was struggling to keep a straight face. His boyfriend was supposed to be living in a dorm on campus. Why would he lie to Kuroo about that?

“I’d really appreciate it if you could give me the address.”

“Why don’t you and Tooru-kun just come with us to the party?” Saki asked.

Chuni elbowed Saki softly. “Are you crazy? We can’t invite minors. There’s going to be alcohol!”

“Then we won’t let them drink. Tetsurou-kun is only going to see his friend.”

“Chuni-chan’s right. We shouldn’t go to the party.” Tooru said. “If we have the address we can visit him before the party.” Attending a party with university students sounded fun, but they didn’t have any time for that.

“But we wanted to show you two around the festival,” Saki complained, locking her arms with Chuni, both girls giving them big puppy dog eyes. “Then we can take you to the party. We’ll just make sure no one gives you any alcohol.”

Tooru opened his mouth to protest, but Chuni spoke up first.

“It also doesn’t feel right handing out someone else’s address." 

The nerve of this girl, Tooru thought. She was above sharing someone’s address, but she didn’t think anything of inviting minors to a house party where he was sure there’d be more than just alcohol present. It was time for petty tactics. He would loudly suggest he and Kuroo try to find their _friend_ on their own. Then he’d pretend to walk away, prompting the girls to beg him to stay, and that would be his chance to give them an ultimatum.

Perfect. The plan was perfect. All Tooru needed, was for Kuroo to go along with it. So far, Kuroo had been on the same page as him. He was confident this would work.

“I know I’m asking a lot of you,” Kuroo said to Tooru, ”but can we stick around a little while longer? I promise I’ll make sure we get home at a decent hour.”

Tooru underestimated how dead set Kuroo was on confronting his boyfriend. Optimism had long abandoned him. The foreboding was palpable. If they stayed, things would continue to head south. He wanted to voice that, he really did, but he saw the determination in Kuroo’s eyes, hidden beneath the anguish and desperation. There was no turning back for Kuroo. If Tooru decided it was time for them to end this trip, Kuroo was going to continue without him.

“I need to call my mom,” Tooru said, defeated. He couldn’t allow Kuroo to do this on his own.

While the others waited for him by the face painting booth, he found somewhere relatively quiet to make a phone call. His mother sounded like she was in a good mood today, and he smiled at the sound of her voice. It was painful lying to her, though. He told his mother he’d be staying over Kuroo’s until tomorrow. Of course, she was okay with it because she trusted her son. He felt undeserving when she told him she loved him before ending the call.

Tooru sent a text message to Hajime, telling the man he wouldn’t be able to make it tonight and that he’d call him later. Taking a deep breath, he bottled up all his negative emotions and returned to the group.

“Okay, Chuni-chan,” he said, tapping into the personality he only showed to his fangirls at school, “what animal did you want to get painted?”

* * *

Five hours later, Tooru and Kuroo were sitting on a couch outside Suki and Chuni’s dorm room, exhausted, irritated, and full of festival food, animal face paint on their faces. Tooru was a butterfly, and Kuroo was a cat; an orange tabby to be precise. They were too done with everything to bother washing their faces.

Following the festival, the girls had decided they needed new outfits for the party. So they’d dragged the boys to the shopping mall. The short trip had turned into a two-hour adventure with Tooru and Kuroo serving as bag holders. Several times, Tooru thought about ditching the girls and forcing Kuroo’s ass to either find another way to figure out where his boyfriend lived or get on the train with him back to Miyagi. But he suffered through it all in silence.

Tooru wanted to pin this all on Kuroo, but he knew they were both suffering. Besides, it was his decision to tag along. Kuroo didn’t force him to stay.

“It’s funny that they think we’re straight,” Kuroo said with a dry chuckle. He was referring to how the girls had adamantly told them not to peek inside their room. If only they knew how uninterested they were. “Dude, straight guys our age would be so jealous of us right now.”

Tooru smiled. “I would gladly trade places with anyone interested right now. Every girl that passes through here looks at us like we’re crazy.”

“Maybe it’s the face paint.”

The door to the dorm room opens, finally, Suki and Chuni step out in their new outfits; basically miniskirts and halter tops. They’re still wearing their face paint and it somehow worked for them. They looked like trendy party-goers.

“Are you boys ready?” Suki asked, a painted, red dragon on her face.

Kuroo and Tooru stood, both nodding.

Chuni took Tooru by the arm. “Remember, no drinking for you two. But don’t tell anyone you’re minors or they’ll kick you out. If anyone tries to force you to drink or do anything…” She grinned and for the first time, Tooru was afraid of her. “Suki-san and I will break their arms!”

Tooru looked at Suki, who was holding Kuroo’s hand, and the girl nodded.

Kuroo and Tooru shared a look of surprise. These girls were actually pretty cool, and a little scary.

They took Suki’s car to the party. Half listening to the girls’ conversation about stressful exams, Tooru checked for trains leaving for Miyagi. He was relieved to see that there were at least four available options. If they left the party by eight or a little past that, they could take a train home and get there no later than eleven which was way past the time they set out for, but if he was lucky he could still stop by Hajime’s house.

He sent his boyfriend a message asking him to wait up for him. _His boyfriend_. The thought made Tooru feel warm all over. He still wasn’t over the fact they were in a relationship. Getting to see Hajime later gave him something to look forward to, made it easier to get through this trip. But it also made him feel bad for Kuroo. At this point, he knew where this was going for Kuroo, and the end results were far from good.

The flat was bigger than Tooru expected. It was actually a loft, and several people were already present, drinking from red cups and socializing, music blasting in the background. No one greeted them at the door. With the girls leading the way, they walked right in. Kuroo was on high alert. He didn’t take everything in like Tooru was doing. He had tunnel vision.

However, they still had to be patient. Suki and Chuni had been serious about keeping an eye on them. They had to stand by while the girls spoke to almost everyone they walked by. On top of that, a lot of people seemed interested in introducing themselves to Kuroo and Tooru. Maybe because they were new faces and everyone seemed familiar with one another.

They were offered drinks. The girls declined for them.

“Where’s the host?” Saki asked the group of people they’d been catching up with. “We want to thank Asao-san for inviting us!”

Tooru wanted to hug her. _Good job, Saki-chan! No more stalling!_

“Oh, he’s upstairs introducing his new girlfriend to everyone.” The girl who spoked rolled her eyes. “She’s stuck up!" 

Tooru didn’t even hear the last part, he didn’t care to hear it after what came prior. He tried his best to be discreet when he turned to Kuroo, but the sudden movement caught everyone’s attention anyway.

“Girlfriend," Kuroo muttered, his eyes wide and empty, his fist balled at his sides. “That piece of shit!” He finally snapped.

Saki and Chuni were stunned while Tooru had been expecting that sort of reaction. His friend had been holding it in all day, and that was the breaking point. He knew he should’ve tried to stop Kuroo from storming off toward the staircase, but he didn’t do anything. He only followed.

“Tooru-kun,” Chuni yelled, following behind him, Saki in tow, “what’s going on?”

Tooru was too focused to respond. The girls were going to find out soon enough at this rate. Reaching the stairs, he tried to catch up to Kuroo who was already at the top of the stairs, Suki, Chuni, and their other friends right behind them. They didn’t have to go far. Kuroo was standing in the middle of the upper lounge where people were seated on the couch, passing a joint between them. Seated on the love seat was a guy and a girl, the guy stared at Kuroo like he’d seen a ghost and that was how Tooru knew that was Asao.

Asao was decent looking; tall, medium build, regular face, and short, dark hair. He wasn’t ugly, but Tooru immediately thought that Kuroo could do a whole lot better than this jerk.

“Tetsurou,” Asao stopped himself, clearing his throat. “Kuroo-kun, what are you doing here?”

“You know this kid?” his girlfriend asked.

Kuroo, no everyone in the room waited for Asao’s answer. The tension was thick, heavy. Feeling the crushing weight of expectant stares on him, Asao said the one thing Tooru had hoped he wouldn’t.

Asao shrugged. “No, not really.” He saw the disbelieving looks on everyone’s faces. They all heard him address Kuroo, after all. “He goes to my old high school. We’re not friends or anything.”

Yeah, that was the wrong fucking thing to say.

“Not really?” Kuroo repeated, his eyes dark. “You’ve only been fucking me for about a year now!” He shouted. “We aren’t friends! We’re boyfriends, you lying, cheating, sack of shit!”

Behind him, Tooru could hear Chuni and Suki’s soft gasp.

Asao abruptly stood from his chair, his girlfriend scrambling to follow. He got in Kuroo’s face. “I’m not gay,” he said, making sure they could all hear, “and we’re not in a relationship. We never were. You’re just mad because I never returned your feelings. Don’t try to humiliate me in front of my friends!” He shoved Kuroo back, the boy stumbling. “You need to leave!”

Kuroo wasn’t backing down. “Oh, I see. They don’t know about how you love fucking teenage boys.” He reached into his pocket for his phone. “Don’t worry I have videos and pictures to prove—”

“You fucking faggot!” Asao screamed, grabbing Kuroo by the shirt with so much force the boy’s head jerked violently. “I told you to fucking leave!” He hit Kuroo in the face.

And Tooru fucking lost it.

The entire room was thrown into chaos, everything happened so fast. Before Tooru reached Kuroo, the boy was already fighting back, startling Asao by the sheer amount of rage he possessed. He overpowered the man, knocking him to the floor and straddling him, punching him repeatedly and shouting profanities.

“Get off my boyfriend, you fag!” Asao’s girlfriend screamed. She grabbed Kuroo by the back of his shirt, trying to yank him off, but her hand was slapped away by Suki.

“Don’t call him that!” Suki yelled as she pulled the girl’s hair. “Your boyfriend’s a sick fuck!”

Suki had beat Tooru to it.

He’d never hit a girl before, never even thought about it, but he was so fucking pissed right now, and his vision was blotted. All he saw was red. While Suki and the girlfriend tussled on the floor, Chuni tried to break them up. Suddenly, Asao shoved Kuroo off and lunged for him. That was when Tooru kicked Asao in the back, giving Kuroo the opportunity to regain the upper hand. It felt amazing doing that.

Someone hit Tooru from behind, knocking him down to the floor, he figured it was one of Asao’s guy friends. Clutching his head, he glanced up in time to see Chuni slapping the guy who’d hit him. All of it was one huge mess. Several people tried breaking up the fights. Tooru was struggling with someone on the floor, he had no idea who it was or why they were fighting him, he just kept swinging.

Everything had come to a screeching halt when the police arrived. It was pure pandemonium. The guy Tooru had been fighting took off running, Suki and Chuni’s friends were pulling them away, but the girls struggled, trying to take Kuroo and Tooru with them. Tooru wasn’t sure how it all happened. He just knew that one moment, he was reaching for Kuroo’s hand so they could leave with the girls, and then the next thing he knew they were being escorted out the house in handcuffs, their face paint smudge and their clothes wrinkled.

Asao, his girlfriend, and a handful of other guests were taken into custody. The events that followed felt like a fever dream. Tooru and Kuroo were interrogated because the police had found an insane amount of drugs in the apartment, plus there was the whole disorderly conduct ordeal. They kept their story straight and stuck to the full truth.

Still, it took hours for the officers to decide they weren’t suspects, and they had to pay a fine in order to be released. Neither of them had the money to cover the fee, even with their money combined. Tooru didn’t have much of a choice. They didn’t want their parents to know and none of their friends had that much money.

Tooru had no choice but to call Hajime.

* * *

“Are you going to be okay?” That was a dumb question. Tooru immediately regretted it. “I know you won’t but...still…”

Kuroo swiped his tongue over the cut on his lip, wincing slightly. “I’m pissed more than anything,” he sighed. “Although, when he called me that word it hurt a whole lot. Felt more betrayed then, than I was when I found out he had a girlfriend.”

All of Tooru’s anger returned. He wasn’t sure where the energy had come from. With the day they’d had, he was surprised he hadn’t collapsed by now. They’d been on the road for nearly three hours; it was almost two in the morning when they pulled up to Kuroo’s grandparent’s house. Kuroo and Tooru were standing outside on the sidewalk for privacy while Hajime kept the car running. When Tooru had called Hajime from jail, the man didn't yell at Tooru or make him feel any worse than he already did. Hajime simply asked how much money he needed to bail them out. 

“I hope they charge him for drug possession,” Tooru said, not caring if the drugs were Asao’s or not. He could rot for all Tooru cared. “Saki-chan gave his girlfriend a good beating too. She was like a protective older sister when it came to you.” He thought about how Chuni hadn’t hesitated to defend him, either.

Kuroo had completely missed that part. “Really? Those girls were really cool…” His face fell. “I feel bad for not thanking them. They did drag us around all day, but they were nice.”

“Maybe if we try hard enough we can find their social media.”

“I’ll be on the lookout.” Kuroo glanced over Tooru’s shoulder to where Hajime was parked. “I think he loves you, too,” he said.

Tooru hadn’t been expected that and it showed. “What makes you say that?”

“Not that I’m an expert, obviously. But I’ve had my fair share of older men, boyfriends in general, and none of them looked at me the way the Ace looked at you when he first walked into the police station.”

“How did he look?”

Kuroo tried to find the right words, choosing them carefully. “Like he'd take a bullet for you. I don't know.” He made a small sound that was meant to mirror an indifferent snort, but it was too broken. “I’m not seriously dating anyone else until I find someone who looks at me like that.”

“You’ll find someone,” Tooru said, genuinely hoping that to be true.

“Yeah, we’ll see. Anyway, I should get going. Thanks for being there with me, Oikawa. It means a lot.”

Tooru told him he was simply being a friend. They departed after that, not wanting things to get awkward. Kuroo must have forgotten about how he’d cried in the backseat of Hajime's car on their way home and Tooru silently held his hand. They'd probably never bring it up. But their friendship had evolved in the span of one day. There was no room for awkwardness.

Back in the car with Hajime, Tooru thought about what Kuroo said about the way Hajime had looked at him. He was dying to know if there was any truth to it, though, he wasn’t bold enough to ask. He was too ashamed to even look at Hajime right now. The man had been quiet since they left the police station in Shinjuku after asking if they were both okay. The only other time he talked was to ask Kuroo for his grandparents’ home address.

Hajime didn’t appear upset. Honestly, he was hard to read.

“Are you taking me home?” Tooru gathered the courage to ask.

“Do you want to go home?”

“No, I want to stay with you tonight…”

“Then, I’m not taking you home.”

Tooru wanted to hug Hajime.

The feeling hit him seemingly out of nowhere. He only held back because Hajime was driving. But the moment they made it to the man’s home, the door closed behind them, Tooru all but jumped in Hajime’s arms. Hajime circled his arms around Tooru automatically, and his touch broke Tooru. He started sobbing.

Somehow they ended up sitting on the floor, Hajime’s back against the door, Tooru crying and shaking in his arms, struggling to get words out. Hajime patiently coaxed them out of him as he petted Tooru’s hair and held him tight.

Tooru left out the incident on the bus, not because he wanted to keep it from Hajime, but because he wasn’t sure how to bring it up. It had been a minor incident compared to everything else. He focused on the events surrounding Kuroo finding out about his boyfriend’s girlfriend, the humiliating argument that transpired, and the brawl. He admitted that he was afraid when they were arrested. He’d never been in a situation like that, and the way the officers interrogated them—it was all very overwhelming. The more he talked about it, he started to relive it all, the discomfort and fear.

“I’m very sorry you two went through all that,” Hajime said. He took Tooru’s face into his hands, using his thumbs to wipe his tears away. “Hey,” he said softly, getting the boy to open his eyes. “I’m here. I’m right here with you.”

Tooru blinked. He was no longer on the bus in Tokyo. He wasn’t on the floor of Asao’s flat, fighting a faceless person. He wasn’t at the police station in a bright, daunting room. This was a safe place; one of the safest.

Hajime smiled at Tooru once the boy's eyes returned to normal. “Come on, I’ll give you a bath and some clean clothes to change into. That okay?”

“Yes.”

* * *

 

Hajime kneeled by the side of the tub while he bathed Tooru. Using a wet towel, he carefully wiped the smudged remnants of face paint from Tooru’s face, his hand cupping the boy’s chin delicately. Up this close, he was met with a conclusion he’d come to before; Tooru was beautiful. His face wasn't completely blemished free. There were a few, tiny marks here and there, from treated acne. But they were hardly noticeable. Hajime only noticed because he was hyper-focused on the boy’s face. Even with the marks, he still saw Tooru as surreal. 

“All done,” he said, dropping the towel into the tub.

Tooru opened his eyes, focusing on Hajime. Another thing about being this close to Tooru was that Hajime was hit with the full intensity of the boy’s unconditional love for him, and it made it difficult to breathe. It was smothering. 

“How did I never notice before?” Hajime asked, awestruck. “I guess I really am dense…”

“Noticed what, Iwa-chan?” He was amused by the expression on the man’s face, oblivious to the impact he’d just made by simply looking at Hajime. 

Hajime thought about earlier that day with Miho, the things she’d said, the things she’d brought to his attention.

“Do you remember my injury?” he asked. “At the time, I didn’t notice, or maybe I was just wrapped up in my own head, but those few times you stopped by the house with fruit from your mother…”

Tooru blushed, glancing down at the water. “That was so long ago, Iwa-chan. Why are you bringing it up now?” He was flustered.

Hajime thought he already had his answer thanks to the boy’s reaction, but he had to ask.

“Did you buy those apples for me yourself? You can tell me.”

“I...yes. I used some of my allowance money...but it wasn’t a lot of money or anything.”

“You peeled them yourself?” Hajime remembered clearly now. He chuckled. “They weren’t always peeled. Only that first time.” The apples had been poorly peeled, chunks of the fruit carved off; the handy work of a child. 

“They turned brown really fast,” Tooru said, frowning. “I didn’t want to give you brown apples.”

“Why did you bring me apples and pretend they were from your mother, Tooru?”

Tooru bit his lip, looking everywhere but at Hajime. It was hard to imagine this was the same boy who’d boldly confessed his feelings. Could it be that he’d gone this entire time thinking his affection had gone unnoticed? Well, it had. Hajime wasn’t proud of his past obliviousness. But bit by bit, it was all coming back to him.

“You were hurting and I wanted you to get better. I knew there wasn’t much a kid like me could do, but I wanted to help out in any way.”

“Thank you, Tooru.”

“It was nothing.”

“It wasn’t nothing. It means everything to me.” Tooru meant everything to him. “I’m sorry it took me so long to see you. But do you understand why I couldn’t at the time?

“Because you were married?” Tooru shook his head. That wasn’t right. “Because you didn’t look at me the same way you do now. Is that it?”

That was the gist of it. “You don’t have to worry anymore. I see you, Tooru.” He felt incredibly light, weightless. Being in love with someone who reciprocated was supposed to feel like this. “I finalized my divorce today.” He smiled at the astonished expression on the boy’s face. “I’m all yours, Tooru. If you’ll have me that is…”

Tooru’s arms shot out the tub, splashing water everywhere and he threw them around Hajime’s neck, half his body hanging over the ledge. “Really? You’re really mine?” His voice cracked. “All mine?”

“All yours.”

They kissed, and it was much like their first kiss, wet and messy from Tooru’s happy tears. 

 

TBC 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am happy to announce that we have seen the last of Miho! AND next chapter is 100% IWAOI and if you're wondering, yes, they're going camping!!! There are about 5 more chapters left ahh!


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